Bars and Wars
by trampvamp
Summary: Bella gets one heck of a surprise one night when an unexpected visitor returns to her life.
1. Chapter 1

Bars and Wars

Chapter 1

"Okay, okay, listen up people. We have two bachelor parties booked tonight. Give the boys a good show, but do not, I repeat, do not, TANYA, cross the line. I mean it. I don't care how many of the bachelors you take home with you tonight, but not in my club, understood?" I narrowed my eyes, smirking at Tanya.

"Fine, Bella. I mean, just because you won't look twice at him, or any man for that matter," Tanya said, rolling her eyes at me, "doesn't mean the rest of us have to be so prudish."

"Good. Now, Alice, love, I am not sure why you are at my staff meeting, but since you are, will you once again remind your brother that my club is not his own personal hunting grounds, and to please back off my girls and my customers?" I turned back to my staff. "Tanya, Char, please stop encouraging him. I don't care how many times you two hook up with Edward outside the club, but please, do not give it to him in the bathroom again." Char's cheeks blushed red as I glared menacingly in her direction, placing my hand on my best friend Alice's shoulder as I tease my staff.

Emmett, one of my bouncers, slowly moved Rose's hair from her neck, exposing it to him, then leaned over and rested his chin on her shoulder, listening as I went over the announcements.

"Emmett and Mike, don't forget we need the kegs changed out before opening."

Mike nodded and placed his cell phone back into his pocket.

"Oh, and guys, please keep a close eye on all of us tonight. Girls, no body shots unless Emmett or Mike are supervising. This is for your protection as much as it is for the club's, so, please, no exceptions. Besides," I added with a smirk. "The boys love it when you make them wait."

"Yeah, just make sure to flaunt your shit while they wait for it, and they will eat it up." Emmett offered his unsolicited advice.

"I'll flaunt it alright, big guy," Rose retorted, moving away from him, making Emmett realize the mistake he had just made.

"Baby, you don't have to flaunt anything, you already have me." Emmett's futile attempts at recovering from his faux pas only made matters worse, and Rose moved further away from his roving hands.

"There is already a line most of the way down the block, I think we can expect it to be standing room only and then some again tonight, so hustle it up people. And remember, there isn't another club in town where you can make this kind of green, and I wouldn't want anyone else working here besides you freaks, so don't give me any shit, capisce?" I said, laughing through the last part so they all knew I was only half serious.

I couldn't be luckier with the crew I had working for me in this little goldmine. Rose and I had been friends for years, and we would go to hell and back for each other. Same with Corin.

With Rose and Corin, I swear the entire male population of Seattle would gladly jump off a bridge for just one night with either of them; for the two of them together, heaven only knew what they would do. They truly, both, were absolutely stunning, and no one was better at flirting and putting on a show. When they performed together, the room was usually filled with stunned silence as the boys all stared in awe with their mouths hanging open. Shit, half the women in the bar second guessed their own sexual preferences when watching these two.

Rose and Emmett had been together for a couple years, though, so I never worried about her crossing the line with the customers, and Corin had been with Santiago for an eternity as well, so she just laughed off the dozens of proposals she got each night.

Tanya and Char, on the other hand, kept me hopping. They were both beautiful, and very, very single. I knew they both pushed the limits with the customers, but were pretty good about keeping it out of the club... Usually. I didn't begrudge them the opportunity to hook up with customers, as long as they didn't risk my liquor license by doing it here. Tanya and Char both hooked up with Edward from time to time; mostly because he was safe - they could trust Edward not to want more and not to hurt them.

I shook my head at the thought of Edward, my best friend's pain in the ass, player of a brother. I wished I had a nickel for every skirt he twirled his way through. Hell, I wished I had a nickel for every time he tried to get _me_ to sleep with him. That boy was insatiable. You'd think that after six years of knowing me, and striking out, he'd give it up, but not Edward. Luckily, I only had to deal with him as a customer, and not as an employee. He threw a lot of business my way, and I appreciated that. Around here, wherever Edward Cullen hung out, a few dozen hot women followed. And where there were hot women, yeah, the horny males of Seattle flocked, trying to pick one of them up.

It was a win-win for me. All the wannabe players followed Edward's lead, and his endorsement of the club as the hottest one in town pretty much sealed its popularity, so the place was packed every single night. On the weekends, it was absolutely insane. Really, I probably should have paid him for the advertising budget I didn't spend.

Edward's behavior certainly made for interesting dinner conversations at the Cullen house. Esme and Carlisle insisted that Alice and Edward come for Sunday dinners every week, and ever since I first began rooming with Alice Freshman year, I have been expected as well. Later, Alice's fiancé, Peter, joined us as well. Carlisle shook his head at Edward's antics, and poor Esme was constantly trying to get her son to settle down with a nice girl like me. The fact that she actually said that, weekly, was beyond embarrassing.

Alice and Peter tried their hardest to shield Esme from knowing just how bad Edward was, and covered for him frequently when he disappeared for days on end. Alice had told her mother that Edward crashed at our place so often, that after awhile I just nodded and agreed that, "Yeah, I think Edward is crashed in the guest room again," as a matter of course.

There had been a few too many times when he actually did crash at our place, though. On more than one occasion, I had to knock on Alice and Peter's door just to get a drunken Edward out of my bed where he had been trying to convince me that he'd make it worth it.

Shaking my head clear of the distractions, I answered a couple questions, and then wrapped up the meeting. "Okay people, Char is pouring; let's have fun tonight." I waited for Char to finish pouring each of the staff, and Alice, who insisted on hanging out for my staff meetings for some strange reason, a shot.

"Ready?" I lifted the shot to my lips and toasted my staff. "Skirts up, bitches."

Everyone toasted and threw back their shot, and then we headed into another night working at the hottest club in town. My club: Coyote Ugly.

The night was everything it had promised and threatened to be, just as I had hoped. The line reached out the door all night long since nobody wanted to leave. The two bachelor parties were smashing successes. Well, maybe not for the brides-to-be, but the boys had the times of their lives. At one point, I overheard one of the best men commenting on how he may just cancel the stripper for later at the hotel suite because the women here were so much hotter than strippers. Hearing that, I grinned from ear to ear and stepped behind the bar to help my girls out.

Later in the evening, after Alice had spent an hour in my office explaining why it was a good idea to upgrade the women's bathrooms and the decor in the men's room, I was willing to do anything to get out of that conversation. I was rescued by Emmett poking his head in to say that the girls were ready to dance. Relieved, I excused myself from the conversation, but dragged Alice with me, so that she could watch the latest choreography Corin had worked up.

I stepped up onto the bar with the rest of the girls beside me and Emmett and Mike behind us, and the music started blaring: Def Leopard, Pour Some Sugar On Me. Performing as one, with each of us adding our own flavor to Corin's number, it was as close to a strip tease as I'd ever allow to be performed in the club. No clothing actually came off my staff, but there were still a dozen new bras hanging from the ceiling by the time the number was done, each more raunchy than the last. I rolled my eyes when I saw them hanging there, wondering what kind of woman did that sort of thing.

Swaying my hips and gyrating down towards the bar, I lazily watched the customers, glad that they so enjoyed the staff dances atop the bar, though Emmett and Mike were both working hard to keep the customers from grabbing at us as we performed. I couldn't help but laugh as Edward walked through the front door of the club, looking up to the bar with a smirk. He drew nearly as much attention as the five of us dancing did, just by meandering across the floor towards the bar.

I waited, watching to see which lucky girl vying for his attention would win the prize for the night. Would it be Char or Tanya, or maybe a customer? It's a little game I played with myself. I could usually predict within the first five minutes who he will be leaving with at the end of the night. I laughed to myself as I saw a gorgeous strawberry blond blatantly ignore him, catching his interest. My private bet was waged: it would be the strawberry blond, without a doubt.

Our dance ended, and the customers screamed and begged for more. The girls began to tease, and the boys begin lining up, calling for body shots. Shaking my head and laughing, I nodded to Emmett. Hell, it was never too early to let the girls make some real tips.

I climbed down and began the task of filling drink orders for the waitresses. Jessica and Lauren are yelling them out faster than I could fill them. I worked quickly to catch up, then watched as Tanya lay across the bar and flirted with her first body shot customer of the night. The girls could easily make $20 tips per shot, sometimes more if they worked it right. But some customers just paid more than others. For example, Edward, the jackass, once paid me $500 for give and get body shots. That was a rare occasion. I almost never participated, unless the girls really needed the help or a customer specifically demanded the owner or asked for me by name.

Eavesdropping on the boys from one of the bachelor parties as I walked to my office, I heard him say, "I'll bet you $100 you can't get the owner to let the groom do a body shot off of her, Edward says she is hands off. I guess she doesn't do body shots for anyone but him, and never hooks up either. I know he has tapped the red head and the blond with the tits, but I bet you he has never hit that fine ass. It would be fucking cool to get the one even Cullen can't land."

Stewing over the comments all the way to my office, I texted Alice and asked her to meet me there.

Practically attacking her as she walked in the door and closed it behind her, I groaned. "Alice, I now have customers making bets on whether they can get me to do body shots, and discussing mine and your brothers' imaginary sex life. This has gone far enough. Fuck My Life."

"Bella, relax. They are stupid boys, and stupid boys always talk out of their asses. Everybody knows there is nothing between my idiot brother and you. In fact everyone you know _knows_ you don't have anything going on with anyone. Ever. I know this is hard Bella, maybe you should just..."

"NO," I said firmly, cutting her off before she could finish her statement. "Alice you know I am not going to do that, so just drop it, please."

"Okay, I'm sorry. Bella, you need a life."

"I have a life, thank you very much, Alice."

Sighing, I wondered if maybe she was right. One thing was for sure, I was going to shut up one Mr. Edward Cullen tonight, once and for all.

"Bella, you have that look in your eye... You are going to do something reckless aren't you?"

Grinning at Alice, I replied, "Yep, and it will be fun. Want to watch?"

"Oh Lord, you know I always have your back, Bella."

Pushing my rolling chair back away from my desk and standing, I pushed the chair back in and walked to the door, locking my office after Alice and I entered the hallway. Smirking at Alice, I began formulating my plan to aggravate Edward and have a little fun for myself.

Scanning the crowded bar and stopping to say hello to some regular customers, I used the time to gather confidence to move forward with my plan. I watched my staff work the bar; the girls hustling drinks and flirting shamelessly, giving the customers exactly what they had come to expect from a night in my club.

I watched as Tanya and Rose danced together, grinding as they poured a couple Long Island Iced Teas, and making it a real show. They raised the bottles high above their heads, lowering them as they shimmied their hips toward the floor. They shook their asses, rubbing against one another as they made their way back to a standing position, then grabbed the next bottle and repeated the action. Five shots and a seductive squeeze of the trigger to add a squirt of mix later, they rolled from their positions, back to back, and faced the bar, offering the drinks to the now, open-jawed boys.

Plucking the twenty dollar bills from each of their hands, Tanya winked and said, "Keep the change, right boys?"

The two gawking boys, unable to respond, nodded in agreement. I couldn't help but laugh as Rose and Tanya high fived and winked before moving on to the next customers.

A moment later, Lauren walked by with a full tray in her arm, held high above her head, and asked if I want a shot. I nodded in agreement and continue mingling until Lauren returned with a shot for Alice and I and we quickly threw them back. Then, my liquid courage led me toward the bar and my plan.

I spotted the two bachelor party attendees that were waging bets earlier and approached them, giving them the chance to request my assistance.

"Hello guys, are you all having a good time now?" I asked, smiling.

"Oh yeah, this club is great. The groom is having the time of his life," they eagerly replied, each trying to be the first to speak.

"I'm glad he is having fun, is there anything I can do to make his bachelor party more...memorable?" I asked, running my fingers up and down his arm.

Eyes wide, they both stammered over their words, "Uh, yeah, umm, maybe, could, do you think that um..."

"Spit it out now, boys." I giggled as they tried to ask for what they never thought they would get to see. Alice covered her mouth, trying to stifle her own laugh, and nodded her head in the direction of the bar. I looked back and noticed that Edward was watching us over the strawberry blonde's head.

"Will you give him a body shot?" the taller one finally spit out.

"Well, now, I don't usually give or get body shots. I don't know..." I eyed Alice, and she pushed the groom towards me.

"Oh, come on now, Bella, make the boys night. He's about to end his chances of ever having his mouth on another woman again, let him do a body shot off of you." Alice said, fueling the scene.

Looking at the nervous and excited groom, I smiled. "Well handsome, is that what you want for you bachelor party? You want to suck a shot out of my navel?" Winking at him, I watched him shift uncomfortably.

"Absofuckinglutely, gorgeous." He answered his confidence retuning.

"Well, alrighty then, let's get this show on the road, handsome." I laugh as the boys all gawked and pushed him toward the bar behind Alice and me.

"Edward is watching you like a hawk," Alice whispered, giggling, in my ear as I climbed up on the bar stool.

"Pfft, good. It serves him right. I'll teach him to act like he has a claim over me," I muttered under my breath.

"Emmett, mind helping out over here?" I called, winking.

Emmett raised his brow, questioning me. He knew better than anyone that I didn't do body shots.

I nodded and turned my back to the bar, hoisting myself up. Emmett came toward the bar, and Mike looked up from the other end, watching. Rose grabbed a bottle of tequila and looked to me skeptically. Damn, I really was that predictable... I made eye contact with Edward just before I swung my legs up onto the bar, and then leaned back on my elbows.

Edward left the strawberry blond in shock, walking closer to the crowd gathering at the bar to watch. He glared at me, but I ignored him and lay back, crooking my finger at the groom. "Come here hot stuff."

I raised my top up to just below my bra, and pushed my jeans down lower on my hips, just above the pelvic bone. My heart was racing, and I could feel my breath catching in my throat. My breasts heaved slightly in anticipation, and I wondered what the hell was I thinking, since I really didn't want this jackass' mouth on me.

Damn it, I had let this situation get the best of me. I let myself be annoyed when I should have just ignored it. I couldn't care less about what anyone thought about a nonexistent relationship between myself and Edward Cullen, really. It actually benefited me, kept guys from hitting on me. But it was too late to back out now.

"Oh man, she wants it bad, look at her." I could hear the groom's friends egging him on and commenting on my anatomy.

"Cop a feel, man; make her beg for it...she's all yours dude."

"Look at those tits, man! Oh damn, I want some of that action."

I heard Emmett begin to growl lightly from the other side of the bar and shook my head at him. Mike was inching closer, looking like he was going to kill someone. But I got myself into this, and I was just going to have to get myself through it.

I felt his hot breath blow across my exposed skin as he knelt up on the bar stool at my side. I could see his hands begin to reach towards me, and then heard a very familiar voice.

"You better keep your hands to yourself, dude," Edward growled through gritted teeth. He was right beside my head, watching me now, his eyes filled with anger.

The groom planted his hands on the bar and looked up at Edward, then to the growling Emmett, and finally back to me.

Grinning, he said, too low for the others to hear, "You'll be begging for more of me, sweetheart," as he lowered his face directly over my chest and looked from my face to my tits. Licking his lips and moaning, he lingered a moment before moving slightly, his tongue darting out and making contact with my hot skin just under the fabric of my tight top.

I gasped as I felt his tongue flicking against me, running too slowly down and across my chest. He took his time, licking and kissing his way to my navel as Rose began pouring the cold shot onto my skin. I shuddered at the contrasting sensations of the cold liquid and his hot wet, sloppy, tongue. He pushed his face into my stomach, forcing my back against the stiff bar top.

I could feel the eyes, all penetrating me, watching, cheering, begging for more of a show. The voices surrounding us pleaded for my increased participation. I knew I couldn't just lie there. No matter how much I wanted to run away, I had to put on the show. There would be plenty of time to beat myself up later for this stupid, stupid decision.

I raised my arms up and threaded my fingers through his hair. "If that's all you've got hot stuff, that bride of yours is going to be sorely disappointed." I winked at whoever was paying attention, and heard the renewed chortles throughout the now not-so-small crowd that was enjoying the show.

I saw Edward's eyes close tightly, and then lock on mine when they opened up again, his mouth tight, lips pursed.

Something about his reaction made me actually feel worse about what I was doing.

The groom's lips were kissing at my hip bones, his tongue darting out, collecting the liquid dripping down from my navel. Teeth grazed at my bone before his mouth began traveling across my abdomen, low, just against the pushed-down waistband of my jeans.

Rose was looking at me, her lip quivering and eyes watering as she blinked and quickly turned her head toward Emmett.

Emmett called out, "Okay, hurry it up now, this ain't no double feature, man."

The drunken groom moved toward my navel and his tongue swirled around the outside in circles, growing ever closer to the edge before finally dipping into the center and splashing the liquid, lapping at it. His entire face was buried into my stomach as he quickly bit and nipped at my skin before pulling slowly up and running his tongue one last time over the length of my exposed skin.

I heard clapping and screaming and cheering, telling me it was finally over. The customers were all yelling for more and calling out high ratings for the groom. My staff all stood quietly, watching me, looks of concern across their faces as I lay still against the bar.

Not a one of them had ever so much as seen me with a date, much less putting on a show of public displays.

The cocky groom slowly climbed off of me, fist pumping the air.

I closed my eyes a second, squeezing them tight, trying to erase the look of hurt and anger on Edward's face.

Suddenly, a pair of strong hands pressed against my hips, holding me down to the bar. A voice, gruff and filled with lust growled out to me, "Stay where you are beautiful."

My mind suddenly a fog, I heard the voice tell Rose to pour another shot.

My head shot to Emmett, my eyes opening as he growled lowly at the hands pinning my hips to the bar and he stepped closer.

My head snapped back in the direction of the man, who, now, somehow faster than humanly possible, was hovering over my body on top of the bar. I looked up and into the man's eyes, then gasped loudly.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mike moving closer in response to Emmett's looking for back up. The eyes steeled against mine shot a menacing look at Emmett, threatening him with one intense look and a growl from low in his chest.

The familiar thump of music that normally permeates the club had all but faded, and the crowd gathered around, that had been boisterously watching a drunk groom bid farewell to his days as a bachelor, had grown quiet.

All eyes were on me and the body hovering over me; the man who was growling at my bouncers. I nodded to Rose, and she stepped forward to pour the shot, then back again, allowing Emmett to step closer, pushing her safely behind him.

The piercing eyes darkened and looked directly into Emmett's. I could see from the look on his face that Emmett was terrified.

I'm sure that Emmett expected me to be scared as well, but while my stomach was flipping over, it wasn't due to fear. My own eyes, like the ones of the man above me, were surely darkening with arousal at the feel of his body rubbing slightly against my core as he straddled me. My knees unwillingly rubbed together at the sensation that spread through my body.

Emmett finally found his voice and yelled out, "Hey, you can't do that!", and moved closer, reaching to grab the arm pinning me down.

The man's head snapped at Emmett again, and his growls became louder and deeper. Emmett backed off slightly before taking a hesitant step forward, eyeing me.

I shook my head no, so Emmett stopped and stood still, pleading with his eyes.

The breath making its way over my stomach now, so much sweeter and cooler than the drunk groom that just violated my midsection, was extracting the strongest reaction from every fiber of my body. His tongue was sparking electricity with its every flick and touch.

My breathing labored and sharp, I could feel myself panting under his ministrations. My eyes caught Edward's, who stared in disbelief and fury as he backed away slightly, still glaring.

The tongue flicked against the underside of my breasts, his breath blowing across the trail he left behind with his moist tongue. He then placed sweet, soft, tender little kisses against my hips and stomach before biting down hard.

I gasped out in pleasure, unable to control my responses, my legs rubbing together, moisture spreading between them, whether I wanted it to or not.

All the noises of the bar, which I have come to be able to identify in my deepest sleep, faded to black, and I heard only silence over the faintest lingering of the music playing far off in the background.

Everyone in the club, knowing that what was happening was no mere body shot, stared with gaping mouths, but I barely even acknowledged this in the back of my swirling, overloaded mind.

Taking his time, he very slowly slid his tongue across my chest, pushing my bra up with his nose, his tongue skillfully flattening out against the underside of my breast.

Exhaling sharply, I moaned in pleasure, trying to buck my hips into the hands holding me down. I could feel the chuckle leave his mouth against my skin at my obvious enjoyment as he worked his way across my body with his mouth.

His thumbs began to rub circles into my hip bones as my hands moved up to his head, my fingers threading into his hair; pulling, tugging.

My hands guided his head lower rather than push him away. I heard Rose and Corin gasp, and vaguely heard Alice telling Edward to calm down.

Squeezing my knees together tight, I began rocking my hips up against his body as he straddled mine. He murmured against my stomach and started flicking his tongue in and out of my navel, picking up the pace as he goes.

I heard the groans and moans escaping my lips as his tongue and fingers worked magic over my body. I was like putty in his hands, unable or unwilling to stop him now.

His mouth made its way back up toward my breasts, and, slowly, he lifted his head slightly and looked into my eyes. I knew the black orbs I saw, filled with lust, matched my own.

We stared into each other's eyes for a long, quiet moment, my chest heaving as I tried to calm myself down

Finally, he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine; kissing me with all the passion I had ever felt.

Emmett grabbed his arm and tried to pull him off of me, but he pushed back hard, making Emmett stumble backwards. Mike and Emmett moved forward to grab him together, both screaming now for him to get off of me. I felt Emmett's hand circle the arm holding me, and heard the deep, terrifying growl from the chest so close to mine.

"STOP!" I yell out across the silent bar. "He is my husband."

Author's note: Wow, I guess I have spent more time in clubs and bars, doing shots than I ever realized. LOL. Yes, this is the second story from me that sets up in a bar. Trust me, this is a very different tale.

A huge thanks to SweetT129 for her awesome beta skills. She kicks my ass on my complete failure to stay in the past. I guess it's a place I don't like to spend a lot of time LOL. *Ass smacks T* ((she secretly loves that shit))

I hope you enjoy and love it as much as you did Only at Night, which, ironically, first posted one year ago TODAY.


	2. Bars and Wars Chapter 2

Chapter two Bars and Wars

"He's your what?" I heard the shock and hurt in exclamations from every direction of the bar. Rose and Corin, stared at me, eyes wide.

Emmett whispered accusingly to Rose, "Did you know?"

The stunned silence was broken with Edward's laughter, slowly going from a quiet chuckle, to a maniacal roar. "Since when Alice? How long has she been married?" he seethed through gritted teeth.

"Since before we met her, Edward," Alice's soft whisper traveled across the quiet bar.

I was too lost in my husband's eyes and the feel of his arms to fully grasp the shock and disbelief of my friends. I was too shocked myself, at the moment, to register much of anything. I had a lot of explaining to do, to a lot of people, starting with my husband.

_Eight Years Earlier_

"I don't know why I have to move in with him, why can't I just stay here? I don't mind being alone."

"Bella, now we have been through this. He is your father and he wants to know you better. I can't keep you from him any longer; it isn't fair to him or you. Besides, it is no fun around here for you, I'm gone too much with Phil's games, and I hate leaving you alone. 16 is entirely too young to be left alone all the time."

My mother explained this, for the tenth time, as we drove from Phoenix to Seattle where we planned to meet my father, Charlie, for the big exchange. Charlie Swan, Chief of Police, Forks Washington, population, too few to count; and I was to be stuck there in his little world until graduation at the earliest.

It wasn't bad enough that I had to leave my friends and the sun of Phoenix, but I had to move to the wettest place in the country mid-way through my junior year. Like I had any chance of making any friends at that stage in the game.

I wanted to be able to fit in, but I was worried; these kids had all been in school together since kindergarten and, here I was, the new kid and the Police Chief's daughter. It was hard enough to be the daughter of the one guy in town that no teenager ever wanted to run into, but to do it at mid semester, half way through high school, was just the icing on the cake. How was I going to fit into their established circle? I had no idea, and even fewer hopes that it was going to go well.

If that wasn't stressful enough, how did they expect me to just live with this man that I barely knew? Sure, he was my father, but I hadn't lived with him since I was four. I didn't even remember it. Since then, I had visited Charlie for one week each summer. Half of those times, we took vacation, so we weren't even in Forks. Once, when I was 8, we went to the Grand Canyon, camping. When I was 10, I was allowed to fly by myself from Phoenix to LA, and he took me to Disneyland. Most years, we went to some cabin by a lake somewhere and fished. Charlie never talked much, and that was fine with me. He would fish, and I would sit in the boat and read. None of these experiences were really preparation for living with someone.

We almost always ate in restaurants, unless we were camping. If we were camping he would make these elaborate dinners, where he would grill steaks and this potato concoction with onions and peppers all cut up together in olive oil, wrapped in aluminum foil over the open fire. He would make huge breakfasts of eggs and bacon and hash browns and pancakes, all over the open fire. I never did understand that. At home, though, it was cereal or yogurt for breakfast, and dinner out. I don't think I ever once saw him turn the oven on. Occasionally he would use a burner to heat up canned vegetables or boil a hot dog to death.

Cooking was definitely going to be my responsibility, then, or I would end up being not only the new kid, with no friends, but obese as well, long before senior year.

I always knew that he loved me, and I loved him, he just never had any idea what to do with a little girl. He called faithfully once a week to check in, and there was always a birthday and Christmas gift arriving days before the actual event. That was the extent of his experience raising a child. It was terrifying to think about what his expectations of a 16 year old were going to be. I could see him babying me because he never had the chance to. Worse yet, he might think of me as built in maid service. I guessed I just had no idea what to expect.

"Mom, tell me more about dad. What is he like in his everyday life?" Nervously, I picked at my already raw cuticles, watched the floor boards or absently stared out the window while she drove.

"Well, Bella, I don't really know him very well either. We were only 18 when we got married, 19 when we had you, and I was 23 when you and I left. He is a good man though, Bella. He is, or well, always was anyway, a homebody. He was never one to want to go do anything. He went to work, came home, turned on the television and played with you, or held you. We never really did anything, but then again, we were 18 and broke, and then 19 with a little baby, and broke." Renee laughed at some memory she wouldn't share.

We drove in silence for a little while, Renee, laughed quietly to herself and shook her head every once in awhile as she reminisced. Finally, she turned her head to look at me for a couple minutes.

"Mom, eyes on the road," I laughed, trying to get her focus off of me.

"It's just, Bella, now that I think about it, Charlie is like you, or, you are like Charlie. A lot like Charlie, actually. That house will sure be quiet, but you will both be happy." Renee went back to looking out the front window with a solemn smile, and I sat back, closed my eyes and tried to remember every detail I could about my father.

I felt okay with the decision to relocate to Forks by the time we finally hit Seattle, and was excited by the time we pulled up at the restaurant to meet him.

The three of us sat down to eat in a booth, Renee sat across from us and Charlie slid in next to me. I felt trapped in the booth while Mom spewed on and on about my curfew and chores, expectations, and not to let me get away with certain things. The whole time, Charlie sat and nodded. I swear he smirked a couple times when he hid his mouth with the napkin. Mom was too oblivious to notice the smirks, or that Charlie never actually agreed to anything she said. In fact, he barely spoke, and I chuckled at the thought that we were so much alike because we both had lived with her.

I knew things were going to be fine ten minutes into the drive in Charlie's cruiser. The city was disappearing behind us, and the rain splashed against the windshield as the wipers erased it. I felt a whole lot like the rain at that time. It was as though the wipers were tossing aside my old life as I drove towards my new one.

Charlie glanced at me and said, "So, all that stuff your mother was rambling on about..."

"Yeah dad?"

"Those are her rules. I think we should set our own boundaries in our house, sound OK?"

"Sounds great, Dad." Yeah, things would be just fine.

"Bella, I am gone a lot at strange times because of work; I am going to have to trust you to do the right thing. I have a whole town to police, I don't want to have to police your curfew and whether or not you did your homework or made your bed. I think you are old enough to handle that yourself. Just please, always let me know if you won't be home or when to expect you, and I will do the same. Just a quick call or a text so neither of us worries."

"Sure Dad. Oh, and Dad, I will take care of the groceries and cooking, okay? I am not eating out every night." I turned toward him and gave him a mock glare.

"Oh Bells, that would be great. I'll clean and handle laundry," Charlie laughed. "I will give you a debit card for groceries and gas and other stuff you will need, just don't go crazy."

"Gas?"

"You can drive my old pickup truck. I rarely use it, and I have the cruiser."

"Thanks Dad."

"Oh, and Bella?"

"Yeah, Dad?"

"Don't make me regret trusting you, or your mother's rules will look like a day in the park, okay?"

I laughed, "No problem, Dad."

Living with Charlie was great. We both stuck to our end of the deal and did our own thing. In the evenings, after we ate, we would hang out together in the living room. He would watch sports or a TV series we both liked, I would watch with him, finish homework or read. Neither of us needed to fill every moment of silence with benign chatter. We quickly established our own silent communication system that worked for us. Things fell into place rather nicely.

School was a bit more of a challenge. The first day was mostly awful. The mean girls were ready and waiting for me, the new arrival, the Police Chief's daughter.

They stared when I parked the beat up old truck that everyone in town knew as Charlie's. It was almost as bad as being in the cruiser, but hey, I didn't have to walk. They whispered to each other as I walked past them. I heard the snickers as I passed them in the hallways. The school was so small that at least two of them were in every class I had. I knew them by sight before lunch time the first day.

That first morning, though, quite a few people introduced themselves to me and were nice. Two guys in particular, were eager to show me around and tell me about the school.

That was, until lunch time. The first day at lunch, the mean girls were all camped out in what I later learned was the "in crowd's" table. Everyone who was not part of the group avoided it like the plague or clawed their way to get there, performing ridiculous favors at the queen bee's behest.

The moment I walked into the cafeteria, all eyes were on me. I felt like I was on display. Heads nodded toward me, the kids in the nerd squad all stared open jawed, waiting to see where I would try to sit. Partly hoping I would be the one to break the lines and venture over to "the" table, partly hoping I would not. Even the burnouts took time out of studying the ceiling tiles or their shoestrings long enough to see what I would do. The entire table watched, the girls crossing their arms over their ample chests or, if standing, rested their hands on their hips, challenging me. The two guys that had been nice this morning hung their heads in shame. Clearly they had been chastised for their eager acceptance of the new girl before she was blessed by the head cheerleader, the queen bee.

One guy at the table simply turned his dirty blond, overgrown curls in my direction and flashed a genuine smile and shook his head imperceptibly to anyone other than me.

I grabbed a yogurt and an apple from the line and went outside, alone. At least it wasn't raining at the time. I ate my apple and yogurt in silence, reading over my class list and the homework assignments until it was time to go inside. Little did I know, until the bell rang, that the doors locked when you exited. I was panicked.

"Psst, over here." I looked up and saw the blond curls smirking at me from a doorway half way down the brick wall.

I walked over and smiled, "Thank you."

"Not a problem, Deputy," he said, smirking, as he held the door open for me, then disappeared as soon as I was through it.

The looks on the pair of attitudes that were in my next class were enough to kill. They gaped as I walked in, and sent silent deadly daggers through the rest of the room. Apparently, I was not to be let back in on time for class.

I took the remaining seat in the front row just as the teacher walked in. I sat and silently worshiped the blond curls while the teacher went on and on about safe lab techniques to be employed when we began dissection the following week. I had done that the year before, so I was glad for the opportunity to think while he spoke.

Curls was in my last two classes, and he shot me a smirk when he walked in on the first class and passed by my desk to go hang out in the back with the guys. The girl next to me leaned over, whispered and said, "Yeah, nobody is good enough for him, not even Lauren herself, the self-titled queen of Forks High."

I turned toward her and smiled. At last, someone normal.

"Hi, I'm Angela. Sorry about what happened at lunch." She looked ashamed.

"Bella, and don't worry about it. It was worth it to see the look on their faces when I made it to class on time."

Angela giggled, and the teacher called for attention. Only two of the not-so-highly ranking members of the unwelcoming squad were in this class, and they spent more time trying to impress Curls and the other guys than bothering to worry about me.

The last class of the day was gym.

Coed.

Seriously.

I knew I was screwed. I had next-to-zero skill in anything related to gym except for dance. Renee had made me take dance from the time I was 4. I think she knew I was a klutz even then, and did what she could to teach me some coordination. I never complained; I loved to dance, just not usually in front of anyone. Blast some music in my bedroom and I was all over it though.

Class started with running laps on the outdoor track. Curls held the door while the class filtered out to the track. I lagged behind, dreading the run and my terrible form. I was stuck with both the queen herself as well as her first attendant in this class, and no Angela.

As I walked through the door, Curls said quietly, "Don't get yourself locked out this time, but I'll be here, just in case."

I laughed and felt better, even though he didn't say another word to me the entire class.

Days went by, and things got weirder. The queen and her court kept up their silent, cold shoulder, declare Bella a hazard zone, routine. Curls kept coming, just as silently, to my rescue. It had become a ritual; he would counter whatever evil plan they hatched, but kept it to himself. I would just as quietly thank him, and keep it to myself. At class and during lunch, he would just watch me out of the corner of his eye. The only time he openly stared was when everyone else did too. It was different though, his stares were not the seething, why are you intruding, stay away, stares that the others shot at me. His stares were friendly, consoling, warm, like he could sense how I was feeling and he gave just what I needed back with just the smallest look. I came to rely on those little glances just to get through the day.

It had become clear that Curls was just as much a leader in the school as the queen was. It was also clear that the queen pretended not to be interested in Curls as more than a minion, but the way she looked at him while he ran the track, the way she gravitated close to him all the time when the group walked the halls, the fact that her chair was almost always next to his... It was beyond obvious that she wanted him to want her, that she wouldn't settle for less. It was just as obvious, though, that he didn't.

He actually kept pretty much to himself, even in the middle of the "in crowd". People just seemed to gravitate to him; the guys all looked to him for his opinions, though it seemed he rarely gave them. He was quarterback on the football team, pitcher on the baseball team and point guard on the basketball team. He was faster than anyone else on the track, and I had a feeling he was probably pulling straight A's in the class room, but I doubt he'd admit it, or that anyone else would notice how smart he was.

I had pretty well figured out everyone else by mid-week, but, Curls, he was an enigma. I just couldn't get a read on him. He was all around good at everything, everyone looked up to him, but yet he kept helping me. I caught him laughing with one of the math nerds and rubbing the top of his head like a big brother as they were coming out of the office one day. There was no one else around, and neither of them saw me. The other guy just lit up at the attention, and it clearly wasn't the first time.

So, I wondered, who was this guy that everyone liked, that nobody seemed to have a problem with, that hung around with the queen and her court, yet looked after the outcasts?

My first Friday night, I planned to spend alone at home, watching a movie. Charlie was working late. He came home for dinner, and then headed back out to the station. It seemed that, since there wasn't a whole lot to do in town, there was always a fight or two at one of the bars, and some of the teenagers routinely caused trouble on the weekends.

I had just cleaned up the kitchen from dinner and was cuing up the DVD when the door bell rang. I had no idea who would be at the door. I sighed and hung the dish towel over the bar on the stove and walked to the door. Opening it, I found none other than Curls standing there grinning with a bag under his arm.

"Um, Hi?" I half asked, half said, completely confused.

"Hi yourself. Are you going to let me in Deputy Swan?" He laughed.

"Uh, yeah, OK, sure, come on in." I stood back and held the door open for him to pass me by."

"It seems I am usually the one holding the doors for you. About time you took a turn."

"Very funny, Curls."

"Curls?"

"Yeah, Curls!" It was my turn to smirk.

"Alright, Curls it is, Deputy. But you know my name is Jasper, right?"

"Kind of hard not to, all I hear all day long is "Oh Jasper, he is soo this and soo that, blah, blah, blah."

He laughed so hard I thought he was going to fall over.

"Bella, you exaggerate. Besides, all I have heard all week is Bella, Bella, Bella..."

"Yeah, but I am quite sure nothing that followed was good."

"Do you really care what a bunch of spoiled little brats have to say? If so, maybe I was wrong about you and I should just go." He turned to face me, barely an inch left between us, his chest rising and falling right before my mouth and chin. Dang, he was tall. My eyes landed right at his neck. I could see the movement up and down his throat as he spoke; I slowly backed up as he moved forward until my back was against the door I had just closed. His hand came up to my chin, and he lifted my face so that I was looking up at him.

His green eyes bored into mine and the intensity and spark in them overwhelmed me. His tongue ran across his lips and settled inside his mouth again as one side curled into a small smirk.

"No, I really couldn't care less what her majesty and court say. In fact, the less they like me the better. If you want to leave, leave. I don't recall inviting you in the first place." I stood my ground and didn't budge. His hand still held my chin; I felt his thumb trace a circle along my jaw line.

"I'd rather stay. That is, if I am welcome." He didn't move, didn't back up, his hand remained on my chin as I stared up into his eyes.

"Then stay. Are you hungry?" I wanted him to stay. I liked that he saw right through their crap, I just wondered whether it was genuine. I was hopeful that it wasn't some juvenile 'let's make a joke out of the new kid' plan, or some bet or dare that brought him to Charlie's house.

"I am a growing boy, I'm always hungry," he said, as he dropped his hand from my chin and handed me the bag of snack foods, backing up as he did.

"There is enough crap here for a party, what were you thinking?" I laughed as I looked inside; microwave popcorn, potato chips, Tostitos, cheese dip, and assorted kinds of candy.

"I didn't know what you liked, so I brought a variety," he shrugged and took the bag back and headed for the living room, "so, we watching a movie or what?" He asked looking at the paused image for Columbia Pictures on the television screen.

"That was my plan, is that OK?" I sat on the floor next to the remote I had left there earlier.

"What movie?" He raised an eyebrow, expecting me, I was sure, to rattle off a chick flick title.

"Black Hawk Down," I deadpanned.

"You like war movies?" He grinned as he plopped down on the couch.

"Yeah, I hate chick flicks. But if you'd rather, we could go rent Legally Blonde for you." I smirked at him and hit play without waiting for a response. He just shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"It is going to be kind of hard to share popcorn with you sitting all the way over there on the floor and me on the couch," he patted the space next to him on the couch, "I won't bite, just friends, OK?"

"Fine." I got up and sat a safe distance away on the couch and opened the popcorn. The previews started playing and I turned to look at Jasper. "Jasper?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you here? I mean, I'm sure there's a party or something tonight with your friends." I looked down at the couch and the popcorn bag.

"Did you have other plans, Bella?" he stared at the television while he asked.

"No, this was it." I turned back to the screen.

"That's why I am here, friend." He reached over and grabbed a handful of popcorn. He threw a piece at me before stuffing his mouth with the entire handful.

"Thank you." I picked the popcorn out of my hair and threw it back at him. He caught it with his mouth.

"Now, shush, the movie is starting." Jasper grinned as he stared at the screen, popping corn into his mouth, like a typical guy, by the fistful.

Jasper stayed, we watched the movie and ate way too much junk food. In all honesty, he ate most of it. I offered him one of Charlie's beers, but he refused it, saying he didn't need a beer to enjoy the company. We watched the movie, and found ourselves talking after it was over. He told me about some of the "in crowd" at school and how he fell in with them back in grade school, mostly because of sports. He didn't really consider very many of them his friends, just kids from school that hung around. I teased him about Lauren's obvious affection, and he laughed it off. He said something about how, if he wanted a bitchy Barbie doll, there were plenty much hotter to choose from out there somewhere.

By the time he left, I felt like I had known him forever. I liked him, my new friend, my only friend. I just couldn't help but wonder what would happen at school on Monday. Would he continue to play the silent role, or would he "come out" and openly be my friend?

* * *

Thank you for the wonderful comments and warm welcome back. I was absolutely floored. Hope you enjoy.


	3. Bars and Wars Chapter 3

Bars and Wars  
Chapter three

On Monday morning, all I heard about around the halls was Friday night's party. It seemed half the class was grounded afterwards for staying out past curfew. As it turned out, Charlie had to make an appearance, and I had my classmates to thank for his absence at home and not interrupting the movie with Curls. I laughed to myself, thinking what queen bee would think if she ever knew that.

I overheard a couple of the queen's court commenting on Jasper's absence and the wild rumors that ran the gambit. One source claimed he had been sick, another that he had had a hot date with a college girl. My favorite was that he was there, and Lauren had him locked in a bedroom, but nobody was allowed to know.

The one thing I wasn't prepared for was what Jasper did at lunch. I walked into the cafeteria, got in line, and picked up a salad and an apple. I wasn't paying much attention to anyone, knowing I was just going to take my lunch and find a place to hide and eat it.

That was until all eyes were on me.

I heard the words before I saw him.

"Hi, Bella, did you have a good weekend?" Jasper smiled, holding a tray full of food in the line behind me.

It was a simple enough question. Normally, I just would have answered politely and went about my business. But at the sound of my name loudly escaping those perfect lips, the cafeteria went silent; all eyes were suddenly on the two of us. There was an audible gasp coming from "the" table and I was at a loss for words.

I looked up at him; he smiled, nodded and gave me a little wink of reassurance.

Finally finding my words, I replied, "Yes, watched a movie with a very good friend Friday night, thanks. Did you enjoy your weekend?"

Jasper chuckled, "Yep, it was a great movie and an even better friend. Lunch?" He gestured to "the" table and waited for me to start walking.

I watched as the two eager guys from the week before quickly moved their lunches and made room for two in between them.

Lauren's face dropped, but she quickly recovered it. I wondered if it was the first time anyone had ever done that to her; blatantly disregarded her authority like that?

We were about to find out who really ruled this school, and, from the looks of it, Jasper did.

He set his tray down on the table and pulled the chair out for me. Lauren and her court watched, her court shifting glances between Jasper and I and Lauren.

"Hey everyone. This is Bella; she'll be joining us from now on," he declared, then pushed my chair in behind me and sat down.

Several of the crowd said hello. Jasper looked at Lauren and tilted his head slightly.

"Hi Bella, welcome to Forks. I think you are in some of my classes, right?" Lauren apparently had conceded. It was clear, even to her, that she had lost, and going against Jasper was a risk she wasn't willing to take.

Once she granted her coerced approval, the rest of her court fell in line and followed suit.

The entire conversation was, "Oh Bella, you are in my class too," and "So, Bella, why didn't you come to the party Friday?" and "Bella, we have to hang out."

I never even got a chance to talk to Jasper; the questions and comments kept flying the entire lunch period. When the first bell rang, Jasper pushed back from the table and said, "See you in class, Bella," and we all got up and walked off to our respective classes.

Lauren talked to me the entire way to class, and, when we arrived, insisted I sit next to her, displacing one of her court.

I couldn't wait to get him alone to find out what he had been thinking.

Second to last class, Jasper was standing in the hall talking when I arrived. He smiled and excused himself from the conversation, then walked to meet me. Whispering, he leaned over and asked, "How did your next class go?"

"Why?"

"Why what, Bella?" Jasper smirked, shaking curls out of his eyes.

"Why did you stick me with her? Why did you risk her being an even bigger bitch to me?"

"You are my friend Bella, and I don't care what anyone else thinks of that. If she had said anything, we would have gotten up and left, together. Besides, I really thought it would make her stop her crap."

"Well, you should have asked me first." I shrugged, but I was still aggravated.

"You're right, I should have, but it all worked out. So, are you going to forgive me so we can go hang out after school?"

"Fine. Where are we hanging out?" I scoffed and asked as we walked into the classroom.

"Figured you could use a tour of the town, places to avoid, and stuff like that." Jasper held the door as I walked through, and he led me to the back of the room to a couple empty seats.

Jasper kept his word and after school he showed me all around town. He pointed out the hangouts and the places where the stoners hung out. He tipped me off about all the Chief of Police's hideouts and traps, which I actually found more useful than most would.

There was a big game on Friday night. Jasper asked me to come and watch and go to the party afterwards with the group. I was worried about being alone at the game while he played. Turned out, I had nothing to worry about. I couldn't get a minute alone if I tried.

Lauren and court were busy on the floor cheering, the guys were all playing or on the bench. I was busy holding off members of every different clique in the school all trying to get me to sit with them. Where were all these people the week before when no one would speak to me? I avoided them all and kept making excuses until finally Angela came in with her boyfriend Eric.

"Hi Bella, mind if I sit with you?" Angela asked as she kissed Eric and wished him luck in the game.

"Thanks, I felt like the wolves had descended! Suddenly I am the shiny new toy everyone wants to play with."

Angela laughed, and then introduced me to Eric, who apologized on behalf of the entire student body of Forks High and then returned to his team.

"Are you guys coming to the party after the game?"

"Yeah, Jasper actually asked us to come. We don't usually attend the parties, but he insisted. He said you were going."

Huh, Jasper made sure the one other real friend I had made would be there. That was, actually really sweet. I didn't know how to respond so I just said, "Oh."

The guys won, and the party was a celebration. I had absolutely no clue whether they were any good, but Jasper was excited, so I was happy for him. It seemed that they won most of their games.

The party was fun; it was just like any party I had been to in Phoenix with my friends. The only difference was the people were different. Jasper gave me shit and teased me for knowing nothing about sports. Angela and I danced a little. I hung back and watched Lauren and her followers reign supreme and flirt with all the guys. By the end of the night, most of them had coupled off.

I noticed that Lauren hadn't hooked up with anyone and kept flirting with Jasper. He would laugh at her ridiculous humor, but never gave her any hope to cling to. He sent a pretty clear message; he wasn't interested.

Angela and Eric were ready to leave, and I was tired. I went to find Jasper to tell him that they had offered me a ride home and to say goodnight. When I found him, he had his jacket on and was holding my jacket out for me to slip my arms into. He drove me home, and we made plans to work on our history report the next afternoon. He walked me to the door and said, "Later Deputy," then smiled and left.

That night, I dreamt of blond curls. It was so bizarre. We were five years old and best friends playing in a sandbox.

I woke the next morning shaking my head and laughing.

Curls came by and we ended up working on our history project the entire day, then started in on the rest of our homework. We studied well together; we were both focused and eager to finish. Neither of us were really the dillydallying type when it came to our school work - we both wanted it done so we could move on to other things.

Things began to fall into a nice pattern in Forks. Charlie gave me plenty of space, but we still spent time together. Curls was over all the time, either studying or hanging out. He and Charlie would sit around and watch sports, screaming and yelling at the television, and I would cook for the three of us.

At school, the cliques began toning it down some. People still pretty much kept to their original circles, but nobody was quite as intimidated by "the" table now that they knew queen bee Lauren took second chair to "Most likely to..." Jasper.

There was a lot more open conversation, and while Lauren was still the ruling femme in the land, she realized she had to tone down the mean girl act if she wanted to keep her throne.

Angela and I became a staple fixture in the stands and on the sidelines as I went to every one of Jasper's sporting events and cheered him and the school on right beside her as she cheered for Eric. We became very good friends and she, too, learned to tolerate the queen and her court to some extent. Most of them were actually pretty nice once you got to know them and when they weren't in "mean girl mode."

Jasper and I had taken to hanging out all the time. We went to the parties together, we studied together, we went out in a group with everyone else, but we always came and went together, and sat together. We would finish each other's sentences. I would tell a joke, and Jasper would be the only one at the table to laugh. We would get into philosophical debates, and everyone else would stare at us until we stopped. He would buy chocolate and I would buy peanut butter. It seemed like everything we did, we did together or it somehow complimented what the other did.

We talked about everything, told each other things we never told anyone before. Jasper told me how he felt about growing up with parents in the military, about moving when he was little. He told me how terrified he was of disappointing his parents, but how little their dreams for his life matched his own. I told him about the ways Renee and Charlie being divorced affected me.

Since I came to live with Charlie, contact with Renee got shorter and shorter and less frequent all the time. It hurt me. It was like she gave me away and moved on with her life. Jasper was the only one that knew I felt that way. He would just hold me and rub my back when I would call and reach her voicemail or when a week would go by and she wouldn't return my calls.

Everyone just referred to us as Jasella, like we were one person instead of two distinct individuals. It got to the point that if I wasn't at home, I was at Jasper's. The only time we weren't together was when Charlie would kick him out at night or his Mom would suggest it was time that he drove me home. Even when he was at practice or a game, I would be there watching, so that didn't really count as apart.

Charlie came home one day while Jasper and I were studying. Well, actually arguing over Ottoman Empire facts. He shook his head, laughed and said, "You two have the weirdest relationship for a couple of high school flames that I have ever seen."

"DAD!" I was mortified. What was Jasper going to think? "We are friends dad, and that is all." I couldn't help noticing that Jasper scoffed a bit, and looked away.

"Well, whatever, kids, but I have four tickets to the Mariner's game," Charlie proudly held up the four tickets and waved them at Jasper.

Jasper's eyes opened wide and he grinned, "Really Chief, you are going to take me?" he asked in surprise.

"Of course, I am taking you, you are the son I never had, my sports watching buddy. This one only watches because you are here." Charlie nodded towards me and I felt the blood pooling in my cheeks, and the heat rising to my head.

Curls remained quiet the rest of the day and left before dinner for the first time in two and a half months. It was the first awkward goodbye we ever had. I wanted to kill Charlie.

There were a couple of strained days when we wouldn't talk about it. Then the dreams started. I kept dreaming about Jasper and myself. One dream we were white water rafting and the boat overturned and we kept getting carried away from each other by the raging current. No matter how hard we tried, we couldn't get back to the same side of the river. In another dream we were at a parade and kept getting separated by the massive floats and couldn't get back to the same side of the street.

In reality, things were the same as ever, but there was something hanging there between us, that neither of us would bring up. I didn't think anyone else had noticed until Angela asked me if something was wrong.

I finally told her the whole story and she just smiled and said, "I'm sure it will all work out, Bella."

Yeah, easy for her to say. My best friend probably thought I wanted him to be my boyfriend, and was so repulsed by the idea he couldn't talk to me about it. There hadn't been a thing yet that we couldn't talk about. I was more upset about the strain on our friendship than I have ever been about anything.

Then, the dreams began to change. I saw those loose blond curls everywhere. They haunted me, the way they fell in front of the piercing green eyes, they way the shook when he laughed, the way they hung when they were wet.

I kept fighting it, but even then, I knew. I was attracted to Curls.

The Mariner's game came and went. We had a blast. Charlie brought his friend Sue and the four of us went out for burgers before the game. The Mariners won in extra innings. Jasper and Charlie screamed so loudly that Sue and I had to cover our ears. When they hit the tie-breaking run, Jasper picked me up and spun me around in a circle. The awkward stumbling around each other was gone, a thing of the past, it seemed.

It was the next couple weeks that I think really started to change things. The end of the school year was nearing, and there was a school dance scheduled.

Everyone was busy pairing off at the parties, preparing to have a date available for the big dance. Ben hinted a couple times about going with a real date, but I ignored him. I just wasn't really interested.

Two weeks before the dance, everyone at lunch was talking about going, and where the after party would be held, and who would go with whom. Ben made another awkward attempt to ask, but not ask, me to go to the dance with him in front of everyone. I laughed him off. I noticed Jasper look at me, but he said nothing.

That evening, as we sat doing homework, Jasper was fidgeting. Jasper didn't fidget, so I knew that something was bothering him.

I stopped and put down my pen and just looked at him. "What Curls?"

"I was just wondering something, Bella," he said without making eye contact.

"What would that be, Curls?" I smirked.

"Bella, did you, um, did you agree to go to the dance with anyone?" Jasper looked up, and then immediately back down again.

"Oh, um, no, I...I thought we would just go together. I'm sorry, if you..., if you asked someone I don't have to go or I can go with whoever isn't going with a date. It isn't a big deal, Jasper, ok?" I stammered on endlessly, it seemed.

"Well, I haven't asked anyone, but I kind of want to. There is someone I want to go with as a real date," Jasper smiled at me.

"Smiling back I said, "You should Jasper, if there is someone you want to ask as a date, you should ask her."

"You really think so?" he asked.

"Yes, Curls, I really think so." The most unexplained churning in my stomach threatened to cause me to double over as though I had been kicked. I tried to smile back at him, but I am sure I looked like a goof.

"Okay," Jasper's smile grew as my stomach turned at the thought of him with anyone. "Bella?"

My voice wavering, on the verge of tears, I looked at my best friend and said, "What?" trying to hold in the tears. I didn't want to lose time with my best friend if he started dating, as was inevitable, but it was more than that. I didn't want my best friend dating anyone else.

"Will you be my date for the dance?" he looked like he was going to be sick, and all at once, I realized he was nervous, and I, I was jealous of some fictitious girl I had concocted in my head.

That was the first time I acknowledged that those feelings I was having meant that I was interested in Curls as more than a friend. It apparently was a mutual feeling. I was a bit terrified and very excited all at once. I mean, Jasper and I as more than just best friends. I knew it would be great, but what if it wasn't? What if we didn't work as more than friends? That would be awful, but it would be nothing compared to how it would feel if it ruined our friendship.

A broad smile graced my cheeks, and I felt my stomach turning in excitement and nerves. "Yeah, Jasper, I mean, yes, yes I want to go as a real date."

The corners of Jasper's lips began turning up, slowly, into a slight smirk, which quickly turned into his characteristic brilliant smile.

"So what did you get for number 17?" Jasper asked, still smiling at me.

We laughed and finished our homework just before Charlie came home.

We were back to ourselves, laughing and joking and spending all our time together. Charlie said goodnight to Jasper as I walked him to the door. When I locked the door and turned around to check that the kitchen was completely cleaned up before bed, Charlie was right behind me.

"Let's talk, Bella." Charlie led me into the kitchen and sat down at his normal chair at the table and waited for me to sit.

I sat down asking, "What's up, Dad?"

"While you were doing the dishes, Jasper told me that he asked you to the dance as more than a friend, and he wanted my approval. I told him I had to discuss it with you first."

"Oh." I was mortified. Jasper asked my father to date me?

"Obviously it took you two longer than it took everyone else to realize how you felt about each other." Charlie kept his expression neutral and sat back and just watched me. When I didn't respond he asked, "Do you feel ready to have a boyfriend, Bella? To date?"

"Dad!"

"Bella, I'm sorry your mother has decided to become selfish. I know this would be easier to talk to her about, but I'm it kid. If you want to date Jasper, you are old enough to do that. I just hope you two will take your time and not rush into anything more serious than either of you can handle."

"Dad, this is so embarrassing, please! Mom had the "talk" with me a long time ago." I could feel my cheeks heating up with embarrassment.

"Yeah, well, her version is probably a whole lot different than mine."

"Oh my God, Dad, please!"

"Well, it's simple, you are a smart young woman, Jasper is a smart young man. You have promising futures. Disease and children you aren't ready for won't side track those futures. Not if you use your heads. I won't make the mistake of waiting to discuss this. I am not about to set rules I didn't follow myself, that you will only ignore anyway. So it is simple. No unprotected sex, ever. If I have to supply condoms myself, I will. Second, go see your doctor, decide what birth control is right for you and get on it and follow the instructions. Do not do anything until the doctor says it's ok. I'll pay for it. Third, if you or Jasper have any questions, you either talk to me, or if you need, I am sure Sue would be happy to, or you talk to the doctor. Fourth, unless you really, and I mean really need to tell me, I don't want to know."

"Dad, for crying out loud, it is a dance, what are you thinking?"

"Bella, I don't think it will happen in the next ten minutes, the point I am making is you be prepared. Hell, I'd prefer it didn't happen at all, but eventually it will and it would be irresponsible of me not to make sure you are prepared." Charlie sat there, in his normal dinner chair, discussing my future sex life as though he had done this a hundred times.

"Fine dad, but can we please not have this conversation again?"

"Fine with me, you just share the rules with your boyfriend."

"Dad!" Charlie chuckled and pushed his chair back, scraping against the floor. The noise ended the conversation, and I sat a couple minutes after he went up to bed.

There was absolutely no way I was discussing this with Jasper.

We never said anything to anyone about going to the dance together. As far as anyone at school knew, nothing had changed. Actually, nothing had changed. We were going to the dance together, but had no plans for a date before that, or after that, for that matter.

We actually spent less time together than usual, because I had to shop for a dress and shoes and get my hair done and only about a million other things.

Finally, it was the day before the dance. Jasper was over and we were studying. I had taken a break to start something for dinner and was standing at the counter reaching up into the cabinets for a mixing bowl. I'm not really sure what happened. I had a firm grip on the bowl when I pulled it from the shelf, but the next thing I knew, it was slipping from my fingers and I was trying to grab it. I lost my balance and began falling backwards. One arm reached out trying to maintain a grip on the slipping bowl, the other arm grabbed for the counter to keep myself upright. I fell backwards, and landed hard against Jasper's chest. His arms underneath mine, catching me, while he juggled the plate successfully to the counter.

I felt the gasp of breath finally expel from my chest. My full weight was against Jasper, his arms closing around my waist, holding me tightly to his chest. I heard the deep intake of breath near my ear, felt his nose skim the upper shell. I could feel the heat of his breath along the sliver of exposed skin just behind my ear. I felt his hands slide along my waist.

My breaths came faster and harder as my hands wrapped around his arms, holding me to him. There was the oddest tightening in my stomach. I tried to right myself to stand, but strong arms pulled me back into the hard chest and held me there.

"Please, don't move, not yet." Jasper's voice was deep and gravelly.

His fingers ran along the exposed skin between my tee shirt and jeans and my hands tightened around his arms.

My breath hitched as I felt his lips skim my neck.

"Jasper!" I barely made the word out in a whisper.

"I want to kiss you so badly, Bella."

OH God! This was it; this was going to be our first kiss. My mind spun with emotion.

"Then kiss me, Jasper."


	4. Bars and Wars Chapter 4

Bars and Wars  
Chapter four

I turned my head towards the lips ghosting over my neck; the hands around my waist turned my body into his. We both took hard, shallow breaths. My tongue traced my lips, wetting them, in anticipation. I nervously looked up into those curl-obstructed green eyes. They were glazed over, deep in thought or some emotion I didn't recognize. I thought I knew every one of Jasper's looks, but this one unnerved me. This look I had not seen before.

He swept the hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ear, tossing it over my shoulder. His fingers traced my outer ear and down my neck, the tips stopping to rest at the hollow of my throat.

I swallowed hard; his fingertips felt so hot against my skin. My hands still firmly held onto his arms, thumbs tracing little circles into his defined biceps. I had never realized how muscular his arms were before that moment. I was so nervous. What if it was terrible? What if he tasted weird? What if he choked me with his tongue? What if he thought I was a bad kisser? What if he compared me to someone else?

My throat and lips were so dry, I could feel my tongue darting out again to moisten them. Jasper smiled as he watched my tongue, his eyes changed slightly; they darkened, if that was even possible. They now looked a deep jade. Against the pink of his tongue that swept across his lips and the fair skin of his cheeks, it was striking. In that moment, I didn't think I would ever forget the way he looked just then. Nor would I forget the way I felt. My stomach clenched, my heart raced, and a million different things spun through my mind in a blur. All I wanted was for Jasper to kiss me, and yet, I had never been more terrified of anything in my life.

His fingers moved up my throat to my chin. He lifted my face so that I was again looking into his eyes. His other arm pulled me to him by my waist as he took a step closer, backing me into the kitchen counter. Once I was wedged between him and the counter, he chuckled, and his hand slid up the side of my body, his fingers lightly touching over my shirt. When his hand reached my arm, he took my hand from his bicep and laid it over his shoulder. I felt his hand rest at the back of my neck, his thumb rubbing small circles just behind my ear.

With his one hand supporting my neck, his other tilted my head back slightly by my chin and I felt him move closer to me, our bodies now completely touching. I could feel the outline of his chest against mine, my breasts smashed against him. I could feel his hips against my lower abs pushing me harder against the counter. His feet, were on either side of mine, his long legs against my shorter ones.

"Are you sure Bella?" he asked, his voice still ragged, and uneven, but so very beautiful to my ears.

I nodded slightly, and said, "Yes, I want to kiss you too Jasper, I am sure."

Jasper smiled and his face came closer to mine, so slowly.

I smelled the sweetness of his breath as he lightly exhaled before closing the distance. My heart thumped in my chest and my tongue swept across my lips one more time before his lips grazed against mine. Our lips had barely touched, when I felt the surge course through my entire body. I wanted that kiss more than I had ever wanted anything.

At the feel of his lips against mine, I let out the breath I hadn't realized I had been holding. Our lips seemed to fit together perfectly as they began to move in sync, pressing more firmly against each other. Jasper kissed in little, gentle, sweet pecks against my eager mouth while his hand threaded through my hair, his other hand holding me tightly against his chest.

I kissed back in the same gentle, sweet manner, just enjoying the taste of him, the exhilaration that ran through my entire small frame. Jasper Whitlock was kissing me, in my kitchen, and I was kissing him back. My life could not have been more perfect, I thought.

We stood there kissing for several long minutes without stopping. Finally, Jasper pulled back, looking into my eyes as they opened. His eyes looked so hungry, so fully consuming. He must have seen the same thing in mine.

"My God, Bella." His forehead came to rest against mine.

"Yeah, WOW!" was all that I could manage to say. My arms wrapped tighter around him and I lifted my lips to kiss the tip of his nose. He laughed and pulled my head against his shoulder in a mock head lock and kissed the top of my head.

I pulled back and grinned at him, "Now what?" I asked.

"Well, I vote for doing that again." He smirked, and pulled me back against him stepping closer still as his hands went around my waist and he lifted me onto the counter and stepped between my legs, his hands on my thighs. He leaned in and grinned before pressing his lips to mine again, firmer this time.

My arms wrapped around his back, under his arms, holding him close as my mouth responded to his, kissing less gently than before, more needy.

I felt his tongue peeking out between his lips ghosting against mine, seeking permission, entry, into my now warm, anxious mouth. My lips opened of their own volition, wanting more of him, eager to deepen the kiss, the connection.

The feel of his tongue exploring my parted lips, not yet entering my mouth, teasing, was enough to drive me mad at the time. My tongue, uncertain, timid even, flicked against my lips, meeting his. They made contact and grazed against each other, tasted, explored, playfully teased. Our tongues, each refusing to leave the other, began a sort of tango, and wrapped around themselves slowly.

The strangest sensation rose in my stomach. This wasn't my first kiss, yet it was my first kiss with Jasper. Curls. Green Eyes. It was unlike any other kiss before it. I felt it down to my toes, to the ends of each strand of hair. I knew right then that this was no ordinary kiss. This was no ordinary boy. This was no short lived summer fling. I felt this kiss in my very soul and I just knew he did too. I never wanted this kiss to end.

Jasper deepened the kiss, pulling me closer to the end of the counter. My legs wrapped around his waist almost instinctively. His hands slid up my thighs and around my hips to the back of my ass, holding me tighter against him, against his waist. My hands threaded through his curls at the base of his neck.

We each held the other to ourselves, not wanting to let go. Our mouths, not relenting, explored. My heart felt like it would jump out of my chest. I could feel his heart pound just as hard and smiled against his mouth.

Tongues began to slow in their passionate tango, and our lips melded together not separating. I pulled back only slightly before Jasper pulled me back to him, tighter and started again kissing, rougher this time, not nearly so sweet. I felt like I was being consumed, my soul; my very essence was being coupled with his in that kiss.

Our hands began slowly exploring each other's backs; desperate, almost, to be closer, although that wasn't even possible. We existed in the same space at that point, one body beginning to writhe against itself.

"Fuck!" I heard Jasper mumble into my mouth.

He pulled back, panting, his eyes wild.

"We have to stop Bella. We have to stop before we can't."

I nodded, "I know Jasper, Jesus, I know." I said thickly, groaning the words out.

"Bella, I never, never had a kiss like that; not ever," he was still gasping for breath.

"Humf, Neither have I Jasper. My God, I don't even know what that was." My breath and the words came out in pants; our hands still trailed over each other.

Jasper grinned this evil, sexy grin, "Bella, I'm never going to want to stop kissing you, you know that right?"

"Good. I don't plan on stopping you from kissing me Jasper, not ever. Not if every time is going to be like that." I tried not to giggle.

"Well, we are just going to have to do it again and be sure it is the same every time," Jasper chuckled, as he rubbed my back.

I heard the unmistakable sound of Charlie's cruiser pulling into the gravel drive out front. "Well that is just going to have to wait. Charlie just pulled up."

"Shit!" Jasper jumped, lifted me down from the counter and quickly backed to the table and returned to his seat. The look on his face, pure terror and mixed with desire and longing, was priceless. I adjusted my shirt and laughed as I sat back down in front of my books.

"Shit!" I exclaimed, "Dinner." We had gotten so wrapped up in making out that I never started dinner. I jumped back up and rushed to the refrigerator just as Charlie walked through the front door.

"Hi kids," he called out as he hung his gun belt at the door and secured his sidearm, just as he did every night when he came home. Charlie walked into the kitchen and looked from me stumbling in the refrigerator, face buried, to Jasper sitting at the table frantically writing something, not looking up and calling out, "Hi Chief Swan."

"Sorry Dad, we lost track of time, I didn't get dinner started." I knew my face was red. I felt the heat on my cheeks.

"Unh huh, sure. That's okay Bella, let's go out for dinner." I saw that Charlie was trying not to laugh as he walked out of the kitchen and back to the door putting his gun belt back on and holstering his weapon.

Jasper looked up at me and we both bit our lips. He looked a little green and wouldn't touch me as we walked out to the car. Charlie was already behind the wheel of the cruiser leaving Jasper no choice but to climb into the back seat as I got into the passenger side. Charlie kept looking into the rear view mirror eyeing Jasper. I was mortified.

"So, the big dance is tomorrow night, huh kids?" Like he didn't full well know that.

"Yes Dad, you already know that." I rolled my eyes, annoyed that he was being weird.

"And what are you two doing after the dance?" Charlie's eyes were fixed on Jasper's in the rear view mirror.

"DAD!"

"What I mean is, where is the after party?" Charlie chuckled, his point made clear.

"Chief Swan, we are going to go to dinner after the dance, just Bella and myself, if that is OK with you. Then we will meet up with the others at Tyler Crowley's parents' house, and yes, they will be home." Jasper kept his eyes fixed on the mirror and I was proud of him.

I was proud that he looked Charlie in the eye, well, in the eye in the mirror. I was also surprised to hear we were going to dinner alone together. It obviously wasn't the first time we would go out for dinner just the two of us. We had done it plenty of times when Charlie worked late or we went to Port Angeles. We never went out for dinner alone together on a date though. I sat and wondered whether it would be different and decided that I would do my best not to let it be different. That it was still after all, just Jasper and I, nothing new.

Then, I was excited that we were going to dinner just us. We would be dressed up, so it wouldn't be fast food or even the diner. It was going to be like a real date. I was so excited suddenly.

I spent the next day primping and getting ready for the dance, making sure everything was perfect. I even bought and wore a very sexy bra and panty set, even though Jasper would most definitely not be seeing it; I wanted to feel sexy and beautiful.

Jasper picked me up in his Mom's car. I was shocked when I saw the black Mercedes pull up. He said something about the Chariot befitting a princess, and I giggled. Charlie took an insane number of pictures, which drove me crazy, but I knew I would be glad I had them later, so I didn't complain. Neither did Jasper; he just took advantage of the opportunity to wrap his arm around my waist and stand with our bodies completely touching in front of Charlie. I swear he even had a cocky grin in half the pictures.

When we walked into the dance together, nobody even blinked. We were always together anyway, so nobody even seemed to realize that this was actually our first "date" as more than best friends. That became obvious when Lauren approached us and put her arm around my shoulder and said, "Couldn't find a real date huh, Bella?" Then she turned to Jasper and pretended to adjust his tie and then ran her finger down his chest until Jasper caught it by the wrist and said, "Lauren, there isn't a snowball's chance in hell, why don't you stop making a fool of yourself."

Lauren was still standing there, slack jawed, when Jasper took my hand and led me to the dance floor. We were both laughing by the time we stopped in the middle and began to dance. "I'm sorry Bella, she is clearly delusional."

"It's OK Jasper, nobody here realizes that we have moved from best friends to, well, I don't know, what are we, dating?"

"Is that all you think it is Bella?" Jasper spun me out away from his body and pulled me back into his chest hard. I stopped against his chest with enough force to elicit a gasp from my lungs.

"Jasper, after that kiss yesterday, I seriously hope not. I hope it is much more than that to you." I spun back away from him and turned back into him, not as hard this time.

"Good, Girlfriend!"

I smiled, "Boyfriend."

Then he gently lifted my chin and, right in front of the entire school, leaned down and kissed me on the lips. It wasn't a long kiss; it wasn't a repeat of the previous day. It was shorter and less heated, and there was definitely no tongue involved. I still felt it all the way to my curled toes though. I felt ridiculous when I realized my foot kicked up behind me and I was on the toes of my remaining leg.

"Still, just wow!" Jasper chuckled as he leaned back to stand straight.

I giggled and replied, "Yeah, wow."

I heard Angela giggling and Eric chortling a few feet away from us. I looked up and saw half of our classmates staring in stunned silence. Lauren's mouth was wide open and she looked like she was going to kill someone. I hoped it wasn't me.

"Well, the cat's out of the bag now." Jasper tightened his hold around me and his hand slid lower down my back, stopping just at the small of my back, his fingers just barely making contact with the top of the curve of my ass.

I giggled and buried my face in his chest.

The rest of the night was simply perfect. We danced together and with our group, Jasper took a turn dancing with Angela and me with Eric. He politely declined all other advances, and I grinned.

Dinner was amazing; we went to the nicest restaurant just outside of town and talked nonstop through the entire meal. At some points, I nearly forgot that it was my boyfriend sitting across from me. It was just Jasper, my best friend.

The after-party was interesting. Angela and Eric showed up about the same time we did. It seemed not very many couples went to dinner, most of them just went straight from the dance to the Crowleys, or from the dance to the place people parked to make out and whatever, and then to the Crowleys.

I wouldn't let go of Jasper's hand; the vultures were circling, all wanting to know how long this had been going on and why didn't we tell anyone and if we were exclusive. I could only imagine the questions I'd be getting if we weren't standing right together.

The party was really just an extension of the dance. The Crowley's had moved furniture out of the room to create a dance floor, and there was a giant food spread. It was actually fun, and we had a blast just dancing some more.

By the time we left and Jasper pulled up in front of my house, Charlie's cruiser was in the drive, and the porch light was still on. Jasper had just put the car in park and turned slightly towards me when the porch light suddenly flicked off.

Jasper chuckled and I shook my head, embarrassed.

"Charlie's alright," was all Jasper said before leaning over and kissing me. I was wrong. This kiss wasn't like the first kiss or even the second or third kiss. Those kisses had been wow; this kiss, though, this kiss was Oh My Fucking God WOW!

We couldn't get enough of each other, we were roaming each other's backs with our hands, pulling and massaging. I felt Jasper's hands traveling from my waist up my sides, his fingers skimming the sides of my breasts. I moaned at the sensation and heard Jasper groan. He was leaning over me, tightly against my side, pulling me closer, as close as he could in the confines of the front seat of his mother's Mercedes. I turned my body, angling it more towards him without breaking the kiss. His hips pressed into me and I pushed myself harder into his body, suddenly I realized my hip bone was firmly pressed against a certain growing, hardening appendage.

I gasped, and Jasper chuckled, "Sorry, Bella, I can't help what kissing you does to me."

I bit my lip and then asked, "Really? Just kissing me?"

"Well, actually, looking at you, thinking about you, hearing your voice... But yeah, the kissing, that really gets to him," he smirked.

I knew the feeling, his voice alone made parts of me I never knew existed quiver. If the kissing did that, damn, I couldn't wait to find out how other things felt.

"Don't worry Bella, we won't do anything unless and until we are both ready. This is only our first date after all."

"Yeah, and unless we want Charlie thinking there is more going on in this car than there is, I should probably go in. He does have a loaded gun you know."

Jasper laughed and said, "Yeah, so do I, I think we just established that fact."

I tried not to laugh and to act outraged, smacking him in the chest, "Jasper Whitlock!"

He kissed me lightly once more and then pulled away, got out of the car, opened my car door and walked me to the house, kissing me chastely goodnight before opening the door for me, holding it as I walked through and closing it behind me as he whispered, "Night, girlfriend."

I whispered back, "Night boyfriend."

The last two weeks of school flew by. I heard nothing but Jasper and Bella the first two days after the dance, and quite a few "it is about time" comments. Angela simply hugged me and whispered in my ear, "I am so happy for you both." Lauren, on the other hand, was mysteriously sick for a couple days. When she returned to school, she didn't say one word about the dance and pretended like Jasper and I had been together forever and we had had her blessing for ages.

I had to get a summer job to start saving money for college, and Jasper got one too. It drastically cut down on how much free time we had, but when we weren't working, we were usually together. We hung out with Angela and Eric a lot; and Jasper would train and lift with some of his teammates and I would hang out with Angela and the girls from school. We actually had better balance than we had had during the school year.

Jasper always made sure we had date nights though, where we would spend time just the two of us. We would do silly date things like bowling and going to the movies or miniature golfing. And we kissed. A lot.

We had a video game war for three straight weeks at Jasper's house. One night, just a week before school resumed, we were playing our standard Play Station Star Wars battle, and I was kicking Jasper's butt. His parents came in to say goodnight - they were going to Seattle for dinner and a play and spending the night. His mom laughed when she came in and saw me yelling at the television screen, "Take that Jedi Jasper, and that, yaw!"

She shook her head and sighed, and said something very similar to what Charlie had said months ago. "You two have the strangest relationship. I guess I don't have to worry about you two behaving tonight. Just be sure you take Bella home before curfew. Charlie knows we are going to be away, if you need anything Jasper." She kissed his cheek and hugged me as Mr. Whitlock laughed and waved at both of us as we barely paused the battle to say goodbye.

We battled for awhile longer, and I managed to beat Jasper; my light saber cutting through his body, collapsing him on the ground before he disappeared from the screen. I jumped up and down, screaming and laughing, and jumped onto his back, crashing us both down to the floor.

Jasper was laughing at me and claiming he let me win, which I, of course, knew better. Then he rolled me over and straddled my hips, tickling me until I was screaming, begging him to stop before I peed. He stopped and looked down at me, still shaking in laughter. I looked up at him, and as we both began to simmer down, I saw it.

That look. That look in his eyes. The same one as that day in my kitchen; his eyes growing darker, so intense.

"Bella, do you think we have a strange relationship?" He remained sitting on top of me, straddling my hips.

"No, I think we have a perfect relationship." I reached up and pulled him by his shirt so that he was lying on top of me and began kissing him.

He pulled back; "Perfect?" he smirked.

"Well, I know something that could make it even more perfect." I bit my lip, worried what Jasper would think when I told him I wanted more.

"Oh?" he went back to placing little kisses along my jaw.

"Uh huh," I nodded as my hands went to the hem of his tee shirt and began pulling at it.

"Bella? What are you doing?" Jasper's eyes were the darkest green I had ever seen them, the hunger behind them seared through me as he waited, staring into my eyes, his hands already caressing my breasts through my shirt and bra.

"I am ready to go further if you are, Jasper." Up to this point, we had slowly progressed from just really intense making out to Jasper playing with my breasts both over and under my shirt and bra, to my rubbing against his erection through his jeans with my hand or leg, and his basically dry humping my leg and hip. He had been rubbing his hand and leg and knee against me through my jeans, shorts and even through my panties for weeks now. I wanted to slip my hand down his pants and actually touch him. I wanted his hand under my panties. I was tired of going home with soaking wet panties and trying to hide that in the laundry from Charlie.

I wasn't sure how far we would go, or how quickly, I just knew I wanted more, and wanted to give Jasper more.

"Fuck, Bella are you sure?" He sucked at my neck and worked his way around toward the back, biting gently as he went, groaning out the words into my ear, "I want to so badly."

"Yes, Curls, I want you to touch me, and I want to touch you, please?" My hands were still busy trying to pull his shirt up his torso.

Jasper stopped kissing my neck; he sat up, still straddling my hips and placed his hands over mine on his shirt. He helped me pull it up and off over his head and tossed it on the floor. He took my hand and arms and placed them on the floor raised over my head. His hands went to my shirt, his fingers very slowly unbuttoning the buttons, one by one. The tips of his fingers just barely sliding across the newly exposed skin as he made his way lower and lower toward the bottom of the shirt.

He unbuttoned the last button and pushed the material to each side and just stared for a minute.

"You are so beautiful Bella."

I felt the blush rise on my cheeks and across the top of my chest. Something I thought he had never seen before.

"God, I love making you blush, the way the top of your breasts turn that luscious pink." His hands traced over the flesh above my bra line as if he were tracing the reddening skin. "You have no idea how long I have wanted to do that." I guess he had noticed the embarrassing extent of my blushing before.

His hands moved over the cups of my bra massaging slowly as he worked his way to the front clasp and deftly unhooked it. The cups remained in place while his finger ran up and down the skin now accessible through the gap. He moaned in time with me as I responded to the feel of his skin against mine. Then he carefully pushed the cups of my bra away, freeing my breasts, my nipples already embarrassingly hard and standing at attention for him.

I felt him squirm a little as he looked down at my chest, readjusting himself against my hips. "So perfect," he said clearly as his fingers came down, lightly rolling over the nipples, and then circling them. He watched his hands working my breasts as I watched his face. Strong hands began kneading and massaging the swell of each one as his thumbs seemed to independently rub the nipples, pushing on them every so often.

I felt the moisture beginning to spread against the fabric of my panties and my legs rubbing tighter together. His hips rocked back slightly stilling my movements, "Slow down, beautiful, I fully intend to enjoy every inch of you first."

I gasped. "Oh God Jasper!" I was panting already.

"Jesus, Bella, I have barely touched you...yet. I want to taste those sweet tits Bella, may I?"

"Yes," I panted, breathless in anticipation. I began to move my arms, wanting to reach for him.

He smirked and took both hands by my wrists in one of his and pulled them back over my head as he leaned over me, looked into my eyes and said, "No, it's my turn now." Holding my hands in place gently, his tongue swept across my right nipple and I heard him groan. His other hand began massaging as his tongue circled and circled before he pulled the nipple completely into his mouth and sucked.

I swear I saw stars, my back tried to arch off the ground but he pushed me back down, sucking harder. His legs straightening out as he laid fully on top of me, his legs dangling, one between mine the other over my left leg. His one hand moving to my other breast as he sucked and nibbled at the first, taking more of it into his amazing mouth.

After what seemed like ages in pure bliss he switched sides, letting go of my arms, using both hands now on my breasts as his mouth repeated its actions on the other side. My hands roaming his back, lightly rubbing up and down my fingers playing with the curls at the base of his neck.

I felt his hand leave the breast occupied with his tongue and teeth and begin skating down my body to the waist of my jeans; God how I wanted that. I could feel his fingers trying to snake under the material too snug to fit. His fingers moved the button through the hole and I felt the zipper pulling down.

Jasper stopped, pulled my breast from his mouth with a popping noise and sat up, watching me while his hands finished unzipping my jeans. He pushed them down a little ways and slid his hand under my panties, slowly making its way over my mound to the wet slit. He licked his lips and shuddered a bit, "Oh fuck, Bella, you want this, don't you?"

"Yes Jasper, yes I do, I want you to touch me." I was shocked at how my voice sounded, so low, so rough.

"Like this? Is this how you want me to touch you?" His fingers spread my lips wide and ran the length of my slit over and over so slowly.

"Oh damn, Jasper, that feels... oh yes, just like that Jasper, just like that, please, don't stop."

"Oh I have no intention of stopping, Bella, this might be better than kissing you, watching you writhe of the floor under me, seeing how much I affect you, the same way you do me. You are so wet for me, are you always this wet for me Bella? Do you have any idea how hard I am for you right now Bella? How hard I always am around you, that's nothing compared to the aching for you right now."

"Oh Jasper, you have no idea what you do to me." He pushed my legs further apart with his knee.

"Oh I do now, Girlfriend. You are dripping wet." His fingers continued running my length as his thumb started rubbing circles against my clit. The only person ever to do that before was me, and holy hell did it feel different having someone else do it.

I growled out incoherently at the sensations just as Jasper slid a finger inside me, and the growls turned to moaning, panting, breathless responses to the feeling of his finger gently sliding in and out against me.

Suddenly, Jasper stopped, pulled his hand out of my pants and sat up, looking at me.

"What?" I looked at him, worried.

"Shush." The next thing I knew, he was picking me up, cradling me in his arms and carrying me to his bedroom. He gently placed me on the bed and began pulling my jeans off from the bottom. I lifted my hips and he slid them off, over each foot. He stood and looked down at me, licking his lips. I was laying there in nothing but my panties; he was still wearing his jeans. He had never seen me like this before, sure in a bikini at the beach or the pool, but never topless in just tiny little panties, and never sprawled out for him on his bed.

He crawled up the bed on either side of my legs and whispered in my ear, "I want to taste you Bella, I want to taste that sweet juice between your legs, I want to lick your pussy and dip my tongue inside you, I want to hear you moan and yell my name while I do it to you. I have fantasized about it for so long. Please Bella, please may I taste you, make you feel better than you have ever felt before? Please?" he sucked my earlobe into his mouth and I could hardly wait to feel his mouth doing that lower.

"Yes Jasper, yes, god yes, please, I want that so bad, I have fantasized about it to." My nails scratched along his back as he slid down by body watching me the entire time. Our eyes locked, both so eager, so ready for this. He pulled my panties down my hips and over my legs taking them from my feet and he stuffed them in his back pocket. "Mine."

His hands ran up and down the top of my thighs and back up the insides, gently pushing my legs apart and bending my knees, opening me to him.

My hands in his hair, playing with the curls as his face disappeared between my legs, lightly licking and biting at my thighs before finally I felt his tongue run along my slit.

"Oh God damn Bella, it is better than I ever dreamed, you taste so fucking good baby."

I moaned at his words as his tongue vibrated against my core. He moved slowly at first lapping at me, licking, then his tongue began to dart faster against my clit while his fingers moved in to spread my lips apart to the point that it almost hurt. Almost, but it didn't. The feel of his tongue flicking against my clit, his thumb circling my entrance, I was starting to shake, when he backed off, sliding his finger inside me again, pumping it slowly as he kissed at my thighs and up to my hip bones.

He looked up at me and smiled, my Jasper smile, his happy crazy smile. "Bella, you make me so fucking happy."

"You are making me pretty damn happy right now, Jasper," I moaned as his fingers curled up into me.

"Bella, how far do you want this to go? I'll stop whenever you say, but I want you, I want to make love to you so badly, Bella." He just kept his eyes on mine as he smiled and kept his fingers moving inside me, driving me mad.

"Jasper, I don't want to stop. I don't want you to stop at all, I want to feel you inside me, I want you to make love to me. I want you to be my first."

Jasper withdrew his fingers and lay down on his side facing me. I turned toward him and smiled.

"Bella, I wish so badly that you were my first. It was summer camp before you moved here, I didn't even like her, and it was pretty awful. She was throwing herself at me every day for two weeks, the guys were teasing me about being a virgin, finally I just did it to do it and say I had done it. She was obviously a lot more experienced, and had apparently been breaking in the new guys for the past three years. I was so disgusted afterwards I couldn't wait to leave camp. Honestly, I have been thinking about it a lot lately, and wish so bad that I could take it back and give it to you. I love you Bella, I wish I could give you the same gift you are about to give me."

I heard every word he said, although one word was all that stuck in my mind. I wanted to give this to him more now than ever, and he had no idea why I was looking at him the way I was.

"What is it Bella, are you OK? That's it, I promise you, that was the only time, I think you know everything there is to know about me now, I was too scared to tell you that before, but you had to know before you made your final decision. If you want to back out, it's OK Bella, I'd understand."

I shook my head and looked into his eyes, "You love me?"

"What? Oh, I said that out loud, didn't I?" he laughed nervously, "Yes Bella, I have loved you for a long time now, since before that first kiss, before the dance and the dating started. Yes, I love you." He kissed my forehead.

Smiling, "I love you too Jasper, I think I always have."

"So, do you know what your father left in my car one day?" Jasper chuckled.

"No, what?" I began to put the pieces together and nearly yelled, covering my face with my hands, "He didn't!"

"OH yeah, I came out to the car one night in front of your house, after Charlie had been 'working on the cruiser', and found a brown bag on my passenger seat."

Jasper rolled off the bed and walked to his closet and came back with a brown bag and tossed it to me. Inside were, of course, boxes of condoms, and a note in Charlie's unmistakable chicken scratch, saying simply, "ALWAYS. EVERY SINGLE TIME"

"Oh my God, I am so sorry. Yeah, he sat me down and had a talk with me right after you asked him if it was OK to take me to the dance."

"Shit, that long ago? Bella that was months ago, we weren't even, well we..., ah, don't worry about it, at least we don't have to worry that he is going to shoot me. Oh, and Bella, I got tested after that summer camp incident, even though I used a condom. She was a skank, and I was terrified. Besides, I will honor Charlie's demand, not for Charlie, but for you. I care too much about you Bella to ever take chances with your safety."

"I know you do Jasper, why do you think I fell in love with you?"

"You mean it wasn't my looks? You sure stared enough." Jasper laughed and sat back down kissing my shoulder.

"I did not!" I feigned irritation and outrage.

"Yeah you did, but I only noticed because I was staring back. You are beautiful, you know."

I pulled him back down to me and began passionately kissing him. It wasn't long before my hands were pushing his opened jeans down his hips and legs. He stood and took them off along with the boxer-briefs he was wearing and just stood staring at my naked body strewn across his bed, glistening with arousal and perspiration and reeking with lust and desire for him.

"I want to finish what I started first," his gravelly voice rumbled low and he crawled between my legs again and dove straight in this time, his tongue frantically working across my clit and his hands holding me spread wide; his thumbs running the length of my stretched slit. I swear, it was embarrassing how fast it was before I was grabbing at the sheets and moaning and calling his name as my body shook and trembled, drenching the sheets under me. He wouldn't stop either, he kept at it until I screamed out, my body bucking against his face as his hands held me down and his fingers began pumping in and out of me so fast. My head was thrashing from side to side and I was biting against my lip, mortified at how loud I was and how completely out of control my body felt. Still he kept at it, and the tension cord in my stomach snapped and rolled through out my entire body. Before I even realized it, he had a condom on and was pressing his cock at my entrance, watching my face, grinning, begging, and waiting for me to say yes.

"Yes, god yes, Jasper, now, I want you inside me now." Then I felt it, I felt every tiny movement as he pushed his way in, oh fucking hell he was so much bigger than his fingers. It hurt, at first, but he moved slowly, waiting, giving me time to adjust.

"Bella, that is just the tip, are you sure? I don't want to stop, but I will if it hurts too much."

"Don't you dare stop!" I pulled at his hips, thinking slow might not be the best way, maybe like pulling a band aid off, fast and the pain was over. Then it would feel better. I bucked my hips up to him at the same time I pulled his hips to me and he slid in fast and hard all the way.

"Oh FUCK!" I screamed out but kept my hands firmly on his hips, holding him to me so he wouldn't pull out.

"Shit Bella, are you OK?"

"Yeah, just give me a minute to adjust." I squeezed my eyes tight and then tried to relax and remember that I wanted this. It would get better in a minute. All the people in the world having sex, raving about it couldn't have been wrong; it was just painful because it was the first time. Despite what Jasper told me, this was really like his first time too, I had to remember he didn't know what he was doing either; although his tongue sure seemed to.

"Bella, relax, beautiful, just relax and let me make you scream my name again. You know you want to."

That was all it took, his playful teasing and I was relaxed and the pain was gone. I smiled up at him and nodded, "I'm okay, it just took a second to adjust."

His hips began to rock against mine slowly, as he pulled nearly out and pushed back in. Within a few minutes we were in a rhythm rocking against each other, me kissing at his nipples. Hi back arching as he pumped into me. If I thought kissing him was good, yeah, this was ten times better. We were going to be in so much trouble.

"Oh shit, Bella, I'm sorry, I'm not going to last very long, it is too fucking good."

His words alone made my body start to tremble again and as I watched his face begin to contort and heard him panting and grunting I began to feel that coil snapping again, I pulled at his hair and began bucking my hips wildly into his as I screamed out again in such intense pleasure just as Jasper yelled out. "HOLY FUCK."

He collapsed against me and we didn't move for minutes, both of us completely exhausted.

"My God Bella; that was amazing, I can't even begin to tell you how good it felt being inside you. I was wrong, I never did that before."

"Jasper, I just found something else I don't ever want you to stop doing to me."

"Don't worry; I couldn't stop if I tried." We both lay against each other still panting.

"Hey Bella?"

"Yeah?" I whispered back, so content, so happy.

"What do you think Charlie will say when we ask him for another bag of condoms next week?"

* * *

Well, what did you think? I am dying for your reactions to this one, so please let me know. There is now a blog setup to go along with this story, it houses some pics and I will nowbe posting teasers there too and answering questions so please come and pay it a visit, let me know what you think. http:/trampvamp-barsandwars(dot)blogspot(dot)com/ replace the (dot) with the real things, you know the drill.

Thanks as always to my kick ass beta, Tara, SweetT, she keeps my tenses where they belong.


	5. Bars and Wars Chapter 5

Bars and Wars  
Chapter 5

Jasper and I did not need another bag the next week. It actually lasted longer than either of us expected it to. Not for lack of wanting, but summer was ending and the new school year starting. We both kept our jobs and worked at least two afternoons a week and Saturdays. That quickly put a damper on Friday nights and meant time away from each other on Saturdays and usually two or three week days. We managed to find some time for each other during the week when Jasper came over to study. Although, he was always so nervous that Charlie was going to come home and catch us, it was usually pretty quick. We knew Charlie thought we were anyway, but it was a whole different thing all together to have him walk in while we were.

Senior year was pretty intense, final college applications had to be submitted, everyone was stressing out about getting in to their first choice. Time was quickly passing. We hadn't even talked about it. We came home one day after school and there were a bunch of brochures and applications in the mail that I had sent away for. I opened them and poured them on the kitchen table.

"What is all this Bella? Jasper asked, laughing at the size of the pile.

"Oh, just school brochures I sent for. We need to make some decisions about college Jasper. I don't want to be away from you."

"What if I don't go to college?" Jasper looked down at the catalog he was flipping through.

"What? Why wouldn't you go to college Jasper? You are the smartest person I know." I was confused, why all the hard work to be top of the class and then not go to college. We had never had this conversation.

"Remember when I told you that my parents' dreams weren't really in line with mine Bella?" Jasper put the catalog down and started digging in his backpack.

"Yes, I remember, you parents want you to go to school and not follow in their footsteps. I don't understand how that…." Jasper handed me a folder from the United States Of America Army recruiting office.

I was stunned, in complete shock. How could I not have realized this was what he meant? He had talked about a military career, but I thought he meant after college, going in as an officer. Not instead of thought had never even occurred to me.

"Bella?"

"I, I don't understand Jasper, I thought you would go to college first." My voice was low and filled with worry, concern and pure horror.

"I'm sorry Bella, I kept trying to bring it up, but I didn't know how to. I love you, I don't want to be away from you, but I don't want to go to college, I want to join the Army. I have always wanted to join the Army, ever since I can remember." Jasper had a far-away look in his eyes.

"Jasper, I don't understand, I don't...what does this mean?" I asked, my voice, confused and terrified.

"Bella, I don't know, I don't know what to do. I have wanted this most of my life, but now, now I have you and I don't want to lose you, but I still want this too." Jasper said, his voice trailing off, his words cut through my heart. The room seemed to close in around me.

We sat at the table for what seemed like ages. I was stunned and silent, my mind racing around; how could this be a surprise to me? I knew everything there was to know about Jasper Hale Whitlock, how did I not know this?

The more I sat there thinking, the more I realized that I had known, I had always known, I just never wanted to admit it. I didn't want to admit it because it meant I was going to lose him, he would go, and I would stay, and we would drift apart; by the time he came home, it would be too late.

Jasper just sat there for the longest time. He stared at the pile of brochures and applications; he stared at the floor, anywhere but at me.

Finally Charlie came home and the three of us sat silently through dinner, and the minute it was over, Jasper left. Charlie asked if we had had a fight or something. I told him that we were both just stressed about college decisions and being separated.

Charlie was surprised to hear me say separated and tried his best to cheer me up. The next few weeks were awful, we had so little time together as it was, I had completed all of my college applications and sent them in and decided to just wait and see.

We were both miserable being away from each other even the little bit we were apart with work. I couldn't see how we could possibly go our separate ways in the fall. Then it hit me, Jasper didn't have to wait until the fall, he could leave anytime after graduation. I couldn't face that possibility.

It was Saturday night, Halloween weekend. We were supposed to go to a costume party. I dressed up as a sexy soldier and rented a hotel room in Port Angeles. We were not going to some stupid party. We needed time alone together without worrying about being interrupted. I planned to spring the news on him when Jasper picked me up. He arrived at the house in his costume, an army private. He took one look at me when I opened the door and tears filled his eyes. I was glad Charlie was not home.

"Bella, what, what is this?" he asked after we climbed into his car.

"Drive to Port Angeles Jasper, we are skipping the party."

"Oh, we are?" Jasper looked at me, confused, "Where in Port Angeles?"

"Holiday Inn."

Jasper's eyes bugged out of his head as I tried to keep a straight face.

"We are going to a hotel?"

"Yes, we need some privacy and some time to talk. Charlie thinks I am staying at Angela's because her parents are out of town."

"Okay, what's wrong Bella?"

"Just drive, we can talk when we get there." I turned up the radio and sat back against the seat, turned partly towards Jasper and I watched him drive, not really talking. He reached for my hand and I immediately took his. We drove, holding hands, not talking, me just watching him as he watched the road. His thumb ran gently up and down my palm, as he paid attention to the dark road ahead of us. Every song on the radio had some meaning to us. By the time we got to the hotel, I just wanted to be in his arms.

I handed Jasper the stack of bills to pay for the room and he checked us in while I waited in the car.

We walked, hand in hand, to the room without talking. Jasper unlocked the door and held it open for me. I walked in and looked at the King sized bed and was suddenly nervous.

Jasper locked the door behind us and walked to me, wrapping his arms around me, holding so tight.

"This isn't going to be good is it Bella?"

I began to cry. I tried so hard not to, but I just couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I tried to talk through the sniffling and tears. I tried to tell him how scared I was.

"Bella, I love you, please understand this is killing me. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be away from you, I don't want to lose you."

"When?" It was all I could get out. I needed to know when he was planning to leave.

"Basic training starts right after the fourth of July." He held me tighter against his chest, his voice was cracking and I knew he was crying too.

"How long?"

Jasper pulled away a little, still holding me, looking down into my tear filled eyes with his. "What do you mean how long?"

"Do you have to stay four years, or what?" I could wait four years; I would be done with school by then.

"Bella, I wasn't planning on coming out, this is it, this is the career. I thought you understood that."

"What?"

"Bella, this was never about going to serve my country for a couple years, this is what I want to do with my life."

"OH, well, then I guess that's different, I...I thought you'd be home in four years. I could have waited four years. So, come July it's goodbye for good?"

"It doesn't have to be Bella, but if that is what you want, I understand." Jasper dropped his arms and walked to the bed and sat on the end of it sighing.

Then I just got mad.

"What the fuck do you mean Jasper? Where is my choice in any of this? What do you mean it doesn't have to be? What choice do I have, you just said you are leaving and have no intention of coming back for me." The tears stopped and the anger replaced them. There was nothing left to talk about, I was a fool. How much could he love me if he was willing to just leave and never come back?

"I never said that Bella, if I had my way, you'd come with me, or you'd finish school and then come and join me. I don't want to lose you Bella, but I can't force the Army on you. You have your own dreams, your own ambitions. I won't make you choose mine, anymore than I am willing to give up my dreams. I just think there is a way we can have both, but you won't even talk to me about it."

"What do you mean I won't talk to you about it, you never even brought it up?" I was stunned, he wanted me to go with him, "and what do you mean go with, join you?"

"Bella, think of it like we are going to different schools, when you are done, you could move with me."

"Move where, Iraq? I don't fucking think so."

He laughed; the little asshole that was ruining my life, laughed.

"It isn't funny Jasper."

"Bella, I am not going to be in a war zone forever. Do you have any idea how many bases there are in the US alone?"

"No, I don't, and that is all if you fucking live through the first four years Jasper. What if something happens to you? What if, what if you..." I started crying again, I couldn't say it.

Jasper's arms went around me and he pulled me into his lap. "Bella, we don't even know if I will even get deployed to a war zone, I am not going into infantry you know."

"NO, I don't know, Jasper I don't understand any of this. You need to tell me everything. I need you to educate me; I don't understand any of this."

Jasper spent the next couple hours explaining everything the recruiter had told him. I found out that he was going to be going to school; it was just a different form of school. He wasn't going to be a soldier on the front lines. He was going in to train as Military Police. He planned to take every additional training course that was offered. He wanted to eventually guard Generals, Presidents.

"Jasper, why didn't you tell me all of this?" I actually felt better than I had since that day in the kitchen.

"Bella, you never gave me a chance, every time I tried to talk about it, to explain what I wanted, you cut me off. You said you weren't ready to talk about it. I was waiting for you to be ready."

He was right; I had been shutting him out. It was a classic defense mechanism on my part; I couldn't take being hurt so I just started pushing him away. Renee had really done a number on me when she all but abandoned me on Charlie's door step. I had learned to push away before being thrown away, and I had done that to Jasper. I had closed down on him and wouldn't listen. I recalled all the conversations he tried to start, the growing sense of isolation that he projected. I realized we hadn't made love in over a month and it was me, pushing him away.

"I'm sorry Jasper, I know I was pushing you away, I was just so hurt. I thought you were going to leave me and forget about me, just like Renee."

"Bella, the only way I will ever leave you is if you throw me out and tell me never to return." Jasper smiled the saddest excuse for a smile that I had ever seen.

"So, how would this work, how could we be together Jasper?" I really had no idea how any of this military stuff worked. It was all so confusing to me. All I could envision was him being gone and crawling through mud with a gun and me sitting home waiting for the worst moment of my life to ring the doorbell.

"Well, if you would be willing to accept the life, to live with me on an Army base, it would mean marrying me. It is possible for us to live off the base if you'd rather; I guess it would depend on where we ended up being stationed."

"Marrying you? Jasper, did you just say marrying you?"

Jasper laughed and pulled me to him, settling me into his lap, kissing my neck. "Yes Bella, I thought that was what we were talking about. Of course I want to marry you; I don't ever want to be away from you. Don't you want to marry me?"

"I...well...I, I just never really expected us to be saying those words at 18 Jasper, but yes, yes, I want to marry you. I love you. I can't imagine my life without you."

"Good, then you just need to decide if you can live the Army life."

"What about school for me, though, I want to go to school."

"Then go to school. It is four years Bella, we can wait four years, and if I get lucky I'll stay in the states and maybe even the same state you are in. I get leaves and you can come and see me on weekends. We will work it out." His hands rubbed at my shoulders as he spoke, the tension falling away.

"Well, OK, we'll both do our four years and then we go from there."

"Yeah." Jasper put me down on the bed next to him and slid down to the floor on one knee, my hand in his. He looked up at me with those amazing green eyes, those messy curls hanging down and grinned, he grinned my Jasper smile. "Isabella Marie Swan, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Smiling wide I bit my lip and said, "Yes, yes Jasper Hale Whitlock, I will be your wife."

Jasper kissed my hand and took the leather strap he always wore from his wrist and affixed it to mine, "Until we can do this the right way, will you wear this?"

Nodding, I said, "yes," through teary eyes.

He stood and pushed me back against the mattress.

I pulled him down to me by the hem of his shirt. Wanting him so badly, needing to show him just how much I loved him, my future husband. My lips sought out his, in gentle pecks, trailing along his mouth. He held me in his arms and we kissed and stared into one another's eyes for what seemed like ages.

Then, we made love, slowly, sensually. I felt so complete, so loved, so full of life and happiness and contented. Every move of his naked body against mine, every rocking of our hips, every kiss, caress and touch, felt so right.

The way his hands slowly and methodically moved over my body, so lovingly, so passionately, it made me realize that there was a difference between sex and making love. I knew then that what we had was beyond special. Sure it felt great, but it was more than the physical, it was an emotional and spiritual connection that we shared that nobody else had any place in. I would never feel that with anyone else.

Jasper's hands explored every part of my body, so tenderly. I laid back and watched as he moved, kissing and caressing. His hands moved across my legs one at a time and he seemed intent on memorizing every inch. When his eyes would meet mine we would both smile and mouth I love you. It was erotic even when it wasn't really sexual. When he crawled back up to kiss my forehead and run his fingers through my hair my hands in turn began their own exploration, starting with his face. Soon my lips followed and we changed places. Jasper laid back and it was my turn to explore.

I took my time kissing him, his jaw, his cheeks, and his forehead. I wanted to kiss every square inch of him. I didn't want to miss a single spot on his body. My hands, desperately hugged him to me, wanting to memorize every bit of him. Needing to feel his hot skin, to see how it reacted to my every different touch. I had to know what his skin did when I tickled, rubbed, grazed, what it did when I pinched, bit, licked and kissed it. There was nothing I wanted to be left wondering about when we were apart. I wanted to be able to recall every inch of him in my memory.

We spent hours just touching, kissing; finally Jasper broke the silent exchange. "Bella, I want to make love to you again."

"Yes, Jasper, I want that too."

He moved me back on the bed laying me down in the middle. Smiling down at me he began kissing softly, gently at first, against my lips, before slowly building in passion. His hands slowly massaged down my arms and up my sides. His kisses travelled lower, down my throat, teasing at the hollow just between my collar bones. I felt the heat of his tongue swirling in the small space, his hands squeezing my breasts, thumbs circling my nipples, suddenly so hard and aching. My breathing became shallow and accelerated.

His hands and mouth moved lower in sync, his mouth alternating between breasts, his hands between my clit and my lips, teasing, gently exploring as his mouth tenderly pulled, licked and bit. My legs rubbed together at the knees until he pushed them apart with his leg. His foot ran down my leg, while his knee spread me further open to him. My stomach tightened, and I could feel the moisture spreading between my thighs. I wanted him so badly.

I could feel his growing cock against my hip; it twitched and seemed to jump against me, eager to get to its destination. I was just as eager. "Jasper, please...ugh, I uh...need you."

Jasper looked up at me and smiled, "Not as much as I need you Bella."

He moved on top of me, gripping his cock, teasing me with the head, sliding it along my slit. "Jasper, uhhh, fuck."

Jasper smirked and slipped inside me groaning. He arched his back up, putting his weight on his arms as his hips rocked, thrusting into me, gently. We stared into each other's eyes as my hips met his rocking against each other.

"I love you the future Mrs. Jasper Whitlock, he smiled down at me.

"I love you fiancé."

Jasper began moving faster, rocking harder against me. His weight went to one arm as his hand moved to play with my clit, rubbing at it while his hips moved faster and faster. My leg began to quiver and shake, my breath, coming in sharp gasps. I couldn't keep myself from yelling out for him.

"Oh God, oh yes, I...Jasper...I...oh...my...God. Unfffff, JASPER." I came against him moaning and calling out to him, embarrassed at my inability to keep from yelling his name.

"Bella, damn, that is so hot, when you do that, damn, I...oh fuck...Bella." Jasper came just as hard and I decided I didn't care about being embarrassed about screaming out his name anymore. I would do it every time to see him come undone like that.

"Bella put your legs over my shoulders. I want to try something" He moved up on his knees, lifting my hips as I did as he asked and hooked my legs over his shoulders. The feeling of him deeper than I ever felt it before, made me scream out.

"Oh Bella, damn that feels amazing." Jasper grunted thrusting harder, I felt him growing inside me already.

"Oh God, Jasper, oh baby, it feels so good.

We used the rest of the box of condoms before we checked out of the hotel the next day. Jasper decided he would rather buy them himself than let Charlie know how many we had gone through. I thought Jasper was pretty damn smart.

The acceptance letters started rolling in. I actually began applying for more schools, in every major city with both an Army base and a University in the hopes of hedging our bets. Jasper had researched every likely station in the country that stationed MPs. We told nobody about our plans. I didn't even tell Charlie that I had applied to so many schools. The one benefit of Renee's guilt was the checks that kept coming regularly from Phil. He was apparently doing well and had been picked up by the Majors and must have been making decent money. The checks kept getting bigger and bigger and I already had enough put away for a semester nearly anywhere. It covered the application fees so I didn't have to ask Charlie for money.

Thanksgiving and Christmas came and went; we actually spent both holidays with Jasper and his parents. There was an awkward discussion about what schools we had narrowed it down to and I pushed Jasper about telling his parents what he planned on doing right after the New Year. Things were great between us after Halloween and we had a plan. Even though we still didn't have a ton of time with work and school and sports, we still managed to spend a significant amount of time together. Charlie let up on the rules once I said we might not end up in the same place for school. I think he was afraid I would follow after him if he kept us apart the rest of the school year.

Charlie actually approved a spring break trip with a bunch or our classmates. He said, be responsible and go easy on the drinking, and have fun. There isn't anything you can do on spring break that you wouldn't do here, so go have fun.

We went to Tahoe with Angela and Eric and Tyler and Leah. Tyler's parents let us use their house there so it really cut down on expenses. Jasper and I agreed to do the cooking if Angela and Eric did the shopping and Tyler and Leah handled clean up. Leah insisted that was easier for her than cooking and she knew where everything was and how her mother liked things done, so it worked out well.

It was fun to do the meal planning and cooking with Jasper, we worked really well together in the kitchen and it was a nice chance to get to see how things would be when we lived together. We spent 10 days in Tahoe and decided that each couple would get two nights alone at the house while the others went out. The other nights we all went out together and one night we all stayed in. My two favorite nights were the nights alone with Jasper. The others didn't come back until nearly four am either night and we had the place to ourselves. We skinny dipped in the pool and took advantage of the hot tub. The house was so isolated from the neighbors that there was no fear of anyone seeing us and we completely took advantage of that fact.

We were becoming bolder and bolder with our physical relationship, we were trying new things and discovering what each other enjoyed and didn't. Jasper just always seemed so damn good at everything, like he had had years of experience. He laughed when I told him so.

Jasper sat me on the ledge of the hot tub and pushed me back against the decking, my legs dangling in the hot water, my naked body sprawled out in the cooler breeze of the deck. His hands slid up and down my legs, coming closer to my core with each pass before they retreated down my legs again. It was torture lying sprawled out with the cool breeze kissing my naked body, the heat of the hot tub water lapping around my legs, the moisture pooling between my legs. I felt my nipples harden; I didn't know if it was the breeze or his hands on my legs.

Each time his hands grazed my wet folds my stomach tightened, I was going to cum and he hadn't even touched me. "Jasper, oh god, please..."

"What do you want Bella?" Jasper smirked, knowing he was getting to me.

I liked his teasing, it was a turn on. I liked when he acted like this. I decided to start making him crazy, saying things that would make him squirm for a change, something unexpected. "I want you to make me cum with your tongue Jasper; do you think you can handle that?"

Jasper's tongue was buried deep inside me in seconds, moving at a frantic pace. Hi hands held me down by my hips and he refused to stop even when I screamed in pleasure so loud that someone had to hear it. My back fought to arch off the deck, my legs tried to force themselves closed. He would not have any of that, and he wouldn't stop making me cum. I wouldn't stop from the rolling through my body before another wave of pleasure ran through causing me to moan and scream and quiver from head to toe.

Finally, he stopped and smirked at me, "Do you think I handled that Bella, or should I try harder?"

I shook and begged him to take me.

Jasper rolled a condom on and pulled me to him, until I was right at the edge of the deck, my bottom just barely hanging over the hot tub. The next thing I knew, Jasper was buried deep inside me, thrusting wildly. My legs held wide out to my sides. I was moaning so loudly, my body convulsing against the deck as Jasper screamed out in his own orgasm.

We collapsed into each other's arms and were speechless for ages. It seemed we had found another thing we liked.

I could really see myself spending my life with him. If the Army was what made him happy, I would be okay with that, even if it meant being apart a lot. The time together would be worth it. The more I thought about it, I realized Angela and Eric were going to different schools and Tyler and Leah didn't even go to the same high school and they made it work. We could too.

After spring break, the rest of the school year just flew. Before we knew it, classes were over and we were graduating. Jasper had broken the news to his parents and they had yet to say anything to anyone, I guess hoping he would change his mind since it was clear I was going to school.

I decided on school in Seattle. I could always transfer if Jasper ended up somewhere else. There just wasn't time for me to wait until he knew. It was the middle of June when we were both starting to freak out. It was a few more weeks and then we wouldn't see each other for who knew how long. We really hadn't gone more than a day or two without being together or talking since we first met two and a half years earlier. Even when things were so confusing and I was pushing him away, we still talked and saw each other. I was so grateful then that he had never given up on me.

Charlie was shocked and stunned and really proud when Jasper finally told him what his plans were. Charlie of course felt a bit like his son was following in his footsteps by choosing law enforcement. I think he secretly hoped Jasper would come out and join him in Forks as a deputy or something.

It made it easier for me to have Charlie know why I was crying all the time. He left us alone completely when he realized our separation was going to be more traumatic than different schools. I think he felt really bad that I was going to lose Jasper for a time too. I heard him yelling at Renee's voice mail one day, but I never said anything.

When the fourth of July came, I couldn't stop crying. Charlie sat us down and said, "Go, go with him and stay in a hotel nearby the base, so you can see each other when you can. I know it won't be much, but you will be no good here alone. Get your shopping done for the dorm and get ahead on the reading while Jasper can't see you. Just spend what time you have left together and then both of you go focus on what you need to be doing."

We were so shocked, but Charlie knew, better than anyone, the way we felt about each other.

I drove with him and checked into the closest hotel. I didn't even hear from him for an entire week. The first weekend that they got a phone pass, we talked the entire time. I didn't care that I wasn't able to see him, I drove to the base every day and sat in the truck across the street with other girlfriends and wives and just stared, hoping to catch a glimpse of his unit, just to feel close to him. I got to know several of the people and found all sorts of groups and forums for family to talk. I clung to any connection there was.

I read so far ahead in every text for the next semester it was absurd. If only I had the assignments, I probably would have completed the semester from the parking lot across from the base.

Each time we got to talk it was like a blessing, we both spoke so fast so we could get it all in and then we would just go on and on about how much we missed each other and who loved whom more. He always said that he felt so much better knowing I was right over that fence somewhere.

The first weekend that they got visitor passes, I was out of my mind for two days I was so excited. When I found out I could not just jump on him when I saw him, I cried. I actually cried. We sat around with a bunch of other people from his unit and their significant others and just stared at each other and whispered I love you and I need you.

When he finally got his first pass to leave the base, we did the only thing either of us wanted.

"I don't want to wait Jasper, not four years; there isn't any reason to wait." I pulled him closer to me, not wanting to let go.

"Do you mean it Bella?" Jasper's arms wrapped around me.

We found a justice of the peace and we got married.


	6. Bars and Wars Chapter 6

Bars and Wars  
Chapter 6

We went to my hotel, the cheapest one in town, and consummated our marriage. It wasn't the way I ever dreamed my wedding and honeymoon would be, but it was with Jasper, and that was all that really mattered. I hated that I had to drive him back to the base so soon after. I hated that I couldn't take him all the way to the barracks, but had to drop him at command and watch him run toward his barracks. I was really starting to hate Ft. Leonard Wood, and the City of St. Roberts and the State of Missouri. It smelled like skunk constantly on the damn base and I ran over one on my way back out. Just fucking great, now on my wedding day, my damn car was going to smell like skunk and I was all alone.

I drove past the damn tattoo parlors just outside the base for the millionth time and realized why there were 5 in a three block radius. I wanted a tattoo; I wanted something to remind me of Jasper for all the times he wasn't with me, all the times he was stuck behind those damn gates that I had started to hate.

There wasn't a decent restaurant, I was sick of Wal-Mart and I just wanted Jasper with me. I plopped down on the bed and cried. The sheets were still mused from our lovemaking earlier. I sank into them and inhaled his scent. I wrapped myself in the sheets and cried; I was Mrs. Jasper Whitlock and I couldn't tell anyone. It made me feel awful, like what we had done was somehow wrong. I knew it wasn't; I knew it was the best thing I had ever done, but having to keep it secret, somehow tarnished it. Just the thought of being alone on my wedding night, made me sad, angry and so very lonely.

Jasper was done with the first two phases of training, the Red Phase and the White Phase and into the Blue Phase, I barely understood him anymore when he spoke, everything was acronyms and Army speak. He told me all about live hand grenade training and how his hand shook while he held it. He told me about gas chamber training and how bad it made him puke, but that he learned to trust his equipment. With every letter and call I saw him changing more and more. He was becoming someone else. He was so excited when he called me to tell me he qualified at the top of his class on the nine millimeter and was kicking ass in PT. I knew he would, he never missed a day of running in all the time I knew him.

Then, I didn't hear from him for a week. When I finally got a letter, he explained that some idiot had screwed up in formation and they all got privileges taken away, no phone, no time for letter writing and had to write a thousand word essay.

He was tired of getting screamed at because other people couldn't cut it. He was always the team leader in high school, always the one everyone looked up to, and it sounded to me like he was becoming part of a different team, and as usual a leader. Officially and unofficially; he was named some kind of command leader for his platoon. I was proud of him.

It was also time for me to leave. I had to go to Seattle and start my semester. I wasn't going to get to see Jasper again before I had to go and now I had to make the trip from Missouri to Forks alone.

My bags were packed and the car was loaded, there was only one thing left I wanted to do before leaving St. Robert, Missouri. My mind was made up; I knew exactly what I wanted and where I wanted it. Just something small, hidden from all eyes except the dazzling green pair that took my every breath away. Something that rolled everything into one small image that summed it up and reminded me why it would all be okay.

Weaving through traffic I pulled into the lot and walked into the shop that seemed to have the best reputation that my limited research unveiled. After making small talk with the man at the counter I finally told him what I wanted and where I wanted it. He helped me draw up the design and resized it a couple times and then brought me to a back room to do the piece.

I was nervous and scared and had absolutely no idea what to expect. I was shocked when he started and it actually sort of tickled. I kept laughing and he shook his head and said I was his funniest client. All in all it took less than an hour and I was covered dressed and ready to go. Only then did I realize it was not the greatest idea when I had to drive half way across the country alone.

Driving across the country all alone gave me entirely too much time to think and to let my fears and concerns run wild in my convoluted little brain. I was thinking too much and making myself crazy

What had I been thinking? Charlie is going to kill me. Oh my God. I can't tell him, I can't tell Charlie I married Jasper, he will be livid with both of us. What am I going to do? Charlie trusted me to go with Jasper, to be near him because he knew we needed each other. When he finds out we got married he is going to have a fit.

I just can't tell him. Not now.

Jasper can't tell his parents either, what have we done?

The longer I drove the more I convinced myself that I had to keep the news to myself, at least for now. I drove along the dark interstate alone and felt like it was somehow foreshadowing the life I had just signed on for. How often was I going to be left alone? How often was I going to have to fend for myself while Jasper's mistress, the US Army got to call all the shots?

By the time I hit Laramie, Wyoming I had resigned myself to the fact that, I loved Jasper and we would get through this. We would not tell our parents just yet, not until we found out where he would be stationed and we could answer the questions they were going to have for us. The questions we haven't figured out the answers to ourselves.

I could hear Charlie in the back of my head all the way from Laramie, Wyoming to just outside of Salt Lake City, Utah. "How are you going to support her Jasper? How are you going to pay for college? How are you going to finish college? What happens when the Army ships Jasper somewhere you can't go Bella? What happens to you Bella if God forbid Jasper is killed, or taken prisoner by some foreign enemy? What happens when you have kids Bella, are they going to know their father? Are you going to be a single parent doing it all? Isabella Marie Swan, what the fuck were you thinking?"

Yeah, that decision was made before I hit the Idaho state line; I was not telling Charlie. That meant I was not telling anyone else either. Not yet.

By the time I cleared Oregon and was passing the exits for Portland I was pretty settled. I loved Jasper and we would make this work, even if we were only married on paper, and no matter how long it took for us to work it out. If I had to, I would stay at Seattle the entire four years and finish school. We would see each other when we could until then, but we would make this work.

I realized that I had written four letters since I started driving, I wrote at every gas station, rest stop and fast food dive that I stopped at. I wrote at the hotel I stopped at barely long enough to get six hours of sleep before driving straight through again. It took me two full days to get home and I realized I never turned on the radio. I was too busy thinking out our lives. I stopped and mailed all four letters before I got home. My last letter told Jasper that we were not telling our parents until he found out where he was going and we could answer their questions. I hoped he understood. I kissed the back of the envelope right over the big number 3 and dropped it in the box.

The next two days I packed the rest of my things for Seattle and told Charlie all about the base and the town and how much Jasper was changing. I told him everything except what really mattered. I had lunch with Jasper's parents on Saturday and showed them the pictures I took of Jasper. I filled them in on everything except what really mattered too.

Sunday I kissed Charlie goodbye, got back in the car and headed to Seattle and my dorm. I had never given much thought to decorating the space and it was a really good thing I hadn't wasted the time.

I walked into the dormitory and checked in, got my room assignment and keys and the orientation schedule and went off to find my room. I passed all the open doors in the hallway, said quiet hellos to some of the other obvious freshmen. The rooms all looked the same, bare, bland and completely unappealing. I really didn't care, I tried not to think about how much worse it was where Jasper was, a room full of bunks, no privacy, no personal mementos.

I unlocked the door, opening it, expecting to find the same thing as all the other rooms, and stopped dead in my tracks. I looked back at the outside of the door to verify it was the correct room. It was then I first heard the distinctive high-pitched giggling that sounded like a bell, followed by a whispered, "Hurry up close the door, before everyone sees."

"Holy shit." That was all I could think to say.

"Hi, you must be Isabella, I'm Alice, Alice Cullen, your roommate, I hope you don't mind but I went ahead and decorated our room. I wasn't sure if you would have your own bedding so I didn't dress your bed. Oh, it's that one by the way. I gave you the good side, since I was imposing my decorating styles on you. I really hope you like it. Oh and if you don't have bedding, I have an extra set that matches mine and you are welcome to it, it just means laundry more often or maybe a shopping trip to go buy extras. Anyway, I just know that we are going to be the best of friends."

I had walked into a page out of Martha Stewart or some shit and my roommate was the energizer bunny. "Just kill me now," was all I could think.

"Um, hi, it's Bella, just Bella." I looked around and wondered if this could possibly be the same size as all the other rooms, it looked so much bigger and then I realized the furniture had been rearranged compared to the other rooms I had seen.

Alice caught on quick and said, "Oh, I determined the best floor-plan for the space and had the furniture rearranged to maximize floor space and privacy. That's the study area over there. That's the refrigerator, I had a cabinet built for it so that it could double as a printer stand and be hidden, nothing like an unsightly appliance to totally ruin a look, and don't you agree?"

"Uh, yeah, um, it looks great, I really like it. I guess I'll use the matching bedding I'd hate to ruin the look with my old used blanket."

"Oh thank God, I was so worried about that. Come on I'll help you get settled in." Alice said as she took one of my bags and looked around for more.

"No, that's it, I travel light." I was a bit embarrassed as I realized she had supplied the printer, a flat screen television, a dual iPod docking station, and more home decor items than a well stocked boutique. I had to hand it to her though, the room was perfect, it wasn't overdone, it was functional and most importantly, I wasn't going to have to worry about a thing but getting through school.

We spent the afternoon getting me settled in, unpacking my clothes. Alice was horrified half the time and shocked that I barely filled half the tiny closet. She hugged me and jumped up and down when I said that she could use the extra space if she needed it. Alice insisted on keeping some space available for when she took me shopping for what she called some real clothes.

We had just finished when suddenly the door opened and a guy with oddest shade hair color I had ever seen came sauntering into the room, without knocking, closed the door behind him and plopped down on my bed, picking up my one picture, Charlie and I fishing.

I just looked at him, took the picture and said, "Excuse me, can I help you with something?"

I heard Alice's tinkling bell laugh and looked up at her, still fuming at the arrogance and audacity of the jack ass sprawled across my bed.

"That's Edward, ignore him, he is a sophomore and well, my brother. Edward, shoes off the bed." Alice reprimanded him, and when he ignored her, opting to openly check out my ass instead, I was about to hit him but she beat me to it, smacking his feet off my bed. He chuckled, said "Nice to meet you Bella," and smirked as he looked my body up and down, got up and walked back out of the room saying to Alice, "don't forget to call Mom, I don't want her bugging me to see how you are."

Jackass.

Alice laughed and said, "Yeah, narcissist."

We left for orientation and then went straight to the book store to pick up our books and supplies. I was not surprised Alice already had her order placed and everything she needed was already picked, bagged and waiting. All she had to do was sign the credit slip and she was waiting on me. My roommate was the queen of organization. Oh bloody hell; this was not going to be like studying with Jasper.

Once we dropped our books and supplies back at the dorm it was time to hit the cafeteria. I felt like I was walking in with my exact opposite. Where I was exhausted and disheveled, she looked like she stepped off a runway and just out of a salon. I dragged my feet and she seemed to float on air. I avoided eye contact and she was exchanging numbers and responding on our behalf to party invites. It seemed I met my social secretary.

Alice had been to visit Edward several times the year before so she really had the lay of the land all set out already. She knew more juniors and seniors than half of their own classmates did. Alice was by far the most popular freshman in the class and the first day was not even over.

It didn't escape me that Alice did not leave my side and included me in everything. Maybe she was what I needed, maybe with her I could just blend in and not have to make much effort. I could miss Jasper and keep it under wraps. Married students were not supposed to live in the dorms, but since I applied long before I was married and my husband was not here, I planned to just keep quiet. After all I couldn't take any chances of Charlie finding out.

Besides, I had no idea how long I'd actually be here. I could be transferring as soon as next semester for all I knew.

Alice had us committed to a party that night and the next. I soon learned that Alice would have us attending every party known and usually we were the only underclassmen present. That first weekend we ran into Edward at one of the party's. It turned out Edward was even more popular than his sister. People just seemed to flock to both of them. I stuck close to Alice that night and watched in awe as nearly every male in attendance tried to ask her out, get her number or just talk to her. I noticed Edward had nearly all the women flocking around him too, flirting ridiculously with him, giggling and flipping their hair.

I just sat back and watched. I noticed him checking me out several times and ignored him. I think it only served to attract more of his attention. I was anxious to get home and write to Jasper, tell him all about Alice and maybe send a picture of our room. I decided I wasn't telling him anything about Edward, it would just bug Jasper and he needed to concentrate on what he was doing.

I wrote to Jasper that night and every night, usually more than one or two letters a day. It got to the point I always had a draft on me at least partially started. I would just add what happened during the day as it went. I would tell him the most mundane things; I just knew I had to be boring the hell out of him. I would get his letters and watch him change before my eyes. I got less and less of the details of what he did each day and more and more about how great the Army was. Jasper called every chance he could and I would walk out of class if need be just to hear his voice for a few minutes.

It was November before I knew it and I was running out of excuses for why I wouldn't date. The problem with a social secretary for a roommate was that you actually met a ton of people, and I was getting hit on left and right. I swore half of them were guys just wanting to get closer to Alice. Some of those were just trying to get closer to Edward.

It became very clear that Edward Cullen was the Big Man on Campus. His sister, Alice was the destined to be Homecoming Queen as a freshman. I just wanted to hide behind the scenes and here I was right smack in the middle of the schools most popular sibling duo.

Last week of November Jasper was graduating from the MP program. I was flying out with his parents and Charlie for the Family day and graduation. Finally after months I was going to get to see my husband.

I didn't tell Alice where I was going, but I think she had a pretty good idea it wasn't home for the weekend. She always seemed to know what was going on without me saying a word. It was spooky. In fact she had a weird knack of always knowing when there would be an unannounced quiz too.

I met Charlie and Jasper's parents at the airport, and was really happy to see all of them. I hadn't realized I had missed them too; I had been so busy focusing on missing Jasper.

We weren't even going to get to see him until the next day, but I was giddy already. We went for dinner and I showed them around town. I know I was blushing when we drove past the justice of the peace and the tattoo parlor. Nobody said a word. We stayed at a much nicer hotel than the one I had stayed in, and I went for a swim before bed, just to clear my head before seeing Jasper. We talked for nearly half an hour before he had to go. I was so excited to see him.

The next morning I was cranky and irritable trying to get Charlie to hurry, I wanted to be extra early to get a good seat. It was Family Day and we would get to spend the day with him after sitting through an awards ceremony. Jasper was getting two awards, I was so proud of him. When it was over he would be able to leave the base for the first time since we got married. Too bad nobody knew.

We arrived an hour early and it was already crowded, when the door opened I ran ahead to get seats. I looked out at all the graduates and was stunned. I couldn't even pick Jasper out at first, they all looked the same, none of them moved one inch, they looked straight ahead and they were all in uniform with buzzed heads I couldn't even find my husband right away. Then I saw him, his curls gone, but those piercing green eyes, those were only Jasper's. I smiled.

The ceremony seemed to drag on and all I could do was stare at the man that couldn't even turn his head to look in my direction. When it was finally over, and they were dismissed to their families care, I ran to meet him. Jasper picked me up kissing me, and whispered in my ear, "Wife."

I beamed.

We spent the afternoon with our family and hit the commissary and bought sweatshirts and stickers and Jasper bought some uniform things he needed. We went to lunch and I felt like a complete outsider. Jasper, his parents, even Charlie spoke a language I did not understand. They all seemed to be on the same page, except for me. They were throwing around acronyms like confetti and I gave up asking what things meant.

They were all so proud of him, even Charlie. Charlie beamed when Jasper had received top honors and the award for shooting. I swear Charlie saw Jasper has the son he never had, I just hoped when he found out he was his son-in-law that would not change.

The afternoon went by so quickly and Jasper and I had not gotten two minutes alone together. It was time to take him back to base and Jasper announced that he wanted me to drive him back so we could spend a little time alone. His Mom didn't look to happy but his dad gently placed his hand on her arm and handed me the car keys. Charlie smirked. What is it they thought we were going to do in thirty minutes in the car with Jasper in uniform?

Finally, we were alone together in the car.

"God damn, I miss you so much Bella," Jasper said, kissing me hungrily.

All I could do was kiss him back with the same intensity, and lose myself in his arms as he held me.

"I miss you too, so much Jasper."

"Tomorrow, graduation and then I get to come home for a few days at least before I ship out. I'm really nervous that it's going to end up deployed and not stationed Bella. There is a lot of talk of the whole class getting hardship tours."

"What does that mean Jasper; you know I don't understand any of this stuff very well."

"It means I go alone, no spouses, it means an active zone; it probably means Iraq or Afghanistan."

"Shit. Fuck, Jasper…." The tears just started rolling down my cheeks; I clung to him with every bit of strength as if it would prevent him from leaving me somehow.

"I know; I'm so sorry Bella." Jasper held me to him just as tightly as I held him. I could see the tears threatening to break through in his eyes and I couldn't send him back to base crying. With every ounce of false confidence I could muster I spoke words I didn't really trust.

"Jasper Whitlock, we knew this was a possibility, we will get through it. I really like Seattle, classes are going great, my roommate is becoming a very good friend, and I'll just stay there and finish school while you do this tour. You get time off we'll meet wherever and spend as much time together as we can. We can do this; we have to just do this because I will not lose you, no matter what."

"I have to tell the Army we are married now, Bella, first of all it will increase my salary, I can send you more money, entitle you to Army benefits, and we can't lie to the Army. I have to disclose it Bella." Jasper ran his hands across my cheeks.

"Jasper, you don't have to send me money." I smiled, my eyes closing at his gentle touch.

"Bella, you are my wife, you are in school. I will help support you. I really won't need much anyway, it's not like I will be paying for housing or a car or going out. When we get home we'll open a joint account and I'll have my checks directly deposited, you'll have access to what you need. It isn't a lot, but it will help, ok?" Jasper took my hands in his.

"Alright, what are we going to do about our parents?" I sat back in the driver's seat, facing Jasper, holding his hands.

"We are going to have to tell them Bella, maybe while I'm still home, before I leave."

Nodding, tears in my eyes, "I know that we have to tell them, they aren't going to be happy with the way we did it." I sighed and dropped Jasper's hands turning to start the engine.

I dropped Jasper at the Command Center and watched him run back to the barracks for the last time I hoped. Graduation was the next day and then we would be leaving this place for good. It would always be the place I became Mrs. Jasper Whitlock, so it would always be special no matter how much I had grown to hate it.

* * *

AN: Hope you enjoyed. This chapter did not make it to my Beta, so kick my ass not hers if there are problems, and feel free to politely point them out and I'll fix them. Special thanks to Karen E. Teague for her help with some of the military info. As always, I apologize, but where real US ARMY doesn't fit my needs, I take liberties, no offense intended to our great military, but this is fiction folks. Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	7. Bars and Wars Chapter 7

Bars and Wars

Chapter 7

The next day was Graduation and I was so proud of Jasper; he was recognized for his accomplishments in PT and in marksmanship. By the time the ceremony was over, he was itching to get out of there. We took pictures and he said goodbye to his drill sergeants and took phone numbers from platoon buddies he promised to keep in touch with. We stood there waiting and he handed me a packet of paper, I could see the tears welling in his eyes and him fighting, not letting them shed.

I didn't have to look to know what it meant. So that was it. Four years apart. Four years of a hardship tour, no spouses. Four years without Jasper. A single tear slid down my cheek, Jasper's thumb wiped at it as he took a deep breath and regained his composure. It felt like he flipped a switch and turned off his emotions. That was the first time I felt that from him.

He left me holding the papers and informed his parents and Charlie of his deployment. Charlie looked straight at me and I could see the fear in his eyes. Jasper's mother flipped that same switch that her son had, and her face went from that of the warm, loving, proud mother, to the hard core soldier in the blink of an eye. I was terrified for my future in that moment.

Jasper's father audibly sighed and nodded. There was complete silence for a full minute before his mother broke it. "OK then, let's gear up and shove off," she said.

Jasper had to fall in for one last formation, we watched, not speaking, then climbed into the rental and drove him over to grab his gear, then drove straight to the airport. Nobody talked about it, his father made small talk, Charlie tried to get me to talk, but I looked away when he met my gaze. Jasper just squeezed my hand and rubbed my bare ring finger with his thumb.

Jasper had five days at home before he had to report back for duty. I slept in his arms on the plane, and stayed home the weekend. We spent every minute together. Charlie didn't even put up an argument when I insisted on staying at his house. Jasper's parents didn't even try to stop us when he led me to his room for bed the first night.

We made love as husband and wife for the first time since our wedding night. My emotions were so mixed, I loved him so much and I knew in my heart, things would work out, but I was terrified nonetheless.

"I know you are not happy about this Bella, I am not happy either, we just have to get through it," Jasper said, kissing my neck, up along my jaw line, nibbling on my ear.

"I know babe and we will," I replied, tilting my head, giving him better access.

"Bella, you don't regret marrying me, do you?" Jasper leaned into me, his nose tucked under my jaw. I could feel his eyelashes against my cheekbone as his eyes fluttered closed; the moisture of a tear against my skin.

Pulling back to make him look into my eyes, "No Jasper, I will never regret marrying you, no matter what happens, you are the love of my life and I don't care how long we have to wait to be able to start our lives together."

"I love you Isabella Marie Whitlock." Jasper's hands began to slowly move down my back and under the hem of my shirt.

"Sorry tough guy, it is still Swan, couldn't change my name when we weren't telling anyone we were married. I can't tell the University now, or I'll get kicked out of the dorm and forced into married housing, we can't afford." I braced myself for his response.

Jasper didn't miss a beat. "Don't need a piece of paper or a driver's license to make you a Whitlock baby, and you are my Isabella Whitlock." His hands lifted the shirt, and slid it up my sides, over my head.

"Thank you my curls." My hands tugged at Jasper's tee shirt, pulling it up and off.

"God, I missed you so much baby." Warm hands slid under the cups of my bra, pushing it up over my breasts. My nipples began to harden in response to the thumbs pressed gently against them.

"I have missed you so much, I missed talking to you all day, every day, I missed your smile, I missed these," Jasper chuckled, and squeezed my tits.

I moved my hand down his body tracing circles as they descended, dipping into his jeans as I reached the waistband. "I missed this too," I whispered as my fingers stroked his length.

Jasper groaned at my touch and his hands moved down my body to unzip my jeans. I realized Jasper was about to find my tattoo. I giggled slightly and wriggled under him.

"Jesus Bella…," Jasper gasped as my fingers pinched at his head. My hands made quick work of his jeans, as he began tearing at mine. We needed each other.

Jeans came off in a flurry as we both let the need and passion take over. Jasper pulled at my panties and I stopped, frozen in anticipation.

"Bella?" Jasper, stopped, his eyes darting up to mine and back down again.

Propping myself up on my elbows, looking into Jasper's eyes, playing coy, I said, "Yes Jasper."

"What is this?" he asked with my favorite crooked smirk of a smile.

"What does it look like?"

His fingers slowly began to trace the outline of the heart; the J shaped dirty blonde lock of hair that hung across it in a curl. "Bella, thank you, it's…" Jasper dropped his head to the top of my mound and began kissing the mark that would forever adorn my body and proclaim I was his, my heart belonged only to Jasper, curls, my love, my world.

His mouth lingered, his tongue tracing the tattoo, he kissed and sucked at it, his fingers moving down, gliding across my lips, sliding into me, pumping steadily, his mouth moving lower, pulling my clit between his teeth, sucking it as he gently bit down.

My body began to shake, my hands explored his head, the trademark curls gone, the close cropped cut left nothing for me to grab onto. My hands pulled at his head, grinding it against me as I moaned out in pleasure. "Oh Damn, Jasper, ohhh, gawd baby, feels so good."

He wouldn't stop, my hands twisted in the sheets, my hips thrashed wildly as he held me to the bed with his head, his other hand against my tattoo. One wave of pleasure would barley subside, before the next round began; he would change the movement of his fingers, the pressure on my clit, so slightly but it would start another chain reaction. I struggled so hard against screaming out. The bed was hitting the wall with the intensity of my writhing, I tried to calm down and keep his parents from hearing. I could hear the volume of the television increase from down stairs and knew they could hear.

"Jasper, Jesus, Jasper, your parents… they can hear us."

"I don't care Bella. I love you. I don't care if they know that."

"Please Jasper, please I need you, please." I begged.

Jasper looked up, "I need you too Bella, I need to be inside you."

"Then do it Jasper, please, I need you inside me too, I need to feel you."

He slid his way up my body, kissing me hard, his lips and tongue claiming my mouth the way it had lower. He slid inside me and our hips rocked together so hard, so fast, the need so great, we couldn't slow our movements. We kept it up for what seemed like hours, our bodies entwined in the utter need and longing for each other.

I felt so connected to my husband those few hours, knowing it was not going to last for long. Four more days and he was leaving for four years, Three days and I had to be back in Seattle for school.

We spent the entire next day running errands, setting up a joint bank account, Jasper filled out paperwork. It seemed like a never ending stream of it just to tell the Army that I was his wife.

Saturday night we all had dinner at Jasper's parents, Charlie came straight from work. We argued about it all day, but finally agreed that we had to tell them we were married.

I helped my mother in-law in the kitchen prepare the meal. I swear there was nothing that woman couldn't do. It was so intimidating. She was so nice about it though, she taught me a few things she called kitchen tricks and I giggled at her ability to control even a bland meal.

The table was set; the food was almost ready when Charlie arrived. The pit in my stomach grew immeasurably when Jasper answered the door to him. We had decided that we would tell them toward the end of dinner.

I hugged Charlie when he walked into the kitchen to say hello to Mrs. Whitlock and I. I couldn't help feel that it may be the last real hug for awhile. It was the last time he'd hug me as Bella Swan in his mind, so I guess it seemed strange when I wrapped my arms tight around his waist and wouldn't let go.

The food was ready to be plated and Mrs. Whitlock announced that everyone should sit down. I carried the vegetable and potatoes to the table and took my place next to Jasper, a lump in my throat. His hand reached for mine under the table as soon as I was seated. I squeezed so hard I felt him wince.

The chatter was idle during the start of the meal. Charlie and Mr. Whitlock were talking about local politics. Mrs. Whitlock laughed and told them not to ruin her dinner with such talk. I gulped and looked at Jasper; he was pushing the food around on his plate not really eating.

We were half way through dinner when I heard Jasper clear his throat. Oh God, this was it. I braced myself and squeezed his hand again.

"Mom, Dad, Chief Swan, Bella and I have something to ask you." Jasper started in, looking each of them in the eye.

I watched as Charlie put his silverware down and the color left his face. I knew he thought Jasper was about to ask permission for my hand.

"We would like to ask for your support and blessing, on our marriage and your forgiveness for not doing it the way we know you would have preferred." Jasper squeezed my hand but held his head high. I looked at Charlie and dropped my head at the hurt in his eyes. "Bella and I are married."

There was silence for several minutes. The only sound, Mrs. Whitlock's silverware hitting her plate as Jasper's words hung in the air.

Charlie looked to the Whitlock's before breaking the silence. "When?"

Jasper explained that we were married in Missouri before I came back for the semester and I cringed as Charlie's chair skidded on the floor as he pushed back away from the table and out of it.

Mr. Whitlock jumped up and walked the few step to Charlie.

"Dad. Please…."

"Chief Swan, I am sorry, but I love her, I will always love her, you know that Charlie." Jasper was getting up from his chair, and I went to move. Mrs. Whitlock placed her hand on my arm and shook her head, no. I sat back and tears began to fall down my cheeks.

Then, the last thing I ever expected happened. My new mother–in-law became my greatest ally and friend in one sentence.

"Well, we couldn't be happier that Bella is a part of our family now, you know we love you dear and will be here to support you both no matter what. I think this calls for a celebration don't you dear, Charlie?" She shot both of them a most commanding look and they both sat down without another word.

The tension was thick and hung in the air, but she had diffused the situation and I had a newfound respect for Army training at that moment.

I smiled at her and mouthed thank you as the men sat back down.

"Now, Jasper, go get the bottle of Champagne in the refrigerator, Bella the glasses are in the cabinet over the bar."

We were sent away to give our parents a few minutes to talk. I felt a little like a kid at the children's table on a holiday. Jasper pulled me into the kitchen with him and wrapped his arms around me, hugging.

"You did great baby, I think I love your mom." I whispered.

"Who knew she'd be the one to support us, I thought she'd kill me." Jasper chuckled, "I was more afraid of her than Charlie."

We heard them whispering and got our assigned items and lingered a minute trying to let them talk. When Charlie's voice began to rise Jasper took my hand and led me back into the dining room.

I set the glasses before my mother-in-law while Jasper popped the cork on the bottle and handed it to his mother.

"Jasper, Bella, I am very disappointed in the way you two went about this, and for not telling us right away. I hope you can understand that. I have already thought of you as a son Jasper, but you should have known better, been more responsible."

"Dad, don't blame Jasper, he didn't drag me to the altar kicking and screaming, I wanted to marry Jasper, I love him, and I don't want to live without him." My voice was shaking, tears welling up again.

"Well now, it seems that you don't really have a choice in that Bella, now you have to live apart from your husband."

"I know, and we will deal with that."

"And just how is he going to support you?" Charlie quipped.

"Charlie, I will support her, we already opened a joint account, my paychecks will be automatically deposited, and Bella has full access to everything."

"Great, Jasper, and college, do you plan of finishing college Bella?" Charlie was getting angrier by the minute.

"Yes, Dad, I will finish school while Jasper does this tour, then by the time he is finished I will be graduating."

"Then what? I didn't have the impression one tour was it for Jasper, what are you going to do then Bella, go running off following him wherever he happens to be stationed? What about your career Bella?"

"Ok Charlie, let's calm down a little, we all wish they would have waited, but we all also knew this day would come eventually, these two kids belong together and we all knew sooner or later they would be married. We can let this come between us and our children or we can support them the best way we can." My mother-in-law was quickly becoming the most unexpected champion. I thought for sure she would have been the most upset of our parents. Hell, maybe she was, but she was more in control of her emotions.

I was not surprised that Charlie was as upset as he was. All the questions that I had dreaded on my solo drive home from Missouri were flowing.

Charlie stopped grilling us, but he didn't really calm. The rest of the evening was cut short. Charlie insisted on leaving after dinner and demanded I come home. I'm not really sure why it was so important. He didn't speak to me on the drive home, and went straight to bed when we got there. He was up and gone before I woke in the morning, and I spent most of the night on the phone with my husband.

As soon as I woke I was dialing Jasper, he was already on his way over. Jasper was so distant, I knew he was worried, but he was bottling things up, he wasn't telling me how he felt the way he used to. I knew he had to be scared, I knew he hated that he was leaving me, and I knew he wouldn't admit it.

I tried so hard to stay upbeat, to make our time together a good memory and not a sad one, not one we would regret. It was one of the hardest things I had ever done. Most of our friends were at school so at least we didn't have to go through the pretense of getting together with anyone.

We just spent the remainder of our time together getting things situated; Jasper was filling out papers for the Army, notifying them of our marriage, making copies of the marriage certificates, my birth certificate. We had to run to get passport pictures for me. It was a whirlwind.

I called Alice to tell her I was extending my stay at home and asked her to get notes for me. She smirked but said nothing; she didn't ask or prod why I was staying home.

The next day Jasper left. He said goodbye to his parents and insisted on stopping at the station to say goodbye to Charlie. He refused to leave without at least trying to smooth things over with him. I cried when we walked in and Charlie got up, walked over and pulled Jasper into a tight, lingering hug. He said something to him about being his son and taking care of me, Jasper wouldn't tell me the exact words.

We drove to the airport, both of us quiet, holding hands. There really weren't very many words that were going to make either of us feel any better. We walked to the gate, Jasper in his uniform, my face, tear stained. Passersby stared, some nodded slightly to Jasper, and several older women shot me a sad smile in quiet understanding.

I didn't leave the airport until his flight was in the air. I walked to the car just numb, replaying the tearful goodbye over and over in my mind. I love you exchanged so many times, promises to call and text and write. I was glad we said our goodbye in public; I don't think I could have taken it in private.

I drove straight to school, and avoided Alice as much as I could. She knew something was wrong, but didn't push. I put up one picture of Jasper and I from graduation. He was in uniform, looking so handsome.

Alice picked it up in the frame and looked at it for a few minutes. Still holding the picture in her hands, she looked at me for a couple minutes, put it down and said, "Everything will work out." Alice smiled slightly, and began pulling out notes from class.

"Bella, I already typed the class notes out and printed you a copy, if you have any questions, just ask, but I think I got most of the lecture verbatim, so they should be pretty clear. I am starving, so let's get ready for the cafeteria, go wash up, you'll feel a little better, and I need to change." Just like always, she bounced around the room as she spoke like the damn pink bunny I always imagined when I thought of Alice.

Just like that Alice let me know she had a pretty good idea what was going on and that she wasn't going to push me on it, for now.

"Oh and Bella," Alice said as I was walking out to the bathroom with my bag, "you will tell me when you are ready, and I will be there for you."

* * *

AN: I realize I am not updating as quickly as anyone would like, including me. I do vow, not to give up on updating the story. It is fully outlined, I know exactly where it is going, even if the actual words take me by surprise sometimes. I do tend to let my characters take over and tell their story. Once again, blame me only if there are errors, I didn't get my act toegther to send it to beta or the preview versions I promised, sorry Mysticdraven, but if I get my act together on the next chapter, I will. I figured you would rather have the chapter sooner though. Hope you enjoy and as always, I am really anxious for feedback on this one. LOL.


	8. Bars and Wars Chapter 8

Bars and Wars

Chapter 8

* * *

Alice didn't let me out of her sight the next week, everywhere I went, there was Alice. Where Alice was lately, Edward was. It was maddening; he wouldn't stop hitting on me for two seconds. I was beginning to think I might punch him in the face.

I woke up, blinking the light from my eyes, focusing. Edward was in our room making coffee, he handed me a cup and sat down on the edge of my bed with his own cup and started drinking, like we did this every morning.

"Get off my bed Jackass," I kicked at him as I growled out.

Edward got up and sat backwards straddling Alice's desk chair, facing me.

"OH MY GOD, Edward, what the hell do you want?" I pulled the sheet over my head.

He chuckled and said, "You."

"Never going to happen, give up now Edward. Oh, and get out, Alice is at the gym," I quipped.

"You're welcome, Bella," Edward said in his typical cocky demeanor.

"For what?" he was really grating on my nerves at that point.

"The coffee." He put his cup down and walked out, closing the door behind him. I screamed into the pillow, he was trying to drive me insane, I knew it.

I got up, dressed and ate breakfast and then stalked the mailbox. Three letters. I grinned like an idiot, running back to the room knowing I had about thirty minutes before Alice came back. Jasper's letters were sweet and detailed everything he was doing each day. Mostly paperwork and waiting around. He talked a lot about how much he missed me. I was just finishing writing my fifth letter in two days and putting a stamp on it when I heard the key in the door. I shoved the envelope into my backpack and the letters into the lock box.

"Hi Alice," I bounced out of the chair, and over to the closet, grabbing my jacket. "I have to run an errand before class, meet you there?" I was opening the door and walking out before Alice could stop me.

"Ok Bella." Alice was giggling as I walked down the hall.

Jasper texted me just as I was mailing his letters. He laughed when I told him how many I just mailed. We texted back and forth while I walked to class and until the professor walked in and then I said goodbye and pocketed my phone. Jasper kept sending the same message causing my pocket to vibrate throughout class. "I Love you Mrs. Whitlock."

When class ended and I opened my phone I must have turned twenty shades of red, Alice looked at me and said, "OH MY, you have been holding out on me Bella, who is he?"

"Alice, swear to me you won't tell anyone, not even Edward, hell, especially not Edward," I laughed.

The minute we walked into the room, Alice sat us both down on my bed and said, "I won't tell, and if you don't want to, you don't have to tell me, I just feel better knowing I don't have to worry about you. Do you know how many guys you have turned down or given the cold shoulder?"

"What?" I was shocked, had I really been giving people the cold shoulder?

"His name is Jasper, we have been together a couple years, but he is in the Army right now and I can't go where he is, so I am finishing school while he does this tour."

"Ah, a High School sweetheart then?" Alice asked, sitting back against my bed.

"Yeah," I smiled. Jasper was so much more than a High School Sweetheart, he was my life. I just wasn't sure whether I should tell Alice we were married.

"Well, Bella, I mean you could date other people right, four years is a long time to wait for a boyfriend you can't see. Surely he is seeing other people too, right?"

"NO!" I nearly jumped down her throat.

"Whoa, ok, um…geez Bella, I'm sorry. It's just, most of my friends with boyfriends from High School, agreed to see other people when they went to different schools. I broke it off with mine so I would be free to do what I wanted."

"Alice, it's not like that, not with us." I got up and started pacing the small room. What was I going to do? She wasn't going to drop this.

"Geez Bella, it's not like you're married to him."

My head snapped back toward her so quickly I knew I probably strained my neck. "What did you say?"

"OH MY GOD! Bella, you are married to him aren't you?" Alice jumped up from the bed, grabbing my forearms, looking at me.

I stared at her for a moment before finally nodding my head and answering, "Yes, he is my husband, Alice, please; I am begging you not to tell anyone." I could feel the tears sting as they hit my cheeks.

"Oh Hun, I won't tell anyone, I'm so sorry I kept trying to fix you up with all those guys, and damn Edward constantly hitting on you." Alice sat us back down on the bed, legs crossed facing each other. "Now, talk, I know you need to."

The floodgates opened, I hadn't even realized how much I had been holding in. The minute I opened my mouth to speak, the tears took over. I started to tell Alice the whole story between sobs, by the time I finished we were both soaked from my tears.

Alice held me while I cried, and promised never to tell anyone until I was ready. She comforted me and reassured me that with the story she had just heard, we would be fine, we'd get through it and she would help anyway she could.

I really was lucky to have Alice as a roommate and she was quickly becoming a best friend too.

"Alice, thank you, you are really a godsend, do you know that?"

I just kept spilling my guts to Alice telling her things I had not planned to share; she just sort of seemed to know what I was going to say and kept asking the right questions.

"Why don't you come home with me for a few days over break, that way you won't have to be alone at home without Jasper?" Alice asked.

"You know what, I think that sounds perfect, but what about Edward?" I groaned thinking of his unrelenting advances all week.

Alice giggled, "Not going to be a problem his high school girlfriend will be home and at the house the whole time."

"That little shit." I laughed so hard, it was just what I needed.

That was the first time I spent a holiday the Cullen's house. Alice was right. Edward's high school girlfriend was there the entire time, making sure I knew she had claim to Edward. He actually looked concerned that I would rat him out.

Alice said that she knew about the "dating others" policy and did herself, but it didn't keep her from fawning all over Edward every time I walked into the room. She was exactly Edward's type; slutty, but classy, not too smart, not too stupid, beautiful but shallow.

I couldn't for the life of me figure out what he saw in me other than a challenge from my lack of interest.

Jasper and I texted constantly and talked a couple times while I was there and then I got a text saying he'd be out of touch for a few days. I tried so hard not to cry and watched the news with my fingernails in my mouth until I got the next text a few days later. He was back and fine.

When we finally got to talk I told Jasper that I had confided in Alice and that she was helping me to keep the secret and that it felt good to finally have someone to talk to about it and not have to keep everything such a secret anymore. Jasper was actually really relieved. He said that he feared that I wasn't telling anyone because I was having regrets or was embarrassed by being his wife. I felt so bad then.

I tried to explain that that was not it at all, but that I was worried and concerned about the school kicking me out of the dorms.

I hoped he understood. I would never regret being Jasper's wife, not for one minute. I would never change my mind, grow tired of waiting or want anyone else. Jasper Whitlock was my life, and always would be.

The semester was over; I actually did really, really well in all my classes. I guess focusing on school paid off. Edward wouldn't relent. It actually got worse after Christmas break at their house. Alice kept her promise and didn't utter a word to anyone. Each time Jasper was out of touch for a few days, she sat and held me while I worried and cried. Each time he came back, she celebrated with me.

Spring break came and Jasper managed to get leave, we met in Florida and spent most of the week in the hotel room. We ventured out to eat a few times, but ordered room service mostly. I didn't want to leave Jasper's arms for a minute.

When we met at the airport I ran into his arms, jumping on him, we kissed for what seemed like hours, just standing in the concourse. We managed to get to the hotel and didn't even get fully undressed before making love the first time.

We talked non-stop. Jasper told me about the people in his unit, the basics of work. I could always tell when we hit the wall of his comfort zone. He would smile, sadly, and play with my hair and then ask me about school or Alice and whether I had any other friends. I told him about Edward and what a pain in the ass he was. He laughed and we joked about what would happen when he found out I was married.

I was surprised Jasper wasn't jealous.

"Jasper, it doesn't bother you that Edward is constantly hitting on me?" I asked.

"Nope, you know why?" Jasper pulled me closer to him, his hands on the waistband of my shorts, pulling.

"I know why you shouldn't be, but tell me why you aren't." I smiled and placed my hands on his chest, looking up at him.

I felt the button on my shorts opening and the zipper tugging down.

"Jasper, what are you doing?" I laughed.

"Showing you why I am not jealous of course." His hands slid my shorts down my hips and legs. I shimmied my hips and grinned as my pants fell to the floor.

"Oh? Why is that Jasper?" My breath caught in my throat as he cupped me in his hand, his thumb rubbing a circle on my tattoo as he moved to his knees in front of me.

"Well Bella, he clearly hasn't seen this, my little claim to you. I just think about this and know, you are all mine and always will be." He placed little kisses against the tattoo, tickling me as he did, his fingers, curling up along my slit.

"Is that so? Is that the only reason you aren't jealous?" My legs began to quiver as his fingers dipped inside me.

"Nope." Jasper's tongue swiped at me and I moaned out loud.

"Jasper, I... damn it Jasper, that feels too good, now tell me why."

Jasper chuckled and stood up, leading me to the bed, pushing me back, sitting at the edge as he backed up.

"Because Bella, I belong to you and there will never be another." Jasper lifted his shirt, exposing his chest, the tattoo across the left side of it"

"JASPER!" I looked up at him shocked at the heart with _Bella _inscribed through the center of it.

"So you see, I know exactly what that heart means to you Bella," he said with a smile, eyeing my tattoo.

"Oh, Jasper, I love you so much."

"Not as much as I love you Bella Whitlock."

I laughed, loving when he called me that.

"Now, it seems we are both half naked already, and you are on the bed." Jasper wagged his brows.

I crooked my finger egging him on, wanting him more than ever; wanting to trace that heart with my fingers, my tongue, to kiss its edges and each letter of my name. I pulled him to the bed as he walked to me, stepping out of his jeans as he did.

He lay back against the pillows, propped on his arms. I spent forever tracing the tattoo, kissing him, his chest, his abs, and his sweet lips. I missed my curls, and tangling my fingers in them. Those green eyes were still mesmerizing to me, the way they changed based on his mood, his hunger for me. They were dark jade right then.

"I want you Bella, so much, please, stop teasing me." Jasper pulled my chin up to him, staring into my eyes. I felt my whole body shudder at just his look alone.

"Good, I want you too Jasper, make love to me." I collapsed on top of him, my lips crashing down to his, kissing him feverishly."

He flipped us over, hovering over me, while we kissed. My fingers still tracing the heart on his chest as his body came to rest between my legs, against my stomach. Jasper entered me slowly, his face contorting as he pushed further in, his mouth inches above mine. My hips rocked up against his, wanting more, needing to feel him deeper.

"God Bella, I miss you so much."

"I miss you too Jasper, but it makes this that much sweeter babe, when we can be together."

My lips kissed soft gentle pecks against his jaw, his throat. I didn't want to stop. My back arched up toward Jasper, trying desperately to get closer. My little fingers grasped at his arms, not even close to being able to circle the muscles that seemed to have grown even larger since he left. My hand slid up his arm and over his shoulder, down his tight pectorals and lower. The tips of my fingers traced the exquisite six-pack that was his abdomen. I looked down realizing just how perfect his body was. So strong and sleek, clothing really hid it.

I gasped and blushed as he pushed up on his hands, looking down at me laughing, "Bella are you checking me out?"

Giggling, I said, "Yeah, you are one sexy soldier my husband."

He moved his hips faster and took my wrists in one hand holding them over my head. "Damn, Bella, that is so hot."

I lifted my legs, wrapping them around his waist, angling my hips up to him as he hit deeper and harder with each movement of his hips. My walls tightening around him, feeling every ridge as his cock moved inside me. I squeezed tight, as my eyes rolled back in my head. One leg slid up, under his arm and hooked over his shoulder.

I was moaning and screaming out to him as my body bucked and shook. The orgasm rocking me from head to toe, I had never felt anything like the intensity of that release before.

Jasper grunted and screamed out before collapsing on top of me. We lay there completely spent, panting and shaking.

"Fuck, Bella, that was...unbelievable," Jasper huffed out through stuttered breath.

My hands were still in his grip, my fingers wrapped tight around the slats of the headboard, knuckles white. I was surprised I had not broken it with the hold I had had on it.

"Jasper, my god that was unlike anything I ever felt before, I think that's what they call multiple orgasms."

Jasper's lips crashed against mine, they tangled kissing hard and furiously against each other, we were a mash of tongues and teeth and lips, our hands coveting each other's bodies, unable to get our fill, trying in some way to completely consume one another.

By the time the week was over I felt like everything would be alright again. Whenever we were together, I always had a renewed sense of hope and faith. It was the being apart that was killing me.

When I got back to school after break I decided to get a job. There was a bar in town that was hiring all female bartenders. I decided to apply.

I walked in, just when the owner was kicking out a girl that she had just caught stealing. I felt so sorry for her; she seemed so discouraged when she commented on how difficult it was to find honest people. I swallowed the lump in my throat and asked what she was looking for in a bartender. We sat and talked for awhile. She introduced herself as Carmen and before we finished talking she offered me the job without my even filling out an application. I filled one out to give her the information she would need and we agreed on a salary and a schedule.

I came in three times a week for training and to learn the bar. Corin was new also and we both learned the ropes together. She was beyond beautiful, but so nice. At first I was so intimidated to work with her; she was every guys dream, tall, leggy, buxom blond and on the Pom squad. By the end of the first week I was laughing with her over the lame pick up lines we laughed off. I found out that she was really smart and couldn't be less interested in the guys. Like me, she was here for the money and the flexible schedule. Corin had a serious boyfriend. I met Santiago the first week when he came to pick her up.

We ended up working the same schedule for awhile so that Carmen could train us herself. It was a bit overwhelming at first and it would be awhile before I could work a weekend night behind the bar, but it kept my mind off of missing Jasper and gave me a valid excuse for not going to parties.

Alice came in every time I worked and always over-tipped and under drank. I appreciated it more than I could ever say. Alice had become my very best friend. There was nothing she wouldn't do for me, and nothing I wouldn't do for her.

Jasper and I had set up a schedule for video calls once a week, Alice was a trooper and she would always leave just before our call and not come back until well after. She covered for me on countless occasions when someone was in our room and it got close to time for a call. She would always make some excuse for why she had to go somewhere and drag them with her. It helped that no one ever said no to Alice.

One night, Jasper called early and Alice was still in the room, setting up the laptop for me while I freshened up in the bathroom. Alice had no choice but to answer the call, so I wouldn't miss him. Alice and Jasper finally got to meet.

I walked in as Jasper was thanking Alice for taking care of his girl and helping us out. Alice giggled telling him he better keep me happy and she waved goodbye as she skipped out of the room.

"So, that's Alice huh? She sure is a firecracker Bella." Jasper laughed.

"Yep, she is, you have no idea." I laughed and we talked for the next hour.

The next week was finals and I was studying so much I barely had time to write to Jasper all week. He texted just after my last final to tell me he'd be out of touch for awhile. It ended up being nearly three weeks of nearly no contact.

I worried and wondered where he was just like always. There was nothing on the news, and although I had learned that that meant nothing, I was still having trouble dealing with the silence. My mind went to the darkest place no matter how hard I tried not to let it.

Deep down I knew Jasper would never stray, but being half way around the world and apart for almost a year now, it was hard keep the terrible thoughts from running through my head.

The semester was over. I registered for two summer classes. Alice had decided to stay too and of course Edward. We went home to their house for the first week before classes started. The scary high school girlfriend was around so it gave us a break from Edward at least. I was starting feel like he was a constant fixture in my life. Jasper's absence and Edward's near constant presence was like a cruel punishment.

I went home to see Charlie for the next week. It was nice to get a break from all things Cullen too. I loved Alice, but it was really nice to sleep in my own bed and not have anyone waking me up or have to make my bed. I left it unmade the entire week and uncharacteristically left my clothes thrown all over the room. It felt good just to be irresponsible for a few days.

Charlie worked all day so we only saw each other for dinner and watched some television in the evening. He questioned me about things with Jasper and whether it was working out alright with him gone.

I stayed positive and upbeat, telling Charlie about all the video calls and letters and how I actually talked to Jasper a lot more than most of the other kids talked to their boyfriends and girlfriends at different schools. I told him about the job and the classes.

Charlie asked how I was fixed for money and I bit my tongue. I was doing fine, Jasper's salary was enough for room and board and spending money, I really didn't spend that much anyway, I didn't really go out. When we did go out to eat, Edward or Alice always insisted on paying, money was such a triviality to both of them.

I was nervous about having enough for tuition though. My loans and grants and small scholarship covered it, but I was going to have to pay some of it back. I tried to ear mark money each month for the payments so we wouldn't have to go into the salary then and take away from our living expenses in the future.

Charlie handed me a check for a thousand dollars and told me to use it for tuition. I was so relieved. He commented that we were doing better than he would have given us credit for and that he was proud of us.

I visited Jasper's parents while I was home too. We shared stories of Jasper and his mom pulled out pictures from his childhood. We sat around and laughed at the tiny towhead in the baby pool on a military base. We laughed at the toddler, holding the regulation bat, nearly twice his size. I was in awe at the images of my husband as a preschooler standing in front of a fighter jet with cotton candy in his hand.

For the first time images flashed before my eyes of our future children, growing up on a military base, with an absent parent. Would they look like Jasper, have his messy mop of curls and his brilliant green eyes, or would they look like me, dark hair and eyes. I could see a toddler with dark brown curls and green eyes toting a younger sister with blonde locks and big brown eyes.

By the time I left the Whitlock house I was more nervous about the future than I had been in a long time. Where was our future? Where would we end up? Would we ever have those children?

I returned to campus slightly nervous, worrying about the future. Jasper called the first night back and knew right away something was bothering me. When I told him what it was I heard the heavy sigh on the other end of the phone. I knew then that we had just hit a wall. We talked about it, but there was a shift, from both of us. I didn't shed a tear; I just knew that our lives, our marriage had somehow changed in that moment.

I worked the rest of the summer and went to school. I wrote to Jasper every day and received letters nearly every day from him. We talked once a week over video and usually texted or talked each day. Nothing really changed, but everything had changed.

Jasper came home for two weeks right before the new semester started. We spent most of it with his parents and Charlie. We stayed at this parent's house. I had to work three days while he was home and drove to and from Seattle. He spent the time with his parents and getting things he needed, done.

We spent our alone time holding each other, reassuring one another that nothing had changed, that there were no regrets, that we were still on target, still in agreement over our future. I was still more in love with Jasper than ever. I was also more terrified than I would ever admit.

* * *

Happy New Years everyone, thank you for sticking with me and the story. See ya next year.


	9. Bars and Wars Chapter 9

Bars and Wars

Chapter 9

The semester started and my schedule at the bar increased. I worked 4 nights a week and was taking 20 credit hours. My days were insane, my nights were worse. I wrote to Jasper every chance I got and at best it was four, maybe five letters a week.

I hit the library hard the nights I was not working. Every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I studied in the same tiny cubicle from dinner until closing. Right behind me, every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday night, the same blond haired god sat; studying. After two weeks we started nodding hello to each other every night. By the third week we were saying goodnight as we were the last ones to leave, and he held the door for me.

It was a month later when Blondie smuggled in a coffee for me. After that we started bringing each other snacks of some kind every night. I still didn't know his name, and in a way, he reminded me of Jasper. I laughed one night as he held the door for me, thinking of Jasper and that first day of school in Forks.

We began to talk and study together, quizzing each other, challenging one another. We would place bets, and design rewards; if we could both finish a chapter by a certain time, we could have a break and a snack. It really helped kill the monotony.

Life had settled into a pretty fair routine; classes, library, stalking the mailbox, work, and rejecting Edward. Jasper and I managed to video chat once a week for awhile. By thanksgiving, we missed a couple weeks in a row, he was out of reach and I went to the Cullen's for Thanksgiving.

Finals came around and I was studying like a maniac. I was studying longer, harder, spending more and more time with library dude. Friday night I was working behind the bar, pouring shots for Edward and a couple of his friends. Alice was drinking wine, laughing at Edward for starting shots after being hung over. I heard a familiar voice and looked up into a mess of blond curls.

"Hey, library rat, this is where you work?" He took the stool next to Alice, who had turned her back to berate Edward.

"Hey two creams and three sugars, what can I get ya?" I laughed wiping down the bar and flipped a cardboard coaster in front of him.

"Give me a beer and a shot of Jack."

I sat a bottle of MGD on the coaster and poured the shot of Jack.

"Ohhh, Jack, I'll have a shot of…." Alice spun around in her stool just as library dude did and she stopped speaking.

I watched blondie's mouth fall open as he met Alice's eyes.

"Peter. Peter Grant." His hand shot out to take Alice's.

"Alice. Alice Cullen." Her tiny hand slipped inside his.

"It's very nice to meet you Alice, Alice Cullen."

"Oh dear God. Alice, my roommate, this is Peter, apparently, better known as library dude." I rolled my eyes at the pair of them and poured another round of Jack.

Edward looked over at his sister, then to me and burst out laughing. "Well fuck, aint that some shit, I've been hitting on you for a year and half, not one lousy look, this guy walks in and my sister goes down like a buck in hunting season."

"Edward, shut up," Alice and I said at the same time.

Alice and Peter talked all night. They never seemed to run out of things to say and tuned everyone around them completely out. Peter escorted us home after I closed the bar, and I was fighting sleep in my bed waiting for Alice to come up to the room. I had to hand it to her; she actually kept him downstairs in the common area and didn't bring him to the room.

Peter started walking me home from the library every night and hanging out with Alice for awhile. I think it was just an excuse to see her more often.

Finals ended, I aced my classes. Jasper and I caught up on video conference right after my last exam. Peter joined us at the Cullen's for Christmas Eve. I was even lonelier than ever before watching Alice with Peter and Edward with his high school girlfriend. She didn't even bother trying to intimidate me anymore. Now she just looked at me with pity in her eyes.

I drove home Christmas morning and spent the day with Charlie and my in-laws. Jasper called during dinner and everyone got a chance to talk to him. I stayed on the phone with him for over an hour making dinner late.

"Bella, I miss you so much babe. How was the semester, did you get the rest of your grades? I bet you did great babe." The line was full of static and we had to keep repeating ourselves.

"Yeah, I did babe, I pulled a 4.0 again this semester. Hell, all I do is study and work," I laughed.

"How's work, still making great tips?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah, the money is really good babe, we barely need to go into your paycheck anymore, we have quite a bit in savings now. How is work for you babe?"

"It sucks, don't worry about it though, things are bound to get easier soon. So how is Alice? Did you guys have a nice Christmas Eve?"

"Yeah, Alice is great, she met someone. They are inseparable," I laughed telling Jasper all about Alice and Peter.

I could hear Jasper's spirit sink in his voice.

"I bet that is hard on you Bella, seeing Alice happy and with her boyfriend all the time. I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry you have to be alone all the time."

"Don't you do that Jasper Whitlock. You know we have a plan, you know I don't care about any of that."

"I know babe, I'm sorry. I just miss you so much. Another one of the guys got a Dear John letter last week, I don't know, I just, I feel bad that your alone again this Christmas."

"Well, don't. Everything is fine Jasper and I am not alone, I am with our family. Hey I have a Christmas present for you, can you turn on video later tonight?"

"Yeah, Bella, I think I should be able to, they are pretty lenient for the holiday today."

We had dinner, exchanged gifts, and Charlie and I went home. I told Charlie I was going to sleep, went up to my room, changed into the Christmas lingerie I bought and fired up my lap top and waited for Jasper to get on.

I lounged across the bed, nervous and fidgeting until the screen started coming into view. I saw those green eyes staring at me from the laptop on my desk. I saw his mouth drop before I heard the words. "Bella, holy shit!"

"Well hi there you naughty boy, I hear you might need a little punishment for all those lascivious thoughts you have had this year." I felt a little awkward, but really wanted to do this for Jasper, for me too, just to feel close to him. It had been so long since we had been together.

My fingertips began trailing down my breasts, circling over my nipples, while Jasper stared a moment in disbelief. "Fuck, Bella, hang on."

I watched as Jasper slipped ear buds in his ears and pulled the cover down over his bunk. I smirked and leaned forward, my legs spread wide, my upper body well over my lap, my arms squeezing my breasts together, showing off the bra enhanced cleavage. I shook my hair out over my shoulders, while my tongue traced my lower lip.

I let my fingers trail down my stomach, watching Jasper's eyes follow my fingers; his hand disappeared down the front of his suddenly opened fatigues. That sight alone nearly made me come undone, I was dripping wet already and secretly glad I had laid out a bath towel before I started.

"Now tell me my naughty soldier boy, where would these hands be if they were yours?" I winked at him and bit my bottom lip, crooking my head, looking up through my lashes into those green eyes.

"Oh shit baby, roll your nipples for me, do it through the bra first." Jasper voice was gruff and low, going straight to my core.

"Like this soldier?" I teased, circling both nipples, above the lace, then pushing it down, letting the hardened nipples peek over the top, the cup of the bra pushing both tits up higher, the nipples taunting Jasper as I sucked my fingers and then returned them to rolling the peaks.

"Oh fuck, Bella, please, baby, please I want to see your naked body, please." His arm was moving faster, the head of his cock, peeking out for me as he stroked his shaft.

I quickly stripped for him, trying to dance and sway my hips without leaving the camera angle. "Better baby?" I asked when I was finally naked.

"Baby, will you, I mean, would you mind, I really want to watch you cum, will you finger yourself for me?" Jasper looked at me with such lust in his eyes, I felt myself growing wetter.

"I have a better idea Jasper." I pulled the dildo from under the pillow and held it up in front of the camera, stroking it; running my fingers over the tip, in a circle. "How about if I pretend this is you and I plunge it in and out of my pussy for you?"

I could hear him groaning, trying hard to keep it down, and I could see his hand jerking. I felt so powerful, like I still owned his thoughts and heart. I had all the confidence in the world as I lay back against the headboard, so that I could see the screen and Jasper could still see me and I spread my legs wide. I slid my hand down and began gathering the wet slippery substance, raising it to my mouth, licking it from my fingers, eyes glued to Jasper's.

"Fuck, you are so hot Bella." Jasper released into his hand, moaning, as I snickered, sliding the dildo between my legs.

"I'm ready for you, baby, are you ready to fuck me?" I teased Jasper, sliding the toy along the length of my slit.

"Do it Bella, fuck, I need to see you cum for me baby. I want to be the one making you cum."

"You are baby, trust me, it's all you, making me this wet and driving me so wild."

I slid the toy inside and imagined it was Jasper. I let go and just kept plunging faster and harder, thinking about his body on top of mine, the weight of him as he moved, the slow build of sweat that covered our bodies as the rocked together and glided effortlessly against one another.

"Oh God, Bella, oh my God, I have never seen anything so hot in all my life. Please baby, don't stop; twist your wrist. Yes, just like that, yes, yes." The lust in Jasper's voice, the hooded look of his eyes, kept me going, even though I felt the sensation in my belly, the orgasm building.

"Oh, Jasper, oh baby, my god, oh the way you look at me, fuck Jasper, baby I can't hold on much longer," I moaned out in panted breaths, my body shaking.

"Just a little longer Bella, please baby, please."

Jasper's pleas made me feel like every bit of the nervousness and anxiety about doing this for him was worth it. I had planned for weeks, shopped for the perfect lingerie. Actually going into one of those stores to buy the dildo was mortifying in itself. The performance anxiety was like none I had ever felt before. I tried practicing with the toy but felt so dirty and so weird about it, that I almost didn't do it at all.

I didn't really decide to go through with it until I talked to him at dinner. He was so down and feeling so bad about me being alone for Christmas that I just knew I had to go through with it, no matter how awkward I felt about it.

The dildo seemed to take on a mind of its own, as though Jasper really were here, and it was him, not a piece of silicone taking me, making me feel like I was going to explode at any second.

"Bella, use your other hand, rub your clit for me, please Bella, do it the way I always do, do it for me, please baby."

I lowered my other hand, I tried to make a show of its exploration down my body, pinching one nipple as it passed my breast. Fingertips glided over my stomach, walked over my mound and I felt my tongue slide over my lips as my middle finger found my little nub and started sliding back and forth around it.

"OH FUCK ME," Jasper cried out, his hand began moving again over his shaft. I saw it jerk then my eyes rolled back and began closing.

My finger rubbed hard against it, my legs shook, the dildo pumped fast and furious, hitting my g-spot, my walls, I clenched around Jasper's dick. It was Jasper fucking me then. It wasn't the toy anymore. With my eyes closed and his voice directing me and the sound of his hard fast breath, panting and groaning, it was him.

"Jasper, Jasper, oh god, oh god, oh Jasper, please baby, please let me cum baby, oh fuck I need you so bad baby, please, please let me cum for you."

"Cum Bella, cum for me baby, let me see you cum for me." Jasper was in the room with me, his voice, gruff and low, he commanded in my ear and my body responded.

"UHHHHH, fuuucckkk, ohhhh JASPER!"

I came undone, every inch of my body on fire. I screamed out, my legs clenched together tightly, my hips bucked off the mattress. My fingers slowed and I stopped pumping. I heard Jasper's voice and slowly opened my eyes, to look at him.

The tears rolling down his cheeks were the last thing I expected to see.

"Bella, thank you, thank you so much baby. Next to your heart, that is the single best gift I have ever received."

I looked at him, all embarrassment gone, I felt so proud at his words. I was so happy that he was so touched by what I had done. I knew then it would not be the last time we did that.

"You're welcome my husband, only for you, baby."

"Well I don't know how you will ever top this Christmas Bella, it may take you the next 70 years and I don't think you will ever be able to give me a gift that special." Jasper began teasing, as he sat up straighter in his bed.

I sat up, crawling over the bed to lay on my stomach, closer to the laptop, closer to Jasper.

"I am going to pretend I am curled up in your arms and fall asleep baby," I said with a smile.

"God I love you Bella Whitlock."

"I love you too Jasper."

"Goodnight baby."

"Goodnight husband."

I woke in the morning the computer still on, the program idle. No Jasper next to me, holding me in his arms. I was okay with that. I knew we had reconnected a bit that night and I knew we would get through it.

I drove back to school a couple days later and mailed a stack of letters on the way out of town.

I was back at work until classes resumed. It was fairly quiet though without all the students back in town. Alice came back early to spend time with Peter. I started trying to read ahead for some of my classes.

School started back and so did the routine. Work, school, library.

Jasper took leave for Spring break and we took a much needed vacation. We met in Florida and just relaxed. Jasper said the last thing he wanted to do was lay on a beach, so we did some tourist stuff, hit Disney and Universal, walking the parks hand in hand. We rode the rides and watched parades. We acted like kids and took pictures with the characters and laughed until I thought I would cry.

We made love more times than I could count. Each time more mind blowing that the time before it.

The week went much too fast. Jasper flew back to Seattle with me and went home for three days, while I returned to school. He caught a military flight back out so I didn't get to see him again before he left. I think we used 4,000 minutes of cell time during those three days alone.

The letters picked up in frequency for both of us for a couple months and the topics were always the same. I would tell Jasper every single excruciating detail of my days and he would ask question after question about school, work, Alice and Peter. He would tell me every thought he had about me and how much he loved me and every memory of the two of us together. He even started telling me what he imagined he was doing to my body every night when he went to sleep.

The one thing missing from every single letter was what he was doing. I had no idea where he was, what he did all day, whether he liked what he was doing, or whether he was good at it. I told him every class, quiz, grade and chapter topic and he told me nothing.

The year ended and I decided to stay for summer. I didn't want to jeopardize my job, and I could lighten my load for next year by taking a couple classes. Alice and Edward both stayed. I think Alice stayed because Peter stayed. Edward stayed to avoid his "girlfriend" and pick up the new crop of women that called Seattle home but left for school.

Work was a lot of fun and I started to make new friends with a couple of the girls. I hung out a lot with Corin and Rose. They were both so beautiful it was intimidating. Neither of them ever treated me as anything less than their equal though.

We worked side by side all summer; after awhile we started hanging out outside work. We shopped, which Alice loved, and went out for lunches and dinners. Corin's boyfriend, Santiago got along really well with Peter so we tended to go out as a big group quite often.

Fall semester was into full swing when we hired a new bouncer. The dude was huge, and looked and acted like your typical dumb jock. He was anything but. One look at Rose and the big lug went down like a ton of bricks. That in itself was hardly unusual; most guys fell at her feet. What made this hilarious to watch was that Rose fell nearly as hard. Rose and Emmett started dating almost immediately.

Our group outings were getting bigger, and I was the only single one. Edward always had a different date, or sometimes he would attempt to force the awkward, Bella and Edward as a date, since we were the only ones not with someone.

Once again I found myself insisting that I wasn't interested in being fixed up with anyone's "friend" and not to worry about me. I even had to endure several uncomfortable evenings of, some friend of someone's joining us for dinner or a night out.

Just like freshman year, it eventually died down and Alice and I got a good laugh. I kept Jasper up to date and his letters would ask about the latest savior for Bella.

The letters drifted fewer and farther between again. We still talked periodically and we did repeat the Skype call more frequently, but even that had begun to dwindle by the middle of junior year when we again met for Spring break.

Jasper looked older, and he looked tired. I wondered whether he had been faithful for the first time, but quickly dismissed the thoughts and focused on enjoying our time together. By the end of the week it again felt like we had never been apart.

Jasper still told me nothing of any significance about his work or how he spent his days. The tone of his letters slowly took on a darker side, angrier, more hostile. It was subtle, and I doubt anyone that didn't know him the way I did would even pick up on it.

I did. I knew Jasper was changing, and if I was honest with myself, so was I.


	10. Chapter 10

Bars and Wars Chapter 10

Junior year was quite the challenge. I added a second major and worked my ass off. I was barely taking time to eat anymore, between work, classes and studying. I only went out about twice a month and only because Alice dragged me. Edward was relentless; he was driving me crazy, constantly bringing me food and coffee and demanding that I eat. I suppose I should have been grateful, I had usually forgotten to eat for a full 24 hours when he did that.

It was Halloween before I realized I hadn't written Jasper in over a week and only once in the month of October. By Thanksgiving I had only received two more letters from him. We spent the month of November with no Skype calls and only two phone calls.

When Christmas came, I drove home with Edward so that Alice could ride with Peter. I pretended to sleep the entire way so that I wouldn't have to deal with his questioning. His "girlfriend" was home so I didn't have to deal with his crap. We all had a very nice holiday. Peter was a regular fixture at the house now and Alice's parents just loved him. I was beginning to feel like the odd man out, a lot.

Christmas morning, like the two previous years I drove home to Charlie's house. We spent the morning together and then headed to Jasper's parents for our annual family Christmas dinner. I was looking forward to talking to Jasper and hoped we were able to Skype dinner with him.

Charlie parked and took the gifts while I carried in the pies I had made that afternoon. I was half way up the walk when the door flew open and my husband came running out to meet me. I dropped the pies to the ground and tears began flooding my eyes. My vision was so blurred by the time the strong arms grabbed my waist and lifted me I could barely see his beautiful smile.

"Oh baby, baby you're here, you're really here. Let me see you," I cried out.

"Not until I get a kiss."

I felt Jasper's lips on mine and heard Charlie chuckle and groan about dessert being ruined as he closed the front door behind him.

We kissed out front of the house for a full ten minutes before, finally, Jasper said, "Baby, you are freezing, let's get you inside."

I looked down and realized I was bundled in a ski jacket and boots and Jasper was barefoot in jeans and a shirt. "Jasper! How can you not be cold?"

Jasper shrugged and took my hand leading me inside.

"Now it is you who will never top this Christmas Jasper, this is the best gift I could have ever asked for."  
It was the best Christmas dinner I had ever had. Everyone was so happy that Jasper was home. His parents were beaming, and I never let go of his hand. I ate with my left hand just so I wouldn't have to let go.

Jasper's mother grinned and snickered every time she looked at us; I heard her say more than once, "I told you both," pointedly looking at our fathers.

Jasper and I cleaned the table and did the dishes. It was really just an excuse to have some time alone in the kitchen together. It was like we had never been apart. Like we cooked and cleaned side by side every single day. We fit together like peas in a pod. When Jasper backed me against the counter and started kissing me, I giggled, remembering the first time he ever kissed me.

We opened gifts and played silly games. Charlie finally announced he was going home and he'd see us in the morning. I kissed him goodbye and thanked him for letting me be surprised. He said, next time I wouldn't be allowed to carry the pie. He laughed and kissed my cheek saying, "Enjoy your time with your husband."

We stayed up talking and making love all night, the next day we lay snuggled up together in bed until well into the afternoon. Jasper snuck down to get us something to eat and came back laughing, saying his parents went to the summer house for a couple days. We had the house to ourselves.

I called Charlie to let him know I was going to come home for clothes and he laughed saying he had dropped my bags off so we didn't have to get out of bed, they were at the front entry. I was mortified.

For the first time in our marriage we actually got to play house, for a whole week. We cooked together and cleaned up after ourselves, together. We argued about the toothpaste and Jasper complained I didn't fold his shirts correctly. We did some shopping and I kept putting the junk food back on the shelves as quickly as Jasper threw it in the cart.

We laughed so hard and held each other tight. The only time we went out, we went to see a movie and made out in the back of the theater the entire time. I couldn't even tell you the name of the movie. I felt like a high school girl and an old married couple at the same time.

The week went way too fast and Jasper had to leave. I had another day home with Charlie before heading back to school. I felt so much better about our marriage and our future. But I always felt that way whenever we were together. It was the absences that took their toll.

I drove back to school realizing, Jasper never told me a single thing about work, once again. Honestly we were too busy just playing house and trying to be a normal couple that we didn't really talk about much of anything other than a couple serious conversations about money, budget and bills.

When I got to our Condo, Alice, Peter and Edward were already home. Alice was making dinner, which was customary for Sunday evenings. Edward helped me in with my bags and Alice took one look at me and dragged me into my bedroom.

I had one of the bedrooms and baths to myself, Alice and Peter shared the Master bedroom and Edward had the other bed and bath. Once Edward declared he was going to stay in Seattle after undergrad for Medical school, the Cullen's decided it was more economical to buy a condominium as an investment than to pay room and board any longer. Of course, since they were claiming it as investment property, they refused to accept a dime from Peter or myself.

"Ok, I know that look, spill it," Alice demanded as she started unpacking my bags, hanging clothes up as she spoke.

"Jasper came home for Christmas," I squealed.

"OH My God and you didn't call me. No, strike that, of course you didn't call me, your mouth probably wasn't free the entire week."

"ALICE!"

"What, am I wrong?"

I giggled, "No."

We swapped stories about our guys and giggled like silly girls. I was so happy, even Edward couldn't bother me.

Business at the bar was picking up and I was taking on more and more responsibility there. None of the others really wanted it. It was hard enough on a couple working weekend nights, but to have to work every weekend both nights really only worked for someone without a social life. That was me. Good old Bella, the one without a social life.

I really didn't care. It was good money and better experience. When I added Hotel Restaurant Management as a major, Carmen started letting me in on more and more facets of running the bar. It was like my very own customized internship. I got to practice what everyone else was only seeing in the classroom.

In addition to managing the schedules, and inventory Carmen started teaching me the books. By Spring break I had been given the title of assistant manager and a size-able raise to compensate for the amount of time I was now spending on the other side of the bar foregoing tips.

I was anxious to start practicing some new techniques I was learning in school and Carmen never lost patience with me. She would let me try things and learn for myself and then sit down with me and analyze why they did or didn't work. I was learning so much more that way than just the theoretical.

By summer, Carmen was at the bar less and less. I was there more and more, and I was writing and talking to Jasper less and less. Weeks would go by and I'd realize that I hadn't written once or that I hadn't gotten a letter. Jasper was off on some mission the entire month of June and we never talked once.

It was the fourth of July and we were having a barbecue for all the employees at Carmen's home.  
Alice and Peter somehow managed to get invited as did Edward. Emmett was manning the grill and Rose was helping him. Corin was serving drinks and her boyfriend Santiago was playing DJ on Carmen's very expensive system. Mike, the newest bouncer was rejecting Tanya and Lauren and I snickered, knowing, full well, why.

I watched Tanya set her sights on Edward the moment he walked in. I was relieved; I wouldn't have to deal with him for once.

The party was in full swing when suddenly Jasper's ringtone sounded and I ran for the house. He was back from wherever he had been and anxious to talk. He actually complained about work. He was going on and on about a bunch of morons and spewing acronyms and terms I had no idea the meaning of. I finally realized Jasper was drunk.

I was livid.

"Jasper Whitlock. Damn it, are you drunk?"

"What? I had a few. You work in a bar, you telling me you never had a few?" His tone was judgmental and condescending.

"Jasper, that isn't the point, I thought you were finally opening up to me, and it turns out it's just the liquor talking. I'm hurt Jasper."

"Bella, get over it; you know I can't talk about what I do. Trust me, you don't want to know what I do, you don't want any part of what I do. Besides, where are you? It sounds like a party and you're going to judge me? While you live your cushy little life, I'm not entitled to one night out?"

"Jasper, how dare you."

"Little hypocritical isn't it Bella?"

We had a major fight while I stood in the middle of Carmen's home office, trying to be as quiet as I could possibly be, so that no one would hear me. After ten minutes of arguing he spit out the worst possible apology and hung up on me. I had never been so angry with him before.  
Here is sat, thinking he was miserable and working all the time and keeps everything from me to protect me and he is out getting hammered.

I snuck out the front door and drove straight home and cried for two days. Alice finally came in and demanded I get my ass out of bed and back to my life. I screamed, "What life? I have no life, my life is half way around the fucking world getting drunk and who knows what else."

"Bella, don't do this to yourself, you know he loves you. So what if he got drunk, he is probably stressed." Alice made the excuses for Jasper that I wouldn't; that I couldn't.

I knew it wasn't like Jasper and that was what worried me the most. What else had changed? I felt like I didn't know him anymore. Maybe we weren't going to make it. I got up, showered and ate something. Alice had told everyone I had gotten sick and had a stomach bug, so Peter and Edward both kept their distance.

I buried myself in homework and tried to rationalize the fight.

Jasper had called and left messages apologizing and I just started crying all over again when I heard them. I listened to the messages over and over, just to hear the tone in his voice, the desperation, the longing. I called him back and it went straight to voicemail. I realized it was the middle of the night for him and he was likely asleep.

I cried for hours, afraid my marriage was over. Alice assured me that all married couples had fights it didn't mean doom. I guess that was part of my problem. I never really saw a married couples daily interactions. I had no idea how married couples behaved.

Every fight felt like end to me, like we would end up hating each other forever.

I guess I really did have some growing up to do. I wanted to make things alright again; so that even when we had fights we could work it out, not let it destroy us. I just didn't know how to do that.  
I was worried that we just didn't have enough of a foundation to make a marriage last four years without seeing each other. Would we even know each other at the end of the separation? Would we be able to live together when this was over?

By the time Jasper and I finally got to talk, we just dropped the whole fight. We both apologized but we never really talked about what happened. We didn't deal with whatever the underlying issue was. Honestly, how did you go about dealing with the fact that there was no communication in your marriage?

We never talked about it again. It sat there, festering under the surface, like everything else; building, mounting, creating an insurmountable barrier.

The rest of the summer flew by and Jasper and I only talked a few times. We had a couple naughty Skype sessions and exchanged a few letters. We had no plans to see each other any time soon and school started with a bang. I actually had a decent course load after all the summers of taking classes.

I was working non-stop at the bar, making money hand over fist. Carmen was gone more and more and she let me run things my way.

I was spending more and more time out with Alice and Rose and Corin and with the whole group. I was even getting along with Edward better. I just stopped fighting it all the time, and let him pretend I was his date when we went out with the group.

I knew he could have brought anyone he wanted, but once I started agreeing to just go with the flow, he stopped bringing dates all together and insisted on treating me as his date. I wouldn't allow him to kiss me or take it any farther. He teased and talked up a storm, but he never pushed himself on me. I was actually really surprised. He seemed to actually start to respect that I just wasn't interested.

Alice brought it up several times when we were alone and Rose and Corin asked repeatedly why I wouldn't just date him or fuck him already. I always deflected, and Alice was my ever vigilant protector.

We laughed our asses off one weekend when she told me that Corin and Rose told her that if I was gay it was nothing they would freak over.

I was actually having fun just hanging out with my friends for the first time since I had started college. I could drink like a sailor by then, my tolerance high, just by virtue of doing shots with customers at the bar. It seemed as though I could drink all night and never be drunk or hung over.

That probably wasn't a good thing; that was when I started allowing the bartenders to serve body shots. It certainly increased the draw to the bar. The weekends were becoming so crowded I had to convince Carmen it was time to hire additional staff.

For the longest time I would never indulge in the body shots. I missed Jasper entirely too much and the thought of someone else touching me made my skin crawl. I guess in some ways I thought of it as being unfaithful to him. Regardless of the fact nobody would ever be allowed to kiss me much less anything else.

Jasper came home for Christmas and we managed to spend an entire week together. I finally decided it was time to start demanding some answers. The day after Christmas his parents went away for the weekend, giving us some time alone.

I told him how I had been feeling and needed more open communication. Jasper say me down and proceeded to tell me that several of his friends from basic had been killed in action, several wounded and several others, divorced. He told me several had cheated, meaningless sex with prostitutes or girls in bars.

I sat, listened with tears in my eyes to the entire story. By the end I was in Jasper's lap crying and apologizing for pushing.

"Bella, I never, I would never, I will never, but I didn't want to tell you those things and have you home thinking, wondering and worrying. I am just so sick of watching some of the shit. I finally have a group around me that feel the way I do, I guess you could say the unit's weeded itself out." Jasper soothed me and rocked me as he tried to explain.

"Jasper, I'm sorry, I trust you, but you are supposed to be able to tell me these things, I am your wife." I looked into those green eyes and saw such emptiness, such sorrow. I hated to think of the things he had seen.

"I'll try harder, okay babe?" He did, he talked more that week than he had in over a year.

Jasper was going to try to get leave to come back for my graduation, I wrote down the dates and secretly worried about when to tell the others about my husband. How the hell was I going to explain after all this time that I had been married all along?

As always, I felt so much better when I dropped him at the airport and went back to school.

I talked to Alice about how to tell the others and she convinced me to wait until just before graduation, just in case he couldn't come. I was never so glad I listened to Alice.

A week before graduation Jasper called, I could tell he was close to tears when he said, "All leaves have been cancelled because of this prick over here. They found a weapons stash and now we are on high alert."

I was so disappointed, but I did my best to tell him it didn't matter, I'd buy the video and we would watch it together when he came home. He apologized repeatedly, until we had to hang up.

It was the next night I went to work and had to fill in behind the bar. Rose was sick with a stomach bug and it was too late to call in anyone else. Corin and I managed pretty well together, Emmett was sweating and looking like hell half way through the night before I finally sent him home.

The crowd was rowdy and shots were flowing. A group of guys came in throwing cash down left and right. Corin was doing body shot after body shot and couldn't keep up. The group started chanting and pounding their bottles on the bar for me to step up and serve the body shots.

I was panicked. Edward walked in and saw what was going on and immediately stepped in.

"Bella only does shots for me," he bellowed out. I thought I was off the hook until they began chanting for Edward.

"Edward, Edward, Edward!"

It was ringing in my ears. Edward came up to the bar and whispered into my ear, "I promise, I won't do anything inappropriate." I nodded, climbed up on the bar and shimmied down.

Edward put on quite the show, but when it came to touching me, he kept it to a minimum and faked it more than anything. I was relieved and grateful at the time. Later, I was just annoyed that he declared himself the only one allowed to touch me.

We drove home together that night and he said that he was only trying to protect me. I nodded and said it was okay, but it annoyed me no end.

Graduation came. Charlie and the Whitlocks all drove down and cheered me on. We went to dinner and they headed back to Forks. Charlie understood why I wanted to stay in Seattle.

I was now managing the bar, Alice had gotten a job in town and Edward was still in Med School. Peter was starting Law School. Jasper's tour was up in six months and we had no idea where he'd be stationed next. It just worked better for me to stay.

* * *

Sorry this chapter took a bit of time. I hope you enjoyed it and I guess you can figure out that we are very, very close to the start of the story.


	11. Bars and Wars Chapter 11

Bars and Wars Chapter 11

One rainy Monday afternoon I was sitting at the desk in the office going over tax bills with Carmen when the distinctive ring-tone for Jasper sounded on the desk. Carmen's lips turned up in a slight smile as she excused herself, claiming she needed lunch. As she locked and shut the door behind her.

I answered, "Hello handsome."

"Well hi gorgeous." Jasper sounded happy. I could not help but smile every time I heard his voice now, no matter how much we went through.

"Everything okay baby?" I asked.

"Better than okay. I have two weeks leave coming up and I wondered if you would want to go on a real vacation Bella. I mean, school is over, we have the money." I could hear the excitement in Jasper's voice.

A vacation. A real vacation. It had been so long since we had done that.

"Oh Jasper, really? I would love that. Where would you like to go?" I could hear the excitement in my voice, and much as I tried, I could not reign it in.

"How about flying over and meeting me in Europe?" Jasper suggested.

Gasping, I stumbled over my response. " Really Jasper, oh my god, that would be awesome. Where?"

"How about we meet in London, we can decide later if we want to just stay there or travel around a bit." Jasper's words were like music to my ears.

Two weeks in Europe with my husband. I was positively giddy.

"That sounds great baby. When is your leave?"

We spent the next thirty minutes going over details, while I looked on line for flights. By the time we hung up I had booked a flight and made a hotel reservation for 4 nights. Just as we were saying our I love yous and missing yous Carmen knocked softly on the door.

I hung up and walked over to open the door for her, taking the bag of food she held out to me.

Carmen sat back down across the desk from me and just watched me for a few moments, smiling. Finally she shook her head and said, "I am glad he makes you happy, whoever he is. You need him, don't let anyone or anything come between you."

I looked up, and just smiled. "I am glad you think so, I need to take two weeks off next month."

Carmen laughed, agreed and we finished our paper work.

I called Charlie right after we finished our paperwork and filled him in on the plans. He was happy about it. Lately I had the feeling that he was losing faith in us; that he didn't think we were going to make it. He never said that directly, but little comments and the look in his eyes the last time I was home made it obvious.

"Dad, I love him, I know it seems odd, but there is nothing that has changed my mind on that in the last four years, so please, don't worry about me so much."

"Bella, I m your father, I will always worry about you. I just don't want your life to go by and you wake one day alone wondering what happened." Charlie sighed.

"This tour is almost done and then we will be together dad." I took a breath praying that was not going to change as we said our goodbyes and I went back to work.

Alice was jumping up and down like a lunatic when I told her what I was doing. She insisted on dragging me shopping for what she claimed was a proper vacation wardrobe. I argued and teased that packing 90% lingerie was not a proper vacation wardrobe.

We laughed and teased and in the end I ended up with a very nice new wardrobe only half of which I could wear out side the bedroom. I was not sure that was a problem, as I intended to spend at least half the vacation in nothing at all.

I was radiant for the next few weeks until it was time to go. I kept the news of a vacation to myself until the last minute. I told the staff at the bar I was going away, but not where, or that I was meeting anyone. I just said that I needed a break.

The rumors were circulating before I left, ranging from that I was going off on job interviews to I was sick and seeing a specialist. I even heard one that hypothesized whether Edward would be MIA the whole time too.

My life, or lack thereof, had become the topic for speculation for far too many people. Alice and I kicked back in my office laughing our asses off about it one evening just before I left.

The morning before I was leaving, I was finishing laundry and packing. I snuck in a quick shower and was wrapped in a towel. I desperately needed more coffee. Not hearing any movement, I figured I was alone. I knew Alice had gone to work and Peter had class. I decided to run for it and grab another cup of coffee to drink while I dried my hair and got ready.

I slowly opened my bedroom door and stuck my head out. Nothing, not a peep. Running, I headed for the kitchen and the smell of hazelnut wafting through the air. The running loosened the towel and just as I rounded the corner to the doorway of the kitchen two things happened.

One, Edward looked up from the kitchen table and the newspaper he was reading and two, my towel fell to the floor.

I froze, gasping. Edward's eyes travelled down my body to the floor and the towel laying there. I heard him mutter, "Fuck," as he lifted the paper in front of his eyes, and I darted for the towel, wrapping it back around myself, mortified.

I poured my coffee, refusing to tuck tail and run. Neither of us said a word and by the time I had dressed and come back out to put my cup in the sink, Edward was gone.

I never said anything to Alice, and as far as I knew, Edward never said a word. I left for my trip the next morning. Alice and Peter drove me to the airport. I was so excited. I had never been to Europe. London was someplace that I was so intrigued by, and I was going to get to see it with Jasper.

I was too excited to sleep on the fight. I couldn't wait to see Jasper and just hang out together, start talking about our plans for his next assignment. I had read every magazine I had brought with, cover to cover and honestly couldn't tell you a word that I read. I was touching up my light makeup by the time we were landing and attempting to do something with my messed hair.

The minute I walked through customs at Heathrow, a pair of strong arms lifted me off my feet and spun me around. I was giggling and blushing as our lips met. I could hear the faint snickers and giggles around us.

By the time Jasper set me down and we backed away from the kiss I was breathless.

"Just don't let go baby, please," I pleaded.

Jasper grinned and said, "I wasn't planning on it darlin'."

We walked out to the queue for a taxi, still holding hands, each of us pulling a bag behind us. Jasper gave the address for the hotel and that was the last I saw of London until we climbed back out at the hotel.

We couldn't keep our hands and lips off of each other, we were so happy to be together.  
It was a challenge to keep our hands to ourselves while we checked in to our room. The woman checking us in winked at me while Jasper was signing the incidentals form.

The minute that door closed, the bags were dropped and I felt Jasper's hands on my wrists, my arms raised over my head just as my back hit the door behind us. Gasping, I looked up at him, his eyes, so dark, so hungry bore into me before moving slowly down my body.

"The arms stay where they are Isabella." I felt my entire body respond to that one sentence. My stomach clenched, my breathing hitched. Jasper's hands moved down the length of my arms, down my sides, his thumbs grazing my breasts as they passed. He reached the hem of my shirt and his hands slid underneath.

The feel of his warm hands against my skin made my body tremble in anticipation, and excitement. My breathing quickly became erratic. "Oh God, Jasper, please."

"I do plan to please, Isabella, all night long."

I moaned out, the command in his voice going straight through my body.

My shirt slowly rose as his hands travelled back up, across my quivering stomach, slowly, over my breasts, my now hard nipples. I felt a soft squeeze as his hands covered them fully. Just as quickly the hands were easing the shirt over my head.

I didn't dare move my arms. Jasper leaned in kissing my neck as he pulled the shirt free, dropping it at our feet. His hands moved straight to my jeans, flicking the snap open, the zipper lowering. It was so quiet I could hear every sound it made as it unzipped. Only my rapid breathing accompanied the sound of metal scraping.

Soft lips kissed down my body as the jeans were pushed over my hips and down my legs. I squirmed and wriggled trying to help rid my body of the denim barrier. Jasper lifted one foot at a time as he pulled each free. The discarded jeans, left at my feet in a puddle.

His kisses grew more urgent as they ascended my body, not missing an inch. I could feel my self pressing harder against the door with each kiss. Hands slid between my trembling thighs, gently spreading them. I kicked the jeans out of the way, moving my feet further apart at his nudging.

Lips followed closely behind the hands, my belly fluttered with the arousal growing deeper as he moved. "Jasper," I panted, "yes, please, I need you."

"Shhh, patience darlin', I have a very strategic plan for this sexy body tonight." Jasper's voice was low and gruff as he looked up from his knees. "Like this tattoo, my tattoo, it requires my attention." He kissed and licked and sucked at it for so long I thought I would implode before he moved on.

"AH," I screamed out at the sharp sting of bites across my mound, the sting at teeth grazing my already throbbing nub. The feel of his head pushing hard against my core, pushing me harder against the door. "Jasper!"

He responded with his tongue, sliding along my slit, flicking, torturing me, as his hands gripped my hips, pushing them harder into the wood door. My body was shaking and I was screaming through orgasm after orgasm, rolling through my body, when he finally stood from his knees, crashing his lips to mine, kissing with every bit of emotion. I could taste myself on his lips, the feel, the taste, the longing and need for him consumed me.

He kissed harder and harder and suddenly broke the kiss, looking at me. His eyes looked through me, right into my soul. "I love you so fucking much Bella."

"I love you too Jasper, more than you will ever know."

I barely had the words out when I felt my body spin, pressed into the door. Jasper's lips at my neck, kissing across to my ear lobe, nipping and sucking. "I need to bury my self deep inside you, I need to feel your tight walls clamping down around me; your body tremble for me when I fuck you, then I promise I will make love to you all night darlin'."

"Jesus Jasper, I think you just made me cum," I said as I turned my head over my shoulder.

Jasper chuckled at my words, biting down on my neck.

"Stop teasing me Jasper, please, I need you."

Jasper kept his word. The way his body took mine, the way his hands drew responses from every inch of me, it was magical. He took me hard and fast, slamming me against that door. The raw need and hunger turned me on more than I would have ever imagined. I felt my body go limp as he pounded, relentlessly, my breasts smashed hard against the heavy wooden door, my head turned, his teeth sunk into my neck. My walls clamped down around him as he hit that sweet spot, over and over again.

"FUCK, Jasper, my God."

I collapsed into his arms as he finished and felt him carry me to the bed, kissing me the whole way. The tender touch of his lips and hands travelling my body made me feel like he was memorizing every inch. He spent hours just languishing kisses across my flesh, igniting a fire inside I never knew existed.

The entire night was spent stoking the flames and tending the fire. By morning every part of me was his, owned, controlled in need of his touch to survive. From that moment on, all it took was one look from him and I would feel myself melt.

"Bella, do you like it in Seattle? " Jasper asked over coffee in the morning.

"Yeah, I do, its a really nice City Jasper. Do yo think there is chance that you could get stationed near Seattle?

"Yeah, if you really want to stay there, there is a way to a we can stay there permanently. "

"Permanently? I wouldn't have to quit my job or leave Charlie behind? "

"That's right Bella, we can everything we both want."

"What is the catch Jasper?" Knowing this was too good to be true without strings.

"You've been an army wife longer than I realized Bella. Yeah, there's always a string, isn't there," Jasper sighed and took a deep breath.

"They are offering first choice of permanent assignment to anyone that agrees to extend 18 months. It means 18 more month apart, but after that, it's Seattle. That's what you want, and for good. This is your call Bella, you deserve to make this decision you have put up with so much already." Jasper leaned forward, took my hands in his and just waited.

I felt like the floor fell out from underneath me. Was he serious? 18 more months?  
I felt the sting of the first tears. We were on day two of our vacation, year 4 apart, and he wanted 18 more months.

But then we could stay in Seattle, together forever? Damn it , this is so not fair. "Jasper, can I think about it?"

"Yeah baby, we can talk about it while we are here and decide."

"I just need to think about it Jasper, that's all. I miss you so much, I don't know if we can handle another 18 months apart." Jasper stepped back at my words.

"Oh, I um, I didn't realize you felt that way; then no, I will say no and we'll be together where ever babe."

"Let's talk about it later, please?"

We enjoyed the sights of London, behaving like typical tourists. We hung around Picadilly Circus and Leicester Square. We did the tour of Buckingham Palace and Trafalgar Square and the National Gallery. I just had to have tea at Harrods. We rode on the top of the Double Decker bus.

We took a couple days and went to Stonehenge and up into Scotland. By the time the trip was over, it was a pretty easy decision. I could handle 18 more months. We could handle 18 more months. I told Jasper my decision and we both agreed. I decided I would go back to school, start on my Master's while Jasper finished his tour.

If we were going to be in Seattle permanently I would be able to finish the degree there with out having to worry about transferring or stopping once i started. I couldn't work for the bar forever after all; I needed options. Jasper thought it was a great idea and all for it.

When I got home I filled Alice in on the plans and called Charlie. It was a lot harder than I thought it would be to tell Charlie. He didn't get upset really, he just asked pointed questions. Every answer broke my heart just a little. At the end he said, "Well, Bella, you've made it five years as husband and wife without seeing each other, I suppose another year and a half won't be a problem, will it?"

"No Dad. it won't, and then we will be here, close to you and the life I have made." I wondered for a moment whether I was trying to convince him, or myself, that everything would be okay. We hung up and I couldn't help think that he was really worried about me and the life I chose.

I went on living my life. I registered for school, glad I had taken the GMATs on a whim. Things were really no different than they had been. Peter and I studied at home now rather the library most of the time. Edward would join us some times too.

I spent more time with Edward, but still, things were awkward. We never spoke of the towel incident, but every once in awhile I would catch him just watching me, or staring. It unnerved me but I had known Edward for over five years now. I knew it wouldn't be anything more than that.

Months went by and Jasper and I talked fairly regularly. Still I had not told anyone else about my secret life. I kept trying to find a way to tell Edward and Peter at least. Edward was gone more and more, staying out all night, studying with the other med students.

It was Sunday night and we had our customary family dinner. Alice and Peter cooked, Edward and I set the table and cleaned up. We stayed up late watching movies. Once I went to bed I was out cold.

I could hear my phone ringing. My eyes barely opened, I looked at the clock, thinking it must be Jasper. It took a moment before it dawned on me that it wasn't Jasper's ring tone. I reached for the phone and hit accept. The voice on the other end, sounded wrong. It was too formal, too unfamiliar.

"Yes, this is Bella Swan." I blinked my eyes, trying to adjust as I turned on the bedside lamp. Sitting up a little I listened to the strange voice, the words not registering at first.

"Yes, this is she." I sat up straighter, throwing the comforter off my lap, the pit of stomach rising slowly.

"What? I'm sorry can you repeat that?" My legs were swinging over the side of the bed, about the same time that my stomach was meeting my throat.

"Oh MY GOD! NO, is he..., yes I understand, yes, I will be there as soon as I can."

I was on my feet, I know that I was, but somehow I found myself in a heap on the floor as my stomach continued its revolt. I felt myself lurch and my body heave. I tried to stand and run for the bathroom.

There was no time. The reality in my brain was not yet caught up with my body's response.  
I shook my head and tried to figure out why I was shaking so badly. Where were the noises coming from. I could hear the strangled screams, the sobs. I could feel the moisture and smell the stench. The banging that followed, caused my head to turn to the door.

I knew it was Alice, I recognized the bell peal of her voice, the smell of her shampoo, the touch of her hand on my arms.

"Bella, dear God, say something, please, what is it, is it Jasper, is he hurt?"

At the sound of Jasper's name, my head popped up to her, shaking.

"Jasper, I have to reach Jasper, I have to call Jasper, I don't know where he is. I don't know where Jasper is." My words were stuttered by gasps of breath, trying to force myself to calm.

"Bella, you are scaring me, what is going on honey? I am going to wake Peter and Edward."

"NO. please, Alice no, let me call Jasper first."

"Bella, what has happened?" Alice's voice lowered, it softened somehow.

"Charlie. It's Charlie Alice. I have to get to the hospital in Forks."

"Call Jasper, I am waking the boys, then I'll help you get cleaned up and changed."  
I looked down, I had vomited all over my pajamas and the floor. I nodded to Alice and dialed Jasper. Straight to voicemail.

"Damn it Jasper, not now, I need you." I left a message to call me immediately.

Getting up I went to the bathroom and striped, throwing my clothes in the sink and jumping in the shower. I quickly cleaned up and washed my hair, it seemed to have caught the brunt of the mess. By the time I turned off the water my clothes were gone and fresh jeans, shirt and undergarments were on the counter. I looked in the mirror and thought of Charlie, his eyes looking back at me. Our last conversation running through my mind, I tried to stop the shaking.

I dressed, brushed my teeth, gargled and rinsed and ran a comb through my hair. I was just twisting it and securing the clip when Alice walked in.

"Ok trucks running, Peter and Edward are throwing clothes in a bag, go get an apple or something while I grab our bags." Alice reached for my black shoes and I lost it.  
Immediately Alice had her arms wrapped around me, comforting me. "Did you reach Jasper?"

"No, let me try again before we go." I hit redial and remembered, Jasper was not available.

"Fuck."

"What is it?"

"Jasper is not available, I have no idea where he is right now. I am going to have to call command. Damn it. I can't do that in front of Peter and Edward. I'll wait until I know something."

"Ok, lets' go sweetie." Alice took my hand and led me out to the open garage and running truck.

"Wait, we are all going?" I said surprised when I saw Peter behind the wheel and Edward sitting shotgun.

"Of course we are all going Bella." Alice opened the rear door for me and shut it as I adjusted in the seat behind Peter. Alice ran around and was in her seat in seconds and we were pulling out.

Peter raced down the highway as I explained that I didn't know anything. I called my in-laws, and remembered as I got voicemail that they were out of town. This just kept getting worse.  
I sent my mother in law a text telling her what I knew so far and that I would text with details later.  
I fidgeted in my seat and let Alice hold my hand, trying to calm me down. The only one that could ever calm me down was Jasper. One touch from him and my whole body would relax and still. I longed for it to be Jasper's hand wrapped around mine.

I had never been so scared or worried. I had no idea what condition Charlie was in. I didn't know if he'd be alive when I got there. I didn't know anything. I faintly heard Edward asking me if I knew the name of the person that called.

I didn't. I couldn't remember anything but those horrible words. I leaned back against the seat and closed my eyes, trying to calm down. Images of Charlie flashed before me. I couldn't do this, not without Jasper, not with nobody knowing I was married.

How would I even explain that to my in-laws, to Jasper. This was a nightmare.

By the time we made it to the hospital and I was able to see the doctor, Charlie was gone. It was nothing short of surreal. It felt like forever that I stood there in that tile hallway waiting for the words I would come to dread to be spoken. He seemed to look to my friends for support or the courage to say it.

Finally I just blurted out, "Is he gone, just tell me, if he's gone."

The words echoed through the hall, "Yes, I'm sorry. Charlies Swan passed away at 8:05 am."

I vaguely recall nodding and then demanding to see him. I wouldn't believe it until I saw it myself.

Alice tried to say no, Peter held me against his chest. In the end, it was Edward that accompanied me into the room to see my father. The sheet pulled unnaturally high to his chin, probably disturbed me more than anything else. Edward held my hand as I cried and said goodbye.

We went back to Charlie's house right after I signed the papers I barely remember seeing. Peter helped me through the piles of pages that were all foreign to me. Alice made a list and sent the boys out to the store. I tired frantically to get in touch with Jasper while they were gone. I tried command, but of course, i couldn't reach anyone there either. My only hope was the Red Cross. They helped the families in emergencies like this.

Charlie's wishes had always been very clear though. Just like he lived, he wanted to go out, no frills no ordeals, no attention. There was a simple memorial on Wednesday, the Police Department and the Mayor and his office were in attendance. There were more people from Forks than I had expected, and of course Charlie's body had not been released until the investigation was completed.

It didn't really matter to me, his body would be turned to Ash now or in a week, it didn't house my father anymore. He was home in my heart now, where we would stay forever.

I couldn't face staying in forks that week, so we left for Seattle as soon as the service was over. My in-laws didn't make it back to town until the next day. They felt so horrible that I had to go through it without them or Jasper. They really were great about helping with everything else. I asked them to contact a realtor, I just couldn't face doing it, but I hadn't been back in years for more than a week at a time and only to see Charlie.

It was Friday when I heard Jasper's ring tone and I lunged for the phone.

"Oh baby, I'm so, so sorry, I want to be there more than anything. I am so sorry I wasn't there for you." Jasper's voice was heavy with tears, and worse, guilt.

"Baby, I wasn't alone, I had Alice and Peter and Edward. There was nothing more you could have done than hold me, so please just be with me now."

We turned on Skype and I just lay in the bed hugging the pillow, Jasper laying down his face on screen on the pillow next to me.

We talked for hours, reminiscing about Charlie and the crazy things he had said and done over the years. I felt not so alone by the time we finally disconnected. Jasper got leave for a week and came home Sunday. I picked him up in Seattle and we went to Forks and packed up the house.

It wasn't the way I had wanted to spend a week with my husband but at least he was there with me.

* * *

AN: I know this chapter took a long time to get out, but it was a very difficult one for me. And I realize if you have read my other work you probably see a theme. Yes, I borrowed from real life emotions for the worst parts and even tapped some actual details. So yes, there were several boxes of tissue scattered on the floor once again. I wish I could say that writing it was cathartic, but it would not be honest. Losing a parent, one you are so close to, is just something a woman that age never really gets over. So this is dedicated to Dad (please skip the sex parts daddy, cuz ewwwwww). It is also written with a very good friend in mind. I adore her and wish that of all the things we have in common that we did not share this similar horrible experience. I love you my twin, even though you may never read these words, it as much for you and your Mom.


	12. Bars and Wars Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Jasper was quiet on the drive to Forks; he stared out the window, a distant look in his eyes. Once we got to Charlie's house, he stood a long time, just looking at the house before we went inside. I knew it must have been hard on him too; he was like a son to Charlie long before we were married and he never really got to have that son in law relationship with him.

We walked in and the house smelled of Charlie. It hit me hard, I felt like I couldn't breathe and stood at the front door for what seemed like an hour before Jasper finally took my hand and said, "We have to do this, and we can do this."

I moved into the front room, looked around and sighed. "Am I doing the right thing selling it Jasper?" I was no longer so sure.

"Bella, what are the other options? It isn't like we are ever coming back here to live, so what else would we do with it?" Jasper was playing with the fishing pole in the corner by the front door.

"Yeah, I guess, I won't be back here again." I looked around at the pictures of me, every year of school up on the wall. Several of Jasper and I during high school. There was the one we took of the three of us at the baseball game, Charlie in the middle of us; looking the happiest I had ever seen him. I couldn't help but notice that Jasper looked so different now than he did back in high school. The military hair cut for one, replaced the mop of curls. His body was so finely chiseled now, all the work outs clear, that last bit of baby face was gone. His jaw was more squared now and he just looked like a man, where before he looked like a boy. If it were possible, I found him even more handsome now.

Well, I guess we should clean out the fridge, anything in there is probably spoiled, I have no idea what Edward and Peter even bought when we were here.

"Edward and Peter stayed here, with you?" Jasper looked at me, putting the fishing pole down.

"Yeah, and Alice of course." I turned to look at him and could see the anger in his eyes.

"What?" I asked, not sure what he was upset about. "I have been living with the three of them for how many years; of course they stayed with me here."

Jasper's jaw clenched and he nodded, walking into the kitchen. I heard the refrigerator open, as I walked in. Jasper was standing there looking around the kitchen the fridge door just standing open.

"What is it Jasper, what's wrong?" The look in his eyes frightened me, so distant, so much hostility.

It took a moment before he looked at me and answered, changing the subject. "Do you remember the first time I kissed you Bella?" His eyes were on the counter.

Smiling, I said, "Yes, I will never forget it, Jasper, I thought I was going to lose my mind, I wanted you so badly."

"Yeah, I know." He shook his head and went back to the refrigerator.

"Okay." I walked out of the room not sure what the hell had just happened, but one thing was for sure, I was not having a fight right now.

I looked round the front room again, wondering what to do with all Charlie's things. I started taking down the pictures and stacked them on the coffee table. I could hear Jasper throwing things in the trash. I guess this was hard on him too, so I tried to give him a few moments.

We spent a couple hours packing things, setting some things aside for donations. We decided we would keep a lot since neither of us really had anything for when we moved into base housing next year.

Finally Jasper said he was hungry and we decided to go to the store and pick up some groceries for the week. We ran into a couple people from high school in town. Angela had been at the service the week before. She was shocked when she saw me with Jasper.

"Bella, Jasper, hello. I had no idea you two still kept in touch. Didn't you join the Army or something Jasper?" Angela was all but drooling over Jasper and when her hand rested on Jasper's arm, I saw red.

"Angela, Jasper and I are married, have been for almost 5 years now." My eyes narrowed on her hand on my husband's arm. I looked up and saw the hurt in his eyes.

"OH. I had no idea, does anyone know, geez, you know how Forks is, can't keep anything a secret around here, I can't believe nobody told me. Oh well, congratulations, I guess, but Jasper why weren't you here for the funeral and who was that guy you were with, I assumed he was your boyfriend or something."

"I had to work, just got into town, excuse me." Jasper walked away and I wanted to kill Angela.

"Sorry Angela, we have a lot to do." I excused myself and hurried to catch up with Jasper. He didn't say another word until we got back to the house and I was putting groceries away.

"So Bella, does anyone know we are married or were you too ashamed to admit it to anyone?" Jasper was just standing watching me.

"Jasper, I have not seen Angela since we graduated high school. She showed up at the service last week, I never even had a chance to say more than thanks for coming to anyone."

"So why did she think, I'm going to assume Edward, is your boyfriend?"

"I don't know Jasper, maybe because he was the one at my side, holding me while I cried my eyes out, while I said goodbye to my dead father, maybe because he was the one here for me, handling shit I wasn't capable of handling all alone. You know, like I have been for five fucking years." It was my turn to be livid. How dare him.

"I couldn't even get a hold of you; did you know that Edward is the one that had to stand at my side in the hospital when I had to see my dead father? You weren't here. Your parents weren't here; I was alone, like I always am." I was screaming by that point. My fists were shaking at my sides.

"Yeah, and how in the hell else has he comforted your loneliness over the last five years? Huh Bella?" Jasper stood, blocking the door way, his arms folded across his chest. I was so damn angry I walked out the back door screaming, "Fuck you," and took off running into the woods.

I didn't come back for hours. I walked the woods, remembering how much it used to bother Charlie and Jasper when I did that. I just walked, thinking, crying. When I finally went back to the house Jasper wasn't there. I saw a note on the counter and didn't bother picking it up. I made a sandwich which ended up thrown against the wall. I sat down on the couch and just cried. I couldn't believe he said that, that he even thought that.

The sense of guilt and shame that I never told Edward I was married, never told him about Jasper was suddenly weighing very heavy. I prayed Jasper would not ask me that outright, because I would not lie to him and the truth was going to hurt. He knew I hadn't told anyone but Alice for a long time, but I guess he assumed I had told people after I left the dorms. We just never talked about it. We never talked about much of anything really.

I looked up and found myself talking to Charlie. "Dad, I messed up, I messed up really bad this time. I'm going to lose him, after all this, I am going to lose Jasper, I know it. You were right dad; we aren't going to make it. It was too much and we were too young. I'm sorry, I'm glad at least you won't have to see my failure."

I cried and cried, for Charlie, over Jasper, over the wasted years I would never get back. I was suddenly vindicated in my decision never to tell, I wouldn't have to live through the shame of explaining it now when Jasper left me.

I must have fallen asleep on the couch, I woke up and Jasper was sitting on the chair across from me, watching me. He had covered me with a blanket and taken my shoes off.

I looked up and said, "Hi."

"I'm sorry Bella." He just stared at me. All I could think was that we were through; I had lost him as sure as he sat in that chair, and we might as well be, across the ocean. The distance that I had attributed to actual distance all this time, was suddenly right in front me, three feet away.

"For the record, I never cheated on you, not once Jasper. I never even thought about it, had any desire to." I stood up and went to my old bedroom, shut the door and laid there until I heard the footsteps on the stairs, pacing outside my door. I closed my eyes blinking back the tears.

Finally he came in, lay down next to me and just held me. Neither of us slept. I never rolled over; I just let him hold me, my back against his chest, until the morning.

I wondered if he still loved me, really loved me, or if it was just words now. We spent the rest of the week packing up the house. We had dinner with his parents one night. I had to meet with the lawyer about the will and probate. I was shocked at how much life insurance Charlie left me, and the extent of his estate. Then there were the benefits from the Sheriff's office. All in total it added up to an awful lot of money and that was before I even sold the house.

Jasper and I never really talked about what happened. We never made love again that week either. I couldn't bring myself to say the words I feared were on his mind. What was going to happen when he came back? Did he still want to come back? I couldn't handle that conversation at that point.

I dropped Jasper at the airport on Sunday and said goodbye, we kissed and exchanged "I love you" and he held me tight, both of us teary eyed when he let go and we went our separate ways.

I wanted to call out to him, say it would all be okay, but I just didn't believe it anymore. My heart was broken, Jasper didn't trust me. The separate ways, this time felt like a lot more than just directions.

I headed for home, less sure of my future than I had ever been. Everything was in a storage bin, on hold, along with my life. We had to address it eventually.

Weeks went by, we only spoke twice, it was cold and detached, we were merely checking in. We were not talking.

Carmen sat me down one day and said she was worried about me. After insisting I come over for dinner, and spend the night, I agreed. After several margaritas, I ended up telling Carmen everything. I cried and spilled every detail to her. Carmen held me, in her arms and rocked me; she just listened and never judged what I had done. Though, when I heard myself tell the story, I sounded like a scared child even to me. I had not been mature enough to get married, at that time. It was obvious now. We weren't working on our marriage. We didn't communicate. I had no idea what Jasper was feeling or thinking and he had no idea where my head was.  
We were children, playing at being adults, at being married. Over the next few weeks I realized that I had some pretty major decisions to make. If we weren't going to make it, I owed it to Jasper and myself to speak up now, before he was stuck in Seattle in a life he didn't want. My life was already here, but was it what I wanted for my future was what I needed to decide.

Carmen helped me a lot over the next couple months. I wasn't all that surprised when she threw another option on the table for me.

"Bella, I want to sell the bar. I am tired and too old to deal with it anymore. Honestly if it hadn't been for you, I would have done it a few years ago. Of course, if you are interested, it is yours, we will work out a fair price." She placed her coffee down on the corner of the desk we shared and sat back watching me.

"Let me think about it Carmen, and talk to Jasper. We need to make some decisions and it might as well be sooner than later." I sat back too and knew it was her way of telling me it was time. I needed to make some decisions and move on one way or another.

I called Jasper that night and told him we needed to talk. He sighed and I knew he was thinking the same thing I was.

"Jasper, do you still love me? I mean really love me? You don't have to answer now, but we both need to be honest about our feelings. I feel like we have just grown so far apart. If you don't want to come home, if you don't want to make a life in Seattle, I don't want you to feel forced into it." The words came easier than I expected them to.

"Honestly Bella, I am always going to love you, but I don't know what to think anymore. Your life went on ahead without me, and I'm not blaming you for that, I wasn't there for you, I know that." I could hear Jasper sitting down through the phone.

"Jasper, I don't know anything about your life anymore, you don't really tell me anything and, I don't even know if you are happy, whether you like the path you chose. I don't really know what you do, or where you have been half the time." I said the things I should have said long ago.

"I know, and I know it's my fault. I just never wanted you to know how bad shit was. I wanted to protect you from it. I know now that it was foolish, that I was foolish. I don't want to lose you, but I feel like I did a long time ago." I knew Jasper had already rehearsed this, already shed the tears, just as I had.

"Jasper, I love you, I never stopped loving you. I will never stop loving you. We just have different lives now and I don't know how we fit into each other's life anymore. Carmen wants to sell the bar, Jasper, I am going to use the money from Charlie to buy it."

"No Bella. You're still my wife, if you want to buy the bar; we do it together, as husband and wife. If we can't make this marriage work, you keep the bar, I won't expect anything from it, but please, if you cut me out of your life now, we don't stand a chance Bella."

"Alight Jasper, but for now, I think we should both take some time to decide what we want. We will buy the bar together, I will run it. You finish up your tour and we will see what happens." I could hardly believe the words that we coming out of my mouth.

We agreed. Jasper would be out of touch for at least two weeks anyway and on top of feeling guilty about making him think about our future while he was potentially in a life and death situation, I hung up feeling like shit.

I moped around, Carmen and I agreed on a price and closed the deal. I threw myself into work and finishing school. I made some changes in the bar and they seemed to be a big hit with the customers. Corin and Rose took on the added responsibility for choreographing dance numbers the waitresses would perform on top of the bar. I added additional security and made some updates to the back of the bar.

Things were weird, I thought a lot about Jasper and our future, whether we had one or didn't. We hadn't really talked in a couple months. It wasn't that we didn't try; it just seemed we were both taking the time to really think about what we wanted.

One Sunday night, Alice and Peter had gone out for the evening and I was relaxing with a glass of wine and a movie. Edward came home, drunk. He sat at the end of the couch and stared at me.

I was more than slightly unnerved. There was something about the way he looked at me, it was the way Jasper did.

"Edward, what the fuck?" I was getting nervous, he was clearly drunk and his hands reached for my feet, pulling them into his lap, rubbing them.

"Knock it off." I tried to pull my feet away, but he held the ankles and just looked up at me.

"Why Bella, why should I? You know how I feel about you, you know I want you. I have for four years. Don't think I don't know that you are curious, that part of you wants me just as much."

"Edward, you are drunk. Stop this, it isn't going to happen." I was furious, and honestly a bit frightened. I hoped Peter and Alice would walk in.

"Tell me why Bella, tell me why it can't happen. Nobody ever needs to know, if that's what you want. You want to keep your little show of independence, celibacy, fine. But I know you have needs too. I could take care of those. I could please you in ways you never dreamed of." His hands began moving up my legs as he crawled up the couch toward me.

"Edward, enough. You need to stop it, now." I pushed at him and he fell back on the couch.

"Come on Bella, you tease me with that hot body, that booty call you get once or twice a year can't keep you satisfied." He shot a cockeyed smug grin at me.

Gasping, I stared at him. "What, what did you say?"

"Oh please Bella, still holding out hope that some secret high school boyfriend that only makes time to see you once or twice a year will ever make you a priority. It's just pathetic. You are a smart, beautiful girl, you could do better."

"Fuck you Edward, you know nothing about it."

"No? I saw the pictures of the two of you at your father's house. I heard the comments about how you two were inseparable in high school. He is probably married and just keeps you around for the occasional bang, and cybersex. Yeah, I hear you moaning in there Bella. How can that shit possibly keep you satisfied? Just one time Bella, give me one night and you will be over him, you will be begging me to be yours."

"You are an ass, Edward Cullen." I pushed him off of me, went to my room and locked the door.

I didn't see Edward for at least a week. When I did he handed me a note and left.

I grabbed a cup of coffee and went to my room to read the note. It was an apology as I expected. What I didn't expect was that he was moving out, couldn't remain sharing the same home, as his feelings for me were too strong. He said that he couldn't handle the unrequited feelings. Edward promised not to ever push himself on me again, but that he would be waiting if I ever changed my mind. He would always be there for me. I felt terrible, I had let things get too out of hand. I should have told him the truth a long time ago.

Before I returned home from work in the wee hours of the next morning, all Edwards's things were gone.

When I saw Alice for dinner, she looked sad and her eyes gave away the fact that she had been crying. I offered to leave instead and she looked up and said, "Absolutely not. He just needs to get a life."

"Alice, do you think I led him on, did I give him reason to think there a chance for us to be together?" I really didn't think I had, why the hell didn't I just tell the truth? I mean I know I didn't when I first came to Seattle because of the dorms and I guess deep down I was worried what people would say, 18 married, husband not around. I guess in part I was terrified that Jasper would decide it was a mistake and not come back for me and I would look like that much bigger of a fool.

Then as time went on I felt guilty about not telling them in the first place and then there were the times that I truly wasn't sure Jasper and I were going to make it. It really was no excuse, I should have at last told Edward and Peter.

I wracked my brain trying to decide if I had not told Edward because I somehow liked the attention from him. Had he known, it would have stopped; maybe I was selfish and took what I could get since Jasper wasn't here. No, that wasn't it. Was I afraid that if he knew there was a husband that chose to be thousands of miles away from me, he'd try to convince me he couldn't really love me, that I should forget him and be with someone that wouldn't leave me?

I was punishing myself. That much was clear. I was feeling like by not telling Edward and letting him flirt that I had somehow betrayed Jasper. I never did anything with Edward, but the fact that I never just told him the truth was really weighing heavily on me. Why? Why did I keep it a secret?

"Bella, hello? Earth to Bella?" Alice's giggle brought me out of my self-flogging and I shook my head, as tough I were clearing it.

"Sorry."

"It's okay Bella. You really should tell them. Peter is convinced there is someone anyway. Edward knows you don't go off on these trips alone Bella. Why won't you tell them?" Alice's smile had been replaced with a sad frown. She had kept my secret for so long, always been there for me and I felt like I was hurting her by not telling them.

"You're right Alice, I need to tell them, at least Edward and Peter," I said. That easily, the decision I had put off for so long was made.

"Just please give Edward a chance to calm down before you tell him Bella, okay, a few more weeks won't hurt and I think he will take it better."

I nodded and agreed with Alice. Edward had been a pain in the ass, but he had also been a very good friend to me, watched out for me. In a way he had made the whole thing easier for me, by keeping all the other single guys at bay with his possessive territorial garbage.

He had been the one to hold me while I said goodbye to Charlie, to be there so I didn't have to do it alone. He listened to me cry more times than I could count.

I owed it to my friend Edward to tell him the truth. Now I was just scared I would lose his friendship too over the secret.

I had to tell him, even if I lost Jasper, it wasn't right that Edward kept holding out hope for something that would never be. I had no idea what was going to happen between Jasper and I, but regardless, I couldn't keep Edward as a backup, it wasn't fair to anyone, not Edward, not Jasper. I was playing a game, and hearts were at stake, even if I never meant to do it.


	13. Bars and Wars Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Edward continued to show up at the bar, nobody other than Alice and Peter ever knew what happened, or that anything had happened. Edward had claimed to all his entourage that he couldn't bring the ladies back with his sister and me down the hall. I watched as he went through girl after girl, every weekend a different woman. He always made sure I knew it too.

When he started messing around with Tanya, I actually did feel a little hurt. It was as though he was trying to get to me by doing it. Alice and I laughed about it, but I never admitted that it bothered me.

I got used to it and it became a game. Every once in a while Edward would show up at our place and pass out in my bed. I would simply knock on Peter and Alice's door and Peter would throw him on the bed in his old room. He never touched me. Sometimes he would try to convince me I should give in at last. I laughed it off and he would make a point of flirting with every attractive woman that walked into my club.

The one benefit, Edward certainly brought a crowd. He always had, but these days, he was raising the roof with his antics. It amazed me that the women he took home, clearly used for a good time, continued to come back, always looking for more. They even brought their friends. I just shook my head at the thought.

When Emmett told me he caught Edward nailing Char in the ladies room, I was furious. Emmett forced me to calm down and told me he was just trying to get my attention by doing it and that the best thing I could do was ignore it. It took quite the effort, but I did, I never said a word to him about it.

Peter knocked at my bedroom door one evening. I knew it was him, he was the only one that ever knocked, Alice just barged in and Edward only ever came to my room drunk in the middle of the night. Now that he didn't live here, I knew it could only be Peter.

"Come in Peter." He laughed and opened the door, walking through.

"Hey, I need your advice Bella." Peter came in and sat down at the edge of the bed. I was just finishing an email to Jasper and hit send, asking what was up.

Peter pulled a small black box from his pocket and I grinned like a fool. "Oh my God, finally." I bounced throwing my arms around his neck knocking over my lap top.

"Yeah, you think she will be happy?" The man was just too damn cute.

"Duh, Peter you two are perfect for each other, she will be thrilled. So let me see." I squealed a bit and watched as he opened the box and showed me the ring. It was beautiful and Alice was going to love it.

"So, I was thinking of proposing over dinner, what do you think?" He looked nervous.

"I think any way you do it, it will be perfect, just let me know when and I will stay at Corin's or Rose's okay."

"Thanks Bella, I am thinking Saturday night." Peter tucked the ring back into the box and safely in his pocket. I threw some clothes in a bag and said, "I will just leave this in the car, so anytime, okay."

Peter stuck to the plan, he always did. Once that man had something in his mind, that was it, he never lost focus. Alice told me they were going out to dinner Saturday night and probably wouldn't make it in to the bar. I bit my tongue and gave nothing away. I closed the bar and crashed on the sofa in the office. I would never have told Peter that was my intention or he would have had a fit.

Alice called at noon on Sunday laughing, "You can come home now dork."

I hurried home and Alice was in the driveway before I was out of the car. I laughed as she jumped up and down in the front lawn, and hugged her. We went inside and I heard the whole tale of the proposal and as only Alice could, half the wedding plans she had concocted since just last night or knowing Alice since kindergarten.

I really was happy for her, for both of them, they belonged together. Alice laughed as she warned me that I was going to have to stand up with Edward as Peter was asking him to be his best man.

"Aww shit Alice; nope, find someone else," I teased.

Alice was not amused.

I asked if we were doing a joint bachelor/hen party at the club. Alice laughed so hard she cried.

We spent the next couple months consumed with wedding. Colors, flowers, food, music, the condo was filled with samples and swatches and fresh flowers, constantly. The wedding wasn't scheduled for another year and yet, it took over all our lives.

Between wedding planning and school and the bar I was constantly on the go. I got a letter from Jasper every few weeks and I wrote, mostly telling him about the bar. We didn't talk very often and had not skyped in forever.

The letters slowly dwindled from both sides. First it was down to once a month, then maybe every six weeks, before they hit every other month or so. I would fill him in on wedding plans, he would tell me about people in the unit. There were no plans of our future, no talk of when he'd be back.

I had resigned myself to the fact that he probably never would come home, not truly. I began to wonder whether it was time to start moving on with my life. I never felt like I had missed out on anything; not really. I didn't have any regrets and I knew I would always love Jasper, my Curls. I just couldn't help wondering if it would give him peace of mind to know he was free to do as he wished and I would be okay.

I wanted to tell Peter and Edward at last. I didn't really know how I was going to handle it if they never spoke to me again for lying for all those years. It was a chance I was going to have to take.

First I thought I should tackle writing to Jasper. There were only two months left of his extended tour and it was time we both made a decision. I spent three days trying to get the letter just right. I wanted it to be perfect. I didn't want to push him away, but at the same time I didn't want to force him or guilt him to stay. I knew what I wanted; I just needed his decision to be his own.

I finally had the letter the way I wanted it and it only took me four more days before I had the nerve to mail it. I was a wreck, just waiting. Then I got a text from Jasper that he was going to be unreachable.

I sighed and shook my head, kicking myself for taking an entire week. He could have had it by now and given me an answer.

Phase two. I needed to tell Edward and Peter. I asked them both to be at the Cullen's for this week's family dinner that I wanted to talk to the entire family. I figured I might as well tell Carlisle and Esme too.

I spent the whole week worrying about what I was going to say and how it would be received.

Alice dragged me shopping for the umpteenth time to look at gowns again I told her my plan to tell the family and she was relieved.

I watched as she tried on gown after gown and asked me questions about my wedding.

"Alice there really isn't much to tell. We went to a justice of the peace and it was over in minutes. There was no planning, no major shopping, there weren't any guests. It was just Jasper and me. Our honeymoon was a couple hours in a motel and then I took him back to base."

I sat back and began thinking back to that day to all the days that led up to it.

JPOV

I sit down on the plane, a nervous fucking wreck. Surprising her sounded like such a good idea when I first thought of it, not so much anymore. I lean back, my head against the paper covered rest and close my eyes. My hands on the arms of the seat, half daring anyone to try to make me move. My mind wanders to the first time I ever saw those big brown eyes. A broad smile stretches across my weathered face.

It was her first day in Forks, she never even saw me sitting in the office when she came in for her schedule. I saw her walk in unsure of what she was doing, where she was going. Her long dark hair, hide her face as she leaned over the counter, nervously chewing on her nails.

I heard her sweet little voice as she gave her name. Like anyone here wasn't already expecting her. It had been the talk all over town for weeks; The Chief's daughter coming home, going to Forks High. There had been one new family to move to Forks since we started kindergarten and that was in the third grade. He still wasn't accepted as one of us. The poor girl didn't stand a chance, native or not.

I watched as she took her schedule and was shown a map. It wasn't that big, the map was a joke. She was polite, through her nerves. Mrs. Cope patted her arm and told her good luck. It only served to make the poor little waif that much more nervous.

I chuckled as she walked out and Mrs. Cope looked up at me and said, "Jasper, you make sure they don't chew her up and spit her out now, ya hear me?"

I nodded took the transcript copies she had been copying and left for class. I had every intention of keeping an eye on Ms. Swan. I'm not sure it was the eye Mrs. Cope had in mind though.

I couldn't help myself, she was beautiful. Underplayed, insecure, self conscious and I couldn't wait to find out more. For now I'd sit back and watch, learn what I could, do what I could to keep her safe from Lauren and what she had planned.

I laughed. Lauren had been talking non-stop about all the things she knew of one Bella Swan. I found it entertaining to say the least. The girl had not seen her or spoken with her since she was four, if then, yet she knew all about her.

The sheep listened with dopey eyes as Lauren explained that she had heard that she was stuck up, spoiled, selfish. I loved the part where she was coming to Forks thinking she'd run the school the way the Chief ran the town.

Right then I had dubbed Bella "Deputy" in my mind. I laughed, apparently at just the right time and Lauren lit up like a fucking Christmas tree. She took my laughter as my support of her cockamamie plan. I let her think she had my support. Nothing could have been further from the truth. I was one to make my own decisions, even back then.

The real test of the new girl came at lunch that first day. The roar of whispers filled the room waiting for her to enter. The whole thing was asinine. She did the one thing I didn't expect, she just left.

It was pretty clear Bella didn't know the doors locked automatically. The satisfied smirk on Lauren's face was what did it I think. It infuriated me. I think that was when I decided to befriend Bella Swan, if for no other reason than to piss off Lauren. I shook my head, and resumed eating my lunch. Laughter boomed through the cafeteria. Our table was the first to quiet, quickly followed by the others.

The chatter about how she was going to have to walk all the way around to the front and ring the bell to the office carried through the remainder of lunch.

I had made an excuse about needing a book from my locker before class and left just before the bell. I made sure no one was watching as I walked to the nearest exterior door and opened it looking for Bella.

It was clear she had just realized her predicament when the bell sounded. The look of panic on her face went straight to my chest.

That was the first time I called her Deputy. It was the start of a pattern where I would come to her rescue; she would quietly thank me and the start of a friendship began.

I spent the week just watching her, evaluating her. I saw nothing to even hint at the characteristics Lauren had convinced the others existed; she was hell bent on attributing what I saw as shyness, insecurity as aloofness and condescension.

By Friday afternoon I was hopelessly attracted and desperate to know more about this intelligent, insecure beauty. I did the one thing nobody would have expected.

By the end of a night watching a movie and stuffing ourselves with junk food, I knew I had been right about Bella. She was funny and genuine and her interests were similar to mine. I liked just hanging out with her.

Monday was going to be the end of Lauren's aversion to Bella campaign, even if it meant changing it to the Jasper and Bella aversion campaign. I strongly doubted it would come to that.

Things improved after that. Bella spent all of ten minutes mad at me and we moved on, hung out more and more and it got to the point I couldn't take my eyes off her lips. I was never exactly sure when it went from just liking her as a person to really liking her. All I knew was if I didn't kiss her and soon I was going to go crazy.

The plane hit turbulence and I was suddenly jolted from my reverie.  
I was grinning like a fool at the mere memory of that first kiss. I nodded to my seat mate and put my head back against the chair again, my eyes closing.

It wasn't long before I was reliving the remainder of high school and the awful conversation when I told Bella that I wanted to join the Army. The hurt in her eyes was just as vivid in my memories as it was that day.

I thought about basic and what a god-awful experience that was, but knowing Bella was there for me, had made it so much better. Always knowing Bella was there for me always made everything more bearable.

I hated that I couldn't tell her things. Some things I just wouldn't tell her. I know she thought it was a trust issue. It didn't matter to me, I would always protect her, open that locked door for her, and keeping the shit I saw and did to myself was no different.

I hated the shit my squad members did behind their spouse's backs. It was nearly enough to destroy my faith in mankind. I knew Bella would never do that, and she knew I wouldn't.

Some of the fights over the last few years, I thought a million times she was going to leave me. She never did. The guilt of my choice to join the Army weighed heavily on me. I knew she deserved a better life, a husband that was actually a part of her life. I wondered so often if she regretted the decision to marry me.

My eyes opened on the plane ride in more ways than one. I didn't want to lose Bella. I had worked my ass off to be assured the opportunity to get the base of my choice so her life could remain the way she wanted it. She gave up so much for me and I know I had not been the best husband in the world.

I was determined to make things right; to treat her the way I should have the last five years. All this time apart and I still love her more than anything. I just hoped it wasn't too little, too late.

The feel of the plane touching down was something I was very used to. I couldn't even count how many planes I ended up in the last few years. I don't think I was as nervous on any of them as I am right now. I can't wait to hold Bella in my arms. To spend every day with her, as her husband, the way it should have been from the beginning. 

Heading to the baggage claim and rental car area, I search the carousels for my duffel and turn in the paperwork for the car rental, collecting the keys. Seeing my bag I grab it, sling it over my shoulder and pick up my carry on. Six years and it all fits in what I can carry on my back. The Army way. I chuckle and head for the car lot, and the plate printed on the key ring.

It seems weird to drive something that isn't a tank, a Humvee. I look out at the traffic and punch in the co-ordinates for Coyote Ugly. I laughed hard when I looked it up on the internet. Only my wife could get away with anything like that. If I had had that idea, she would have crucified me; Went on for hours on the objectification of women. She laughed and said she almost never partook in the shots, and only danced when necessary.

I trust Bella and told her a hundred times I was cool with it. I was growing more and more nervous the closer I got to the Club. What if she was not there? What if she was not happy I surprised her? What if, no, I had to stop the "what ifs" and start worrying about making my wife happy. I had a lot of time to make up for.

I pulled up, there wasn't a spot in sight and there was a line half way down the block. It seems business is booming. I pulled into a spot behind the club reserved for employees, next to Bella's ancient truck. I bypassed the line and walked straight to the doorman. I pulled out the card Bella had given me and showed it to him. He looked at it skeptically and then nodded me in. It seemed odd to be walking into a club I was half owner of but had never even seen before.

There was a sea of people and all the eyes were at the bar on the woman laying flat against it, with some drunk doing a body shot off her midriff. I saw the chestnut hair flowing around the bar and heard the stunned comments from the patrons that the owner never does body shots, and what was she doing.

I was asking myself the same question as I pushed my way closer, just out of her line of sight. I folded my arms across my chest and watched. It was clear to me, though I wasn't sure if it was to others, that she was extremely uncomfortable. Bella was not enjoying this. The bouncer and bartender didn't look too happy about it either. Then I caught the bronze haired player looking through the patron as though he'd kill him. Interesting. I'd lay odds that that is Edward. Always thought there was something more to him than Bella let on.

Bella nodded to the bouncer, signaling that she was ok. I know my wife, she isn't happy, but she isn't going to back down either. I watched. Her little hands fisted into balls, she clenched her legs together. I could see her body stiffen as his tongue dragged across her abdomen.

It was killing me to watch this. Had I not heard a dozen voices shocked that the owner was actually granting this to the groom, I would have been green with envy and questioning Bella's loyalty. But I also knew Bella, even after all this time apart. This was not a woman writhing in pleasure, not the way she would be if it were me hovering over her.

I was definitely setting things straight right here and now. Feeling a bit like a dog marking his territory, I can't help myself. I stepped closer, careful to stay out of her sight. Watching the drunken groom finish and Bella squeeze her eyes shut, I did the first thing that came to mind. I jumped on the bar and straddled my wife.

"Stay where you are beautiful." My eyes lock on my wife. I feel her body shift slightly.

"Pour another shot," I said looking to the striking blonde, returning my gaze to my wife. Bella's eyes slowly open, a gasp expels from her lungs as she realizes it's me.

I vaguely hear the behemoth bouncer growing at me as I pin Bella's hips down. Now I have learned the art of intimidation quite well in the past six years and there isn't much I can't convey with a single look. I take a second to deter my gaze from my wife and shoot the bartender and his back up a stone cold warning.

I was aware that the chatter had stopped, that all eyes were on us now. Good. I would only have to publicly claim my wife once. A growl built low in my chest and unleashed itself at the bouncers, as Bella signaled the bartender to pour. The look and the growl had the desired effect. The bouncer backed off. Not sure how I felt about that, I ignored it for now.

Bella's body began to respond though I had barely touched her. I could feel the perceptible differences in her demeanor than when the groom was holding her down. The bouncer must have conjured up some courage form the patrons because he stepped toward me and reached for my arm.

I could break his hand four different ways in ten seconds flat, but he did work for me and probably had no idea, so I let it go with a deeper growl and a snap of my head in his direction. Sure enough he backed off and looked to Bella pleading.

Bella nodded her head to him and he held his place just as my tongue flattened against her abs and snaked it s way up her tight body. I can feel her legs rubbing together already, looking for friction. I let my tongue flick at the undersides of her breasts, pushing her shirt just slightly up. I catch her gaze going to who I still assumed could only be Edward and see the look of fury on his face.

Keeping my eyes on him I let my tongue meander down her curves, blowing lightly at the wet trail. Her chest heaving and her breathing becoming ragged, I could see her arousal as clearly as anyone else could if they looked. Kissing sweet, tender little pecks along her hip line and across her flat stomach I pushed against the area I knew held my tattoo and bit down hard.

Her gasps of pleasure didn't go unnoticed. I hear the soft murmuring and see the little Pixie, and I know it is Alice.

I let my tongue drag across her chest pushing at her bra with my nose, flicking my tongue across those delicious mounds at the base of her breasts. I chuckle as she moans out and bucks her hips against my hands, which are now rubbing circles into her protruding bones.

Flicking my tongue into her navel collecting the last of the shot, Bella's hands thread through my hair and kissing my way back up I lift my head to look at my wife, now panting and moaning and writhing underneath my body.

I stare down at her for a long shared moment before I can take it no more and press my lips to hers; kissing her with every ounce of love I have felt the last six years.

The bouncer and his back up start screaming and pulling at me, I pushed hard growling out. I would be damned if anyone was going to ruin this moment.

Suddenly I hear Bella yell, "STOP. He is my husband."

The word rang in my ears. I could see the looks of shock on the staff's faces; hear the stunned comments. I couldn't care less, all I care about is what is lying underneath me against the bar, shaking.

AN: I hope you enjoyed the brief visit into Jasper's head. At last we are back to Chapter one and that body shot. I know a lot of you were anxiously waiting this moment. Thank you for reading and reviewing so diligently. I am off to work on Chapter 14.


	14. Bars and Wars Chapter 14

Bars and Wars

Chapter 14

Jasper looked straight through me and as the comments and low murmurs grew louder and more absurd, I could see the shift in him. The tight clenching in his jaw, the narrowing of his eyes; he squeezed them just a fraction. His fingers closed near my head, as he knelt, straddling me and sat up on his knees. His gaze moving from me to Emmett and Rose, Emmett questioning Rose whether she knew. Jasper's focus moved to the other bartenders one at a time. Corin stared at the pair of us, hurt and shock clear on her face.

With each new face, Jasper's disposition grew colder; his eyes no longer full with lust, but assessing. I can practically see the thoughts processing in his mind. He hears what I hear, the sounds of shock and disbelief. I watch as his eyes move straight to Alice and see her head drop in shame.

Following his gaze, his eyes land on Edward and don't move. I feel his body tensing around me and his breathing changing.

"No wonder you would never go out with anyone, and I thought you were just frigid, if you weren't married you so would have slept with me, I get it now." Edward called out loud enough for half the bar to hear.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to kill Edward or thank him. Jasper uttered this guttural sound that can be described as nothing short of a growl and then extended his hand to help me up and lifted me off the bar. Not letting go of his hand, I led him straight to the office and locked the door behind us.

Immediately I was pressed against the door, Jasper's lips at my ear, his hands pinning me. "Why does nobody seem to know that you are married Bella?"

I could hear the faint sound of the music starting once again and Emmett's booming voice "Shows over folks, who's drinking?"

My mind racing, my body quivering, my words came out between bated breaths, nearly incoherent. "Please, Jasper, I can explain."

"Did you move on Bella, is that it? Am I too late?" he asks without letting me reply. His lips kiss along my neck, over my throat. I am gasping, unable to move.

"No... Never." I manage to squeak out, my breath hitching.

"Edward?" Moist lips kiss at the base on my neck, his tongue dipping into the little hollow there.

"...is a jackass. Period." My head tilts back my chest heaving now.  
"Good, then you won't mind when I kick his ass." His tongue slides down the deep V of my shirt. My back arches hard off the door.

"Oh God, Jasper." My body trembling in need, a delicious yet wicked fire burns deep in my core, spreading heat throughout my body.

His hands slide down my sides, lifting the shirt over my head, and dropping it to the floor. The feel of the rising heat envelopes me as my breast is sucked into his mouth, straight through the lace of my bra. The sensation of his hips pressing against me drives me crazy.

Panting now, I whisper his name over and over, "Jasper, oh Jasper, are you really here, are you really home with me? Jasper..."

His body, flush against mine, he lowers himself, pushing the bra away, my breasts spilling over the cups, his tongue flicking against the hardened nipples. My legs attempt to rub together. Jasper's hand reaches down, between them, forcing them apart. I can feel his knee wedge between my thighs, spreading my legs wider.

The attention lavishing on each breast, caressing, and squeezing, licking and sucking, biting and tugging, has me moaning out in pleasure. I can feel the pit of my stomach clenching and tightening.

"Jasper, oh god, I, oh feels so good." Wriggling trying to free my pinned arms, needing to touch him, to feel him. He looks up and growls, "No, not yet, you are mine."

I can do nothing but nod at his command, my back pressed against the door, arching, my head tilted back, I can feel every heave of my chest as I pant for breath. The moisture between my legs growing to the point I can feel it dampening my panties.

Jasper kisses a line down my chest and over my stomach. The traitorous organ flutters all the while his lips are there. I moan out sharply as he bites my mound through my jeans. My hips buck forward and I feel the tips of Jasper's fingers slide down my now open jeans and under my panties.

The feel of his fingers gliding across my folds has me moaning louder than I trust not to be heard from the hallway. For some reason I just can't find it in me to care. Long nimble fingers begin their rough caress rocking against my most sensitive spots.

"Fuck. Bella, you are so damn wet baby." His heady words manage only to turn me on more.

"Jasper, keep it up and I'm not going to last much longer." I whimpered out.

Suddenly my jeans are being tugged down my hips and legs; I raise each, one at a time, and step free of the jeans and panties. I watch as Jasper unbuttons his jeans and hear the zipper slide down. My leg is hitching around his hip, needing him closer.

I hop up a little as his hands take my waist, and I wrap my legs around him. Groaning out loudly as he fills me, lowering my hips onto him, his length sheathed fully, I watch as he winces and groans.

"OH Fuck, Bella."

It takes a moment for my body to adjust to his size again. It hurts for a brief second and I gasp out in a sharp sob.

"Just give me a second Jasper, I'm okay." He looks at me, worry in his eyes.

"Please don't stop Jasper, I just need a second." I plead.

Adjusting around him, I lean in and kiss his full lips. Layering little kisses against his lips and chin. The moment passes and I sink down further, my mouth opening to gnaw at his chin. My tongue slides against that damn cleft I love so much.

I feel the heat radiating off both our bodies, my hands ripping away at his shirt until I manage to relieve him of it, just as his hips begin rocking, his hands moving me by my hips. The feel of him moving inside me blurs every doubt I ever had. The years apart slowly seem to melt away as though we were never separated, as if we had been together every day. My hands knead against the thick muscles in his shoulders. I can't help but need to memorize every inch of his body with my fingertips.

The muscles at the backs of his arms straining from holding me up, his body moving faster and faster, filling me deeper and deeper. My little hands don't come close to being able to wrap around his arms, I trace my fingers along the protruding flexing at the back and around to his biceps, the sheer size of them and the sudden knowledge that he could probably lift two of me sends a rushing sensation inside me.

"God Bella, you feel so good." Jasper bounced me up higher and my hips began gyrating at will my body desperate for more. The shift causing the sweetest rubbing against my now swollen nub.

"Harder Jasper, please, harder." The words just slipped from my panting tongue. He groaned and I could feel the heavy weight of the door behind me with each thrust. My back banging against it solidly. I needed more of him, it couldn't end. I was so close to losing control, but I bit back not wanting this closeness to dissolve. My lips hungrily attacked his, sucking his bottom lip between mine, my teeth clamping down at it.

"Pinch your clit Bella, I want to feel you cum on me." he mumbled out.

I dropped one hand between our bodies and did as I was told, pinching and pulling. The sensation alone enough to push me over the precipice but his tone, his ordering me to do it, sent shivers down my spine.

My mouth released his lip and my head fell back against the door, banging, I cried out in pleasure. I can hold out no longer. The rush of fluid I feel as my walls clamp down quivering around his length still pumping into me.

"Fuck. Yes, Oh God. Bella shit, that's it baby, squirt for me." Jasper's voice low and deep his hands squeezing impossibly hard around my hips, he sped up and I heard that growl again.

"Shit, I'm going to cum Bella."

"Do it." I barked out at him, so forcefully, his eyes popped open and I felt him twitch and shudder, the same delicious way he always has when he hits his release. My Jasper, my lover, my husband, the face he only makes for me.

Our bodies slick and damp and pressed tightly together, Jasper pulls my chest against his, my head falling onto his shoulder. I kiss his neck.

"Only you, only ever you Jasper, my husband, my life." I whispered into his ear.

His arms wrapped tighter around me, a drop of moisture rolls down my shoulder, I pull my head back and see his tears flowing openly.

"I thought I lost you."

"Never."

He lowers me to my feet and we stand holding each other for awhile, whispering sweet nothings before finally I say, "I think it's time my husband met the rest of my world. Are you ready for that?"

"I can't wait baby." Jasper backs up; releasing his hold on me and the search for clothing begins. I flick on the light at my desk and I see Jasper look around.

"Nice Bella, I see business is booming, huh?"

I laugh softly, "Baby, you have no idea. Have you even bothered to look at the bank statements I have emailed to you?"

"Nope." Jasper smirks. "Until now this has been all your doing. I am so proud of you Bella. I want to help you now though, I want to do it together."

"I want that too. Side by side." I pull on my jeans, and shove the panties into my bag. Jasper grins watching.

"What they are all wet." I blush and watch him adjust himself into his jeans. I pull my shirt on and look around for his, seeing it torn I laugh.

"Opps, guess you can't wear that."

"It was worth it. I think I left my bag by the bar."

I opened the door to see if I could sneak out to get his bag and nearly tripped over the thing sitting in front of the door.

"I guess we have a bellman, it was delivered." I shake my head, laughing wondering who had the unpleasant task of having to drop it off and turn bright red hoping I wasn't screaming and thrashing against the door at the time.

As if reading my mind, Jasper chuckles and grabs the bag, pulls out a fresh shirt and pulls it over his head.

We dress and walk hand in hand out to the bar, the loud voices begin to fade as we approach, a path spreading for us.

I walk straight to the bar and with Jasper's help climb up on top. The music stops and I look around at all the faces staring back. Some have been friends for years, others valued customers, some are strangers wondering what they walked into tonight.

I clear my throat and look down to Jasper, a smile in his eyes as he gently nods. "Hey everyone, I'd like to introduce you to my husband, and the co-owner of this place. This is Jasper. I know I owe a lot of you an explanation, but none more deserving that the one to my husband and Peter and Edward."

Edward had stopped making out with the strawberry blond, his arm remaining loosely around her shoulders as he watches me, his eyes riveting between Jasper and my mouth. Peter and Alice sat, looking up from their nearly permanent stools at the end of the bar. Rose and Corin had stopped pouring and were holding hands. Emmett walked up behind Rose his arm slipping around her waist. Mike stood from the other end of the bar just watching, keeping any eye on the crowd, the ever vigilant bartender. Santiago had walked in and was just sitting down. Lauren, Tanya and Char all moving closer with their trays coming down from overhead to their waists.

"Jasper and I have been married since just after high school graduation. Jasper is US Army, and has been deployed since shortly after we married. At first I didn't tell anyone about him because I needed to live in the dorms, we couldn't afford for me to live off campus and I was afraid if the University found out I was married they would kick me out of the dorms. By the time we left the dorms," I looked to Alice and Peter and then Edward, smiling softly, fearful, "I didn't know how to tell you. I know it was wrong and it was stupid, but I guess I was young and stupid." A gentle laugh rolled through the bar.

"Edward, Peter, to you two I am so sorry, and please don't be mad at Alice, she was sworn to secrecy we all know what a perfect best friend she is. Edward, you have been a fantastic friend and always there for me when I needed you. I'm sorry I wasn't honest, I truly hope you will forgive me."

I look to Rose and Corin, and Emmet. "I am sorry to you guys, all the times you tried to set me up and I came off as the world's biggest bitch, and probably embarrassed you all. I know you worried about me, and I do have to say, gay? Really?"

The laughter increased and got louder, the tension beginning to cut slightly through the bar.

"The rest of you, I am sorry I wasn't honest about it, I guess it really is true, even the smallest of lies snowballs when you don't tell the truth."

I turned my eyes back to my husband standing before me looking up at me, still with love in his eyes. "Jasper, I owe you the biggest apology, it was never because I didn't love you, or because I was ashamed or that I moved on. Even if you never returned I don't think I would ever stop loving you, ever move on without you. I could never love anyone the way I love you. Please, I beg you; forgive me for keeping you all to myself."

Jasper took my hand and climbs up beside me, kissing me softly, his arm winding around my waist. "I love you Bella, always have, always will." He looks out at the crowd, taking a moment; I'm not sure what is going through his mind, his eyes scanning the crowd, settling first on Emmett and Rose.

"You my man have got to be Emmett, and judging by the way your world gravitates around her, this must be the lovely Rose. Sorry for earlier, no hard feelings. Thank you for all you have done taking care of my wife and the bar." He nodded and some instant guy bond thing happened as Emmett nodded back and Rose actually blushed.

"Rose, I can assure you and Corin, Bella is most definitely not gay." He winks at the pair of them and chuckles, squeezing me tight.

Next his eyes go to Alice and Peter. "It is good to finally meet you, you little Pixie. You know how I feel about you and all you have done for our girl; I can never thank you enough. Peter,  
I look forward to getting to know you, although I feel like I already do."

They nod, Alice smiles and speaks up, "Hi GI Jas. glad to have you home."

Jasper laughs and turns looking straight at Edward. His eyes narrow and he stands perfectly still and silent for a moment. Edward swallows hard and lets his arm drop from her frame, standing ready.

"Well Edward, we meet at last. I guess I can't really blame you, she is pretty fucking fantastic and since she neglected to tell you, and you have been a good friend to her I will let it slide. Thank you for being there at the times I wasn't able to." Edward relaxed a little. "But if you ever make a pass at my wife again, I will kill you." Jasper winks and smirks, the bar laughs and Edward replies, "Duly noted."

Jasper holds my hand as I step down to the stool and then he jumps down from the bar to the floor in one completely fluid motion and takes me by the waist easing me down to the ground. The music resumes and my little family converges around us, Jasper and Edward shake hands and I still see the tension from Jasper through the smile he shoots him. I laugh with Peter as Jasper picks up Alice and spins her around kissing her cheek. Peter and Jasper shake hands and a knowing look passes between them.

Emmett comes over and asks Jasper if he plans to send him into respiratory arrest ever again and the two of them start in on the jokes.

I wink at Mike and signal him to bring a round of Tequila shots for all of us and lean back smiling at how easily my family accepts my husband.

The shots passed out, Santiago and Corin, Lauren, Tanya, Char all join us and I lift my glass, my arm around my husband's waist and toast, "To my family, the best friends a girl could ask for." 


	15. Bars and Wars Chapter 15

Couple announcements. First, you can check out my fic, "It's Darkest Just Before Dawn". It is a repost of something T rated I wrote awhile ago under another name that is getting an upgrade to M rating. It is a tangled weave and starts out Bella/Jake, but makes a lot of turns along the way.

Second, my fic, "Only At Night" is going to be RPing on Twitter, so follow Bella_Oan and Jasper_Oan, for now to follow along if you are interested. I'm excited to see where it goes.

Finally, this story still has a way to go. I have been horrific at replying to reviews lately, but I read every one and squeal and jump for joy at them. Life has just been super busy and since I do 90% on my phone it stinks for replying to reviews. My apologies.

Bars and Wars  
Chapter 15

"Well, this is it, home." I walk in, letting Jasper pass me in the doorway, Peter and Alice lingering behind us.

"Wow, this place is beautiful." Jasper scans the great room opening to the kitchen and the breakfast area. Suddenly I see myself naked, a towel at my feet, Edward at the table, the damn newspaper that can't possibly hide the look on his face. Shaking my head clear of the memory I walk in and grab Jasper's hand.

"Come see the rest." I singsong the words, excited to be together.

Jasper looks to Peter and Alice over his shoulder and says, "I think this is goodnight."

They laugh and I stick my tongue out at Jasper and lead him to our bedroom.

Closing the door, Jasper drops his bag by the dresser and looks around, inspecting the space.

"So this is where you have lived all this time? It looks different than it did from the Skype videos." He chuckles, eyeing the bed.

"You are such a perv." I throw the toss pillow at him. 

"Yes, but I'm your perv." Jasper ducks the flying pillow and tackles me to the bed. 

I am laughing so hard, I can hardly breathe. 

"So, where is Edward's room?" Jasper's words stop my laughter in my throat. I gulp and look up at him. 

"What?" I push at his big chest, needing space. 

"Edward, where is his bedroom?" Jasper crawls off me and lies back against the headboard, his hands behind his neck, watching me. 

"Umm, Jasper, Edward moved out, he has his own place now." I say getting up and pulling the shirt over my head, tossing it into the hamper, my bra following it. 

"Why is that Bella?" I could feel his eyes on me, knowing he fully knew why, if not the details, at least the reason behind it. 

"Jasper, please, I really don't want to do this right now." I unzipped my jeans and pushed them down my hips as I walk in to the bathroom. I brush my teeth, wash my face and strip out of my panties, throwing them in the hamper on my way to the bed.

Jasper gets up and uses the bathroom. I lay back on the bed trying to calm down as I hear the water running and the distinct sound of him brushing his teeth. I hated feeling guilty for something I never did, but the thought that if I had been honest from the start things never would have escalated the way they did. I have to live with that now. Knowing I hurt Jasper, I hurt Edward, and he wasted time pining over me. 

Was I really that selfish, I thought as Jasper walked to the bed, his weight on the other side startling me from my thoughts? 

"Bella, I trust you, but I don't trust Edward. I saw the way he looked at you, the way he looked at me. He is in love with you." Jasper lay on his side looking at me, his hand settling on my hip. 

"That is ridiculous, Jasper. Edward is my friend, yes he is spoiled and wants the thing he can't have, but he is not in love with me." 

"Okay, Bella. I don't really want to talk about Edward while we are in our bed." 

"Deal, because I don't ever want him anywhere near our bed." 

The room goes dark and quiet settles over us. Lying still I smile at the feel of Jasper in the bed next to me, his arm now around me. 

"I love you Jasper, welcome home." 

"I love you Bella, now get some sleep. We can talk in the morning, well, okay afternoon, it already is morning." He laughs slightly and I don't remember anything more until I was stretching out waking up, smiling and reaching over to Jasper, but find only an empty bed. 

"Jasper?" I spring to a seated position looking around, god don't tell me I dreamt that. I see his bag and relax. 

I get up throw on a pair of panties, yoga pants and a tank and go in search of Jasper. 

I find Jasper and Peter seated at the kitchen table talking over the newspaper, coffee pot between them, a pile of eggs and bacon and toast and are those pancakes? 

"Been up awhile boys?" I laugh and begin pouring a cup of coffee. Two heads turn to look at me and Jasper snickered. 

"It's three in the afternoon Bella."  
"What? Oh my God, why did you let me sleep so long?" I frantically whip my head toward the clock in the kitchen. 

"We all did babe." Jasper pushes back in his chair and pats his lap for me to come and join him. I shake my head and perch myself on his lap.

"So why are you guys eating breakfast at 3:00?" 

The two heads look to each other and shrug. "It sounded good at the time, Bella. I am going to go hit the gym; I'll catch you two lovebirds later. Good talk Jasper." Peter slid away from the table and sauntered off to his bedroom. 

I look at Jasper, questioning what that was all about, but he says nothing. I sit down and scoop food onto my plate, I smile as Jasper begins topping off my coffee and passing the toast. 

"What do you have to do today Bella?" Jasper asks as he goes for another helping of eggs. 

"Well, its Sunday, so the bar is closed and usually I do laundry and clean. If I have to I go in and do paperwork for awhile, which I really should do since I need to place orders." I pick up a fork full of eggs and put it into my mouth. 

Jasper watches me eat, and smiles. 

"What?" I say swallowing. 

"Nothing, I just always loved to watch you eat, and it has been too long. I was just thinking that I get to do that every day from now on." 

I smile like a fool. "Yes, yes you do, Mr. Whitlock." 

"Teach me." 

"Teach you what Jasper?" I look at him confused. 

"The bar, its time I learn so I can help you out." He polishes off the eggs in a single bite. 

"Well, alright. We can do laundry tonight." I take another bite and watch him as he starts clearing the table. By the time I'm done eating he has the dishes done and is picking mine up from the table. 

"Slow your roll soldier, this isn't the military, there's no hurry." I laugh. 

"Sorry, habit." He laughs and sits down taking my hands in his. 

"I'm so glad that you are here." 

"So am I. I guess we need to figure out what we are going to do now though." His thumb draws lazy circles across my palm. 

"What do you mean?" I lean forward kissing him lightly.  
He smiles and says, "Well, do we want to continue living here, or get our own place? We could live on base or off. " 

"Oh, yeah. I guess I was thinking I would probably look for something just before the wedding. I wanted to be gone before Peter and Alice got married, so they could come home from their honeymoon to privacy." 

"When's the wedding?" Jasper pulled my chair closer to his. 

I leaned my head against his chest. "Not until April, so what, six months?" 

"Well, if they don't mind us both staying here, I… we can collect on our housing allowance until then and use it for a down payment on something." 

"Jasper, we really don't have to worry about money you know. Between what you make and the bar pulls in, we are in really good shape. It has helped that we have barely spent anything in the past five years." I laugh thinking that the only real expense has been the school expenses the scholarships didn't cover. The Cullen's still refuse to accept a dime from me for rent. Wait till they see the wedding gift Peter and Alice get from us. 

"You know I never really look Bella, I just make sure there's enough going in for you every month and that's about it." 

"I know knucklehead. I keep telling you to spend something." 

"Bella, on what? My needs have been pretty few the past five years. The Army feeds me; I see no reason to spend money you could be using on fast food. I have been sleeping in barracks so long it was weird to wake up in a real bed, and really weird to wake up with you in my arms. That, I can get used to." 

"Well you better. Because I expect that to be the way you wake up every day from now on." 

"I love you." 

"I love you more." 

We sit around talking about housing for awhile and decide to stay until March if Alice and Peter are ok with that. That way I am here to help her with the wedding stuff and we can figure out where we want to live and not rush into buying just anything. Jasper insists on finishing the dishes while I shower and get ready to go to the club. I make room in the bathroom for his things and consolidate some drawer space so he has at least two drawers. I turn to the closet just as he comes in and asks what I am doing. 

"Moving you in silly." 

"Thank you baby." He unpacks his bag and puts things away. "You know, I haven't really lived out of drawers in a long time." 

"Well, you aren't living out of a trunk and duffel in our home, so get used to it." 

He laughs. "Sir. Yes sir." 

"Oh, I like the sound of that." I giggle and throw his dirty socks at him. "Hamper is in the bathroom." 

"Damn you are sexy when you are bossy." He wags his brows and takes his toiletries and dirty socks to the bathroom. 

An hour later we are driving to the bar. I sense Jasper is paying attention to the route and the surroundings. I keep quiet and observe him observing everything else. 

We pull up, and park and I lead Jasper to the back door. "This key opens the back door. The alarm code is your birthday. There are different codes, but that one is just for you and I, it allows us access to everything. Alice is the only one that knows there are places the staff can't get to. But she doesn't have the code either." 

"She has been good to you hasn't she?" 

"Yeah, she's like a sister. I trust her with anything." 

"I like her, Peter too; it seems he's been watching over you for me." 

"Peter is a great guy. I wondered what you two were talking about this morning." 

Jasper smiled and again said nothing. 

"Okay, this key is for the office," I said, opening the door. 

We walked in and Jasper looked at the back of the door as I closed it and began laughing. 

"Sorry I was a bit of an ass last night." 

I looked over at the door and thought about him taking me against it and instantly felt turned on.

"Jasper, I am yours, you can take me anyway you please, and last night, you had every right to claim me the way you did. I would have been pissed if you hadn't." 

"I just really wonder who brought my bag back." He laughed hard as the blush crept up my cheeks. "Bet they got an earful, you were really loud." 

"I WAS NOT." 

"Bella, you screamed my name over and over again, and there were several very loud "Oh FUCK Yeses," thrown in too." 

"Oh my god, you are right. Oh well. I have had to listen to everyone else for years, so too bad." 

He laughed and looked around the office. "So this is what it looks like. I was too distracted last night to even notice."  
I roll my eyes and cluck my tongue. "Okay stud, we gonna do this or what?" 

"Sorry, what's first?" 

I showed Jasper the filing system and the safe and told him the combination. I fired up the computer while I went to show him around the bar. I explained the organization behind the bar and that Rose was OCD about the order and if he messed with it, she would be up his ass in a heartbeat, no matter who he was.

Jasper thought he liked her already. 

I went over the scheduling and explained everyone's roles. I asked him to work with Emmett on security and offer any input once he had a chance to observe it in action. Then I showed him to the downstairs storage areas and coolers. He asked questions and just seemed to take everything in. I wondered whether he was getting it all. 

There were several empty rooms in the basement with its 12 foot ceilings and cement walls. Jasper looked at every inch of the place and just kept quiet. 

We went back up stairs and I showed him the delivery dock and the conveyor system I pointed out downstairs. Then it was time to hit the office and start paper work. 

Several hours later Jasper was still quietly listening and observing everything I did. He asked a few questions here and there or for me to explain something in greater detail. He questioned the whys of a few of the operational aspects. All in all he had been very quiet most of the day. 

"Do you want me to write down any of these passwords? I know there are a lot of them."  
He started with the alarm code to the door and rattled off each and every code and password I had mentioned once during the last few hours in order. I sat stunned looking at him. 

"Did I need it written down?" 

"Um, yeah, no. I guess not." I was amazed; I didn't even remember them all half the time. 

I realized we were late for dinner at the Cullen's house and swore. "Shit," I grab my phone and look to see a missed message from Alice. I called her right back. 

"Hey, sorry, we are at the bar and I lost track of time. Ok we will be there in 20."  
Jasper looks at me confused. 

"I have dinner at Alice's parents every Sunday. We are late and they are about to sit down." 

"Oh. Ok. Well let's go." He closes down the programs and shuts down the computer. I throw the keys to him and say, "Lock up." 

He doesn't miss a step and sets the codes on the first try and I remember now just how smart he is.  
He opens the passenger door and tells me to get in. I watch as he walks around to the driver's side, gets in and slides the seat back and adjusts the mirrors.

"Where to?" I direct him and we drive, chatting about the bar as we head to my pseudo parents home to introduce my husband, yeah, the one they don't know exists. I can feel the nerves jumping in my stomach and my heart rate escalating. 

"Jasper. This is going to be awkward. They don't know anything either." 

"I figured as much Bella. That's why I'm driving; I presumed you'd be freaking out just like you are." 

"I'm sorry." 

"Stop apologizing." 

I give directions and rehearse what I was going to say in my mind. I know they will understand, but I still feel like crap. 

I watch Jasper drive and the smile that forms across my lips stretches wide. I think about how to introduce him and whether Edward will be there tonight. I pray he is, he rarely misses it and his absence would stand out like a sore thumb. 

"Next right." I direct Jasper into the gated community and realize I still have no idea what I am going to say and that I am going to wing it. If I was lucky Alice already told them everything, but that would be too good to be true. 

"Fourth drive on the right." Jasper nods and glances at me. 

"These people are important to you aren't they Bella?" Jasper asks, facing the front again. 

"Yeah, they are Jasper; they have been like parents to me, especially, well since Charlie has been gone. Your Mom and Dad have been great, but I don't see them much, they have been gone a lot." 

"I know Bella. I saw them a couple months ago. They were only able to spend two days with me." 

"So. Yeah. Dr. and Mrs. Cullen have been great." I take a deep breath and unfasten the seat belt as

Jasper puts the car in park at the top of the horseshoe drive. 

"Damn. Nice place they have. Don't worry Bella. I will be on my best behavior." Jasper turns and gets out coming around to open my door before I can even respond. 

Taking Jasper's hand in mine, we walk to the door I have let myself into a thousand times before. It's funny; I never felt my knees knocking this way before though. Rapping my knuckles once, I open the door and walk in, Jasper in tow. I put my bag down under the foyer table and squeeze Jasper's hand. 

"In here Bella." Alice's little voice chimes loudly through the large entry way, the direction coming from the dining room. I gulp, and brace myself, leading us to the table and see the extra place setting next to mine. 

"Hi everyone, sorry we are late, I lost track of time." My eyes went to Mrs. Cullen and all I saw was the brilliant smile, relaxing me. I am not sure what I was expecting, maybe a light disappointment that the finality of the realization that I would not end up with Edward had finally hit. 

"Esme, Carlisle, I would like you to meet Jasper, my husband." There, I said it, it's out there. They can choose how to respond. 

Edward watched Jasper closely as Jasper let go of my hand and walked straight to Esme and nodded,

"Ma'am, pleased to make your acquaintance," then wait until Esme stood, and pulled him into a hug worthy of a momma bear. 

"Jasper, the pleasure is mine, welcome to the family." She kissed his cheek and beamed at me. 

"Thank you Ma'am." Jasper returned the hug and looked to Carlisle.

Carlisle smiled. He was on his feet now and he and Jasper met half way, at the middle of the dining table and shook hands. Some silent communication took place between them and Carlisle welcomed Jasper home and Peter and Edward stood and shook Jasper's hand.

Edward started right back into the story he had been telling when we came in and Jasper held my chair for me as I took a seat. Esme beamed with some something that resembled pride and I sat back and looked around at what truly was my extended family now.

As everyone takes a turn telling stories about the week and work and what not I watch as Jasper is fully included. He and Peter laugh about some kitchen mishap over pancakes this morning and suddenly I feel as if everything is going to be alright.

The conversation turns to wedding plans and as dinner ends the guys veer off to shoot pool and Alice announces she has swatches. What more swatches she can possibly have is beyond me, but after a quick kiss and a squeeze of the hand Jasper and I smile and head off with our respective groups.

Of course, once Esme and Alice have me alone, the real questioning begins. I can't help but laugh as Esme fawns over how simply yummy my husband is. I expect to get the third degree over why I never told them, but instead she simply says, "Bella, you are like a daughter to me, and although I feel awful that you felt you had to keep that secret, Carlisle and I both understand and are just so glad to see you so happy."

Alice was the first to raise the subject and with tears in her eyes she begged, "Bella please don't move out until the wedding? I need your help."

I spell out the thoughts Jasper and I had discussed and ask what she thinks of that idea and both Alice and Esme squeal in delight. I tell Esme that we will be happy to contribute by paying rent and for the thousandth time she says, "My children will never pay me rent."

I smile and say, "Thank you Esme, for everything."

We agree that Jasper and I will stay put until just before the wedding. Alice and Esme will help me start looking at houses and Esme offers to help decorate. I jump at the offer, knowing I will need all the help I can get when it comes to making a house look and feel like a home, with all the right little touches.

Esme sends Alice off to collect the swatches and lets me in on a secret. "Bella, don't tell, but the house is going to be a wedding gift for Alice and Peter."

"Wow, Esme that is so generous. I know they will be thrilled." I hug her tightly and feel like she really is my mother.

"So, do you think I need to worry about your husband killing my son?" Esme laughs.

"No." I laugh along with her and shake my head. "I think they will be fine, you know I feel worse about not telling Edward about Jasper than anything else."

Esme nods and gives me a sympathetic smile as she says, "I'm sure Bella. But you shouldn't worry; you really never did do anything to lead him on. I guess I'm as much to blame, always talking about how wonderful it would be for him to settle down with a woman like you." Esme sighs and sits back against the love seat.

"I really am sorry Esme."

"I know you are Bella. Let's not talk about it again; it's in the past and done."

I nod and smile just as Alice comes bouncing into the room, her arms full of swatches and magazines.

An hour later we have linens narrowed down to three choices. Alice runs off to fetch the guys so she can share the big news with them and Peter can weigh in. They come trailing in, laughing, all ribbing Peter about the most important decision he will ever make.

Jasper comes and stands behind me, bending down to kiss my cheek and whisper in my ear, "I missed you."

I feel the crimson heating up my neck and face and sit back smiling. 


	16. Bars and Wars Chapter 16

Bars and Wars Chapter 16

Waking up, a smile on my face, I reach over and realize Jasper is already up. I shake my head, wondering if that boy ever actually sleeps more than a few hours at a time. I make my way to the bathroom and stop just inside the door. Looking around I see the towels folded neatly over the bar and not only the seat down, but the lid as well, The counter is spotless, all my makeup organized in the tray, the brushes in the holder, not scattered the way I know I left them. I grin and open the cabinet for my toothbrush.

"Whoa. What the hell?" who organizes the inside of the medicine cabinet? I look, seeing the nail polish bottles lined up on one shelf, the lotions on the other end. All the pain relievers and cold meds are on the top shelf, the labels facing out.

"Talk about anal?" I jump in the shower and find the shampoos and conditioners and bath gels and shaving gear all similarly organized. "Good lord. I am living with an order freak."

I hurry through my morning routine and head out to find Jasper. I get to the kitchen and there is nobody there, coffee brewed and waiting, I pour a cup and walk to the living room. As I pass the garage I hear grunting and the loud, muffled sound of something hitting something. I open the door and see Jasper and Peter, shirtless, sweating, arms wrapped around each other.

"What in the hell are you two doing?" I rub at my eyes trying to focus, wondering if I am still asleep and dreaming this.

"Morning beautiful." Jasper calls over his shoulder as he turns toward me, dropping his arms from around Peter.

Peter grins and nods, "Good morning Bella, your boy is in quite the shape."

I look at the two chiseled chests and abs before me and the low hanging shorts around two perfect pair of hips and swallow hard. The sweat made both of the hard bodies glisten in the dim light of the garage.

"Anyone care to explain what the hell is going on in here?" Jasper walks towards me and I finally notice the boxing gloves around his hands.

"Turns out Peter likes to box for a workout, so we kind of set up a little gym in here. We didn't wake you did we baby?" Jasper leaned in to kiss me and I laughed as our lips met.

"You are all sweaty and I just showered." I pull back just letting our lips meet to kiss him good morning.

"Where's Alice?" I looked over to Peter, staring down at his gloves, his teeth wrapped around the end of one of the laces.

"She left for work already Bella. Hey, how about a little help here?" he held the gloves out to me with a grin.

"Sure." I pulled the laces of each of Jasper's gloves and tugged at the right hand, pulling it free then did the same for Peter.

"You guys did all this already this morning?" I asked, looking around at the reorganized garage.

"Yep, we did and we had an hour long workout before you came in." Jasper grinned.

"Jasper, what time did you get up this morning?" I shake my head.

"0400 Bella," he shrugged.

"Oh hell no," I laughed and headed back inside for more coffee.

Jasper followed behind, still laughing, he asked, "What's on the agenda today?"

"The Club is closed on Monday, usually I run errands, do paperwork if I need to, but really there is nothing I have to do, we can just hang out if you want."

"I'd like that. Maybe you can show me around Seattle, we can just mess around for the day."

I sit happily watching him as I spoon yogurt into my mouth and drink my coffee, still just reeling with the fact that he is really home and we can really start our life together, finally.

"Let me get changed and ready and then we can go play tourist." I threw the empty yogurt container in the garbage and rinsed my cup, placing it in the sink. "I'm going to go get ready."

"Be right there." I left Jasper in the kitchen and went to the bathroom, stripping out of the yoga pants and shirt I had just put on. Walking to the bathroom, in my bra and panties to brush my teeth, I picture Jasper, sweaty and pumped up from his workout and grin into the mirror.

"What are you smiling about beautiful?" Jasper leans against the door jamb, looking at me over my shoulder.

"I'm just so glad you are finally home." I watch as he walks to the shower and turns it on and strips out of those low hanging shorts, tossing them into the hamper. He steps behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, his chin leaning on my shoulder as he smiles into the mirror.

"I am very glad to be with you, Bella."

I lean back against him taking a deep breath and close my eyes. I feel the press of his lips against my shoulder and the soft kisses begin to trail up and down my neck. His big strong hands slide down my waist to my hips. My body pulls back against his, hot skin against hot skin. My arm rises up to his head, as I push closer, back into him.

Jasper's hands slide under the band of my panties and his crawling fingers tease over my mound. His lips kiss behind my ear; his tongue darting out and flicking against the lobe. I can feel the quickening in my tummy already after just the briefest touch.

My panties move further down my hips, over the curve of my ass, and begin to descend down my thighs, Jasper's hands move up my body, each cupping a breast, gently squeezing.

"Open your eyes Bella; I want you to watch what I do to you." The heady breath expelled in my ear, the words, dripped with pure sex and lust.

I groan out, but open my eyes to see his smirk in the mirror, his face over my shoulder, I follow his eyes as they move down to my breasts and together we watch his fingers pinch my nipples and tug slightly. Jasper's hands move over to cup and massage, his thumb alternately circling and pressing down against the now hardened buds. I watch as the little sting fills me, the tip showing between his fingers, pinched tight, his thumb flicking the sensitive point. I yearn for his tongue to be doing that flicking.

I move my hands back to his hips, needing to just touch him, anywhere, to feel the heat of him. He stops me and looks up into the mirror, his head cocked, brow raised. I sense the challenge in his look. Looking at me for a brief moment, his eyes darken before me.

"Put your hands on the counter and keep them there," he says watching me. Jasper's commanding tone causes me to immediately comply, that tightening in my stomach now like a winch, the lever turning one notch.

He watches me, waiting until my hands firmly grip the counter and then continuing to play with my breasts, he returns to kissing my neck, and with his lips makes his way down my shoulders and my back. His hands move lower erotically running up and down my sides, just grazing the side of my meaty breasts and coming perilously close to my mound, but not quite touching it.

I feel his lips as they make their way across my ass. I jump in a startle as his teeth sink into the fleshy bump of my backside. His hands slide down the backs of my thighs in response. My breathing becomes heavy, the anticipation building, another turn of the lever and the winch tightens yet again. My hands grip the counter tighter, my breath shallow.

Jasper breathes against the skin of my thighs, a soft blowing, and a shudder runs down my spine from the stem of my neck to the base of my core. "Oh God, Jasper!"

The feeling of his hands sliding up my inner thighs has me panting out in need. I want him to touch me so badly. His hands get closer and closer, moving so damn slowly. Just when he hits the apex of my core they drop back down and his teeth sink into the other side of my ass. I scream out.

His little love bites trail down my thighs, licking and nipping at each quivering leg. His hands spread my legs wider as he tortures me with delicious attention. I watch in the mirror at my heaving chest. My ass now pushed out and back just begging for more. I can see the top of Jasper's head between my legs and the sight alone is enough to lose all control. I fight it though, and hold out. He still hasn't even touched my sex and when he does, I just know that I am going to explode like a fourth of July firework.

Fingers crawl their way back up my legs, and I feel them just at my lips, sliding in the slick wetness seeping from me. I hear the smirking chuckle and can do nothing more than moan.

"God that is so hot Bella. I do love the way you respond to my touch." The gentle motion sliding back and forth against the length of my slit has drawn all my focus, forcing me to try not to squirm. My mind so wrapped around that battle I am completely unprepared for the hard smack across my ass when it comes. I scream out, desperate to catch my breath but determined not to let go of my hold on the counter top.

Before I am able to recover, the gentle sliding motion against my slit becomes rougher and concentrated at the top. His fingers hitting my clit send my mind reeling and the winch turning yet again in my belly. I drop my head, arching my back and my eyes close in sweet pleasure.

"Open them. Now!"

The quip so sharp, my eyes instantly open landing on Jasper's fingers through the mirror. His arm wraps around my hip and his assault on my now swelling bundle of nerves takes on a new dimension. It is relentless; I can barely stand on my own legs anymore. Then I feel his other hand, sliding back along my slit. He purposely waited until I knew what he was about to do to me.

His long middle finger circles my entrance, I am so wet it slides right in and begins pumping. I can feel his thumb circling the tight puckered flesh of my ass and my breath begins to hitch. I know what he is thinking. I look up in the mirror to see his face and the look alone is enough to send me over the edge of oblivion. I see a man so ready to take what is his; a man willing to go to any length to pleasure his woman. I see the soldier determined to complete his mission, the lover, waiting for his mate's screams. He looks at me, his deep dark eyes fixed on mine, his thumb slips past the tight hole and his hands thrust, pumping and rubbing. He growls low in his chest.

"Cum, cum hard for your husband, I want you to watch yourself lose all control at my hands."

"OH FUCK!" I didn't need his words; I didn't need to see the look in his eyes. My body was his. It always was and always will be. I shook so hard, my entire body felt the winch release and I came for him over and over again.

When I didn't think I could take another second, he pulled his fingers free and lifted me, carrying me into the shower and wrapped my legs around his waist. My back against the tile wall, he lowered me onto his hardened length, and took me again and again. His thick cock hit deep and pulled nearly out with each thrust. My breasts bouncing in his face, he opened his mouth catching one, and pulled it inside, sucking hard, he nibbled at the aching nipple. I groan at the sensation and his hands holding me up squeeze at my ass, digging into the flesh. The wide spread of my legs and ass force him deeper still as my back bangs against the wall. My body clenching around him, I beg him not to stop. I rock my hips into his taking him as deep as I can still wanting more.

I unwrap my legs, and let myself slide down his body, my lips kissing every inch of flesh I can take purchase of. He turns my body pressing my sore breasts against the wall and pushes against me. Filling me from behind, my arms up above my head flattened against the wall he takes them by the wrists holding them in place as he begins slamming into me. My hips move with his in the powerful dance of a jackhammer.

His words in my ear, telling me how good I feel, how hard I make him, how badly he has wanted me, music to my soul. I whisper out to him that I want it harder, faster, deeper. I tell him I want him to fuck me senseless and not stop. My words flow from a place I didn't know existed. I beg him to spank me, to pull my hair, I cry for his teeth to penetrate me.

The water long ago gone cold, our bodies' hot and wet, slam against one another, shivering in the contrast. I cry out to him, "Please, Jasper please I need you to cum inside me, I need to feel it when you can't take it anymore and fill me."

"Jesus Bella." We came again, together crumpled against the shower wall, sliding down to the floor in a tangled mess of limbs.

"God I love you Jasper Whitlock."

"No where near as much as I love you Bella Whitlock."

We sit there, on the shower floor for as long as it took Jasper to recover sufficiently to turn the ice cold spray off and grab towels. He wraps me in one bath towel and himself in another and carries me, kissing the entire way to our bed. Gently laying me down, he sits beside me, fingering my hair from my face and smiles down.

"That was fun as hell."

I laugh, bite my lip and ask if we can do it again some time.

"You can count on that."

We sit quietly and just look at each other for a few minutes before Jasper gets up and walks to the dresser, picking out a matching set of lace undergarments for me.

"I want you to wear this," he says handing them to me and heads to my closet, picking out a skirt and low cut v neck top, "and this."

I gulp and know exactly what he has in mind and quickly dress while he watches from across the room, leaning against the wall in his towel.

He dresses while I dry my hair and apply some light makeup. When we finish I walk to the kitchen to grab a couple bottles of water from the refrigerator for the road while he grabs the keys and his cell.

I can't help but notice the coffee cup is no longer in the sink, the coffee pot off and cleaned and returned to the maker, the used filter in the garbage. I shake my head and grin and meet Jasper at the garage door.

I insist on driving so Jasper can enjoy the ride and look out at the sights while we tour Seattle. I laugh as his knee continuously bounces and get the biggest kick out of his discomfort of having me behind the wheel and him at my mercy.

I drive to the base so that he can see the route from home to there and he says he needs to go in and check it out, so we drive in. We walk around for a bit and Jasper buys some uniform things at the PX before we decide to go grab some lunch.

"What do you feel like eating Curls?" I ask, teasing him.

"You tell me, what kinds of restaurants are around here?"

I rattle of the chains I can think of and watch him clench his jaw and shake his head.

"I don't really do fast food crap Bella."

"Well hell, that's all I ever eat lately. It's not like I go out to eat by myself that often. Hmm, let me think about it."

Jasper mumbled something and looked out his window for a long time.

"What?" I looked at him as I drove. "What did I say?"

"Nothing, just forget it."

"Well, what do you want to eat?"

"I don't care, just not fast food. I can actually take you to a real restaurant you know."

Aw hell. What just happened? I sighed and tried to bite my tongue.

"Okay. How about Italian? Olive Garden?" I suggested.

"Is there any decent Thai food around here?" he asked.

"I don't know. I'm not that big of a fan of Thai."

"Chinese then?" He said, exasperated.

"Yeah, okay, I know a good place." I drove to the restaurant in silence. Were we really arguing over food?

Jasper jumped out of the car the minute I put it in park and looked around like he was looking for signs of trouble around every corner. By the time I got out and walked over to him he grabbed my hand and practically pulled me inside the restaurant.

We were seated right away and handed menus that we both hid behind until the waiter came for our orders. Then had nothing left to hide behind when he walked away.

"Jasper, I'm sorry, but what just happened?" I looked across the table at him.

"It's nothing, I just, I feel like you are blaming me for being alone and eating shit food the whole time." He shrugged.

"What?" Did I really do that?

"I'm sorry I just, yeah, that's what it feels like when you make those types of comments. I feel bad enough that you were alone, I don't need the little passive aggressive jabs to make me feel worse." Jasper picks up the sugar container and organizes the packets neatly into type and facing the same direction as I watch.

His hands were busy turning packets this way and that, placing the pink behind the white, followed by blue and yellow.

I sit back and try to figure out how to handle this. I was shocked by his words, but I wasn't entirely sure that I wasn't doing just that; punishing him for leaving me alone.

"Jasper, I'm really sorry. I guess I was wrong to do that. I didn't mean to punish you, I am just glad you are here. Can you be patient with me while I get used to you being here?"

I waited as he looked at me, sliding the sugar holder back in its place. "It's okay Bella. I guess we both have to get used to living together and me being home."

The food arrives and silences the conversation before it could go any further. My appetite was waning but I do my best to eat at least a respectable portion of the food. By the time we finish eating we are back to making insignificant small talk and I wonder if this familiar body across from me is a complete stranger to me.


	17. Bars and Wars Chapter 17

Things seemed to go the same way for the next month. We would have these incredible breakthroughs, sit and talk for hours about the most mundane things, make earth shattering love and stop speaking over a paperclip out of place on the office desk. I wasn't entirely convinced that it wasn't what every married couple goes through. Hell, I knew Alice and Peter fought. I had heard a few of their arguments over the years. Alice had cried in my arms more than once. They always worked it out and I am sure that we will too.

I spent my time helping Alice on some of the last minute wedding shopping and Jasper and I had several appointments with the realtor to look at houses. I went with Alice to look for favors for the guests and after three hours of nothing being perfect enough for her we took a break for lunch before I had to go to meet Jasper and the realtor. As we sit at the table waiting for our salads Alice asks, "How are things going with you and Jasper?" while she fiddles with her napkin. I realize I have no real answer.

"I think good, I mean it's an adjustment for both of us, ya know, but yeah, good." I ramble, knowing full well how ridiculous it sounds. Alice stares across the table, falling back against the booth.

"I call bullshit, Bella. Talk to me, what is it, what's wrong?" She prods, but she was always right, she always knew better than I did when something was troubling me.

"Oh Alice," I choke out, tears in my eyes, "I don't know what to do. He seems a million miles away sometimes. It's like he isn't really here." I swipe at my eyes, the moisture on the back of my hand smears with black smudges of mascara.

"Bella, he has been through a lot, I'm sure. Things will work out, you just have to bear with him and trust in that sweetheart." Alice leans forward and takes my hands in hers as she speaks. I nod and sniffle a bit, trying to calm myself.

"Alice, I have loved him for so long, but right now, I'm not sure I even know who he is anymore. It's like living with a stranger sometimes. I love him, I really do, I just don't know him. Does that even make any sense?" I shake my head as the salads are placed in front of us.

"Bella, maybe you should talk to some of the other wives in one of your groups. I'm sure you are not the only one going through this. There has to be someone you can talk to, right?" Alice digs into her salad; I can tell it is more for show than anything else.

We finish lunch, neither of us really eat that much. Thinking about what Alice said as I drive over to meet Jasper I decide I will try reaching out for someone else to talk to.

This is our fourth trip out looking for houses. I am getting discouraged. Jasper was very particular about some things. By the third house, we were ready to call it a day, but the realtor assures us this one has everything we want. So we agree to one more. She was right. This was the one, it is perfect, and it has everything we need. It even meets Jasper's high standards. We are so excited; Jasper lifts me off the ground swinging me around in a wide circle, kissing me. I laugh and the realtor drew up the offer. The owners were so desperate to sell it and get it off the market that we receive a call an hour later that despite the low bid, they accept and are anxious to close as soon as possible. The fact that we were paying cash meant we didn't have to wait on banks. Luckily Peter offers to handle the legal review and title search and the closing.

We were closed and taking possession within two weeks. I was so excited. We were moved in two weeks before Alice and Peter's wedding. I refused to let Alice and Esme to do anything until after the wedding and honeymoon. All we had was bedroom furniture, so we painted that room and our bath and let everything else wait until after the wedding. It is odd being in a house with no furniture. In a way it was kind of perfect though. It gives us a chance to get used to the space and decide what we really want to do with it.

Jasper organizes the kitchen and stocks the pantry and freezer and refrigerator. Until we decide on colors and themes we stick with old dishes I had in storage that belonged to Charlie.  
We're so consumed with last minute details of wedding plans and fittings and alterations that I was barely even home. One night after helping Alice approve the final floral arrangements she drives back to her house and we walk inside to find Peter in his shorts on the couch reviewing some files. He grabs a pillow and covers himself, yelling out in a startled gasp. "Jesus Alice you should have called and warned me Bella was coming over."

It was the first moment it occurred to me that I don't live here anymore. "Hell, now I need a ride home." Alice looks at me and we both laugh.

By the time I get back home and tell Jasper the story, he's not laughing. It is not so humorous to him that I had forgotten all about our life together as he puts it. Sighing I walk to our room, slam the door and fall onto the bed in tears. I must have fallen asleep at some point.

When I woke up Jasper was gone and I frantically search for a sign he is coming back. When all his things are right where they should be I slide down the bedroom wall, relief washing over me. As I sit and cry, I begin to wonder if Jasper is really okay. I had no idea what he has been through. Not really. I realize he never speaks of it, not really. He has spoken about general things, the weather the stress, the food. He spoke of a few of his fellow squad members. He has told funny stories about the antics in the barracks and the screw ups that couldn't hack it. Now, as I sit and think about it I realize he never spoke a word of the things that probably matter the most; the things that impacted him, the horrors he must have seen. I never hear a word of a mission that didn't entail some absurd chain of events that went from bad to ridiculous in a matter of minutes. It dawns on me that he is telling stories. He isn't confiding in me. He hasn't been letting me in, he has been pacifying me.

Alice and Peter are getting married in two days and my husband is slipping away from me. I have no time to dwell on whatever it is that is going on. There would be plenty of time to figure out what is going on with Jasper after the wedding, once Alice and Peter are gone on their honeymoon.

I climb up off the floor and wipe at my eyes with the back of my hand and feel the lurching of my stomach. I run to the bathroom, barely making it in time before my gut betrays me. My stomach contents emptied, my dignity flushing with the swirl circling the bowl, I sit back on my heels and wipe my mouth on a tissue, tossing the soiled thing into the bowl. My mouth rinsed, teeth brushed, water consumed I jump in the shower and got ready to meet Alice for a day of unwanted pampering and in my words, torture.

I remember every one of her instructions and make sure to abide. I pull out my flip flops, let my hair air dry, and resist the urge to secure the long mop into a hair band and twist it in a sloppy knot at the back of my head. "NO ponytail lines!" Alice's words beat in the subconscious of my mind.

I write a note for Jasper to remind him that I had to spend the day getting primped and pampered for Alice's festivities that start with the rehearsal tomorrow. I finish the note with I love you and set it on the dresser. Grabbing my bag I leave to pick up Alice and Esme for our day at the spa.

I swear Alice is like a piranha. The minute I walk into Esme's house she starts barking at me. "Oh damn it Bella, really? Your eyes are swollen from crying and you smell like you puked. Did you have to do this the day before my wedding festivities start?"

"ALICE." Esme yells out, "Watch your manners, young lady." Esme hugs me to her chest and brushes her hand through my hair, smoothing it out.

"I'm sorry Bella, I'm so stressed out. What happened?" Alice begins patting my back.

"We are not going to talk about this now. Everything will be fine. After the wedding I am going to make sure Jasper is really okay then everything will be fine." I sound like a broken record as I hurry us out the door, going on about how we were not going to be late for our spa treatments and do my best to act excited.

Changing into the spa provided robe in the dressing room, Alice and Esme already fussing about in the lounge area, pouring water with lemon from the crystal pitcher, I shove my things into the locker and check my phone, to turn it off. I see a text message and check it to see an apology from Jasper and promptly shut it down, locking the locker and joining Alice and Esme.  
We each get our private wrap treatments first. I select seaweed and cucumber and let myself relax as much as I am able. Feeling better by the time the wrap was done; the facial and massage helping me to relax. The three of us join together again for pedicures and manicures, laughing and drinking sparkling wine. Alice is a nervous wreck and Esme and I take full advantage to tease her over it.

Once our nails are dry and flip flops securely hugging our feet we are whisked to have the practices done on our hair and makeup applications tested out. Alice was not one to leave a single thing to chance. Everything for the wedding day was fully rehearsed down to the false eyelashes she insists I wear.

Completely made up and over, the three of us walk to the mirror and even in our plush white spa monogrammed robes, we look beautiful. We stand, speechless just looking into the mirror. I decide I want to get home and to Jasper, maybe a night out just the two of us. After all, it seemed a shame to waste all this primping.

I text Jasper and ask him to take me out to dinner and to be dressed and ready to go when I get home. I suppose he was still feeling a bit guilty because he quickly replies agreeing and stating he knows just the place and will make reservations.

I drop Alice and Esme and hurry home, changing quickly into a little black dress and heels, Jasper just finishing dressing and comes walking out of the bath just as I step into my shoes.

"Wow, Bella, you look so beautiful." Jasper stops in his tracks and just stares at me. It reminds me of those days so long ago, when he saw what no other person saw.

He walks slowly to me, taking my hands in his. "I'm sorry Bella, I'm so sorry about yesterday."

I nod my head, trying to smile up at Jasper. "Tonight I just want to have dinner together, and forget any troubles. Please, once this wedding is over we can sit down and talk, okay. Tonight I just want my husband, my Jasper."

He nods; kissing my raised hand and holding the bedroom door open for me. We make small talk on the drive to the restaurant and keep it light and casual. Jasper takes me to an Italian restaurant I had never been to, he says that he had heard it was good. We are both trying and it was rather obvious while we were in the car, but the minute we got out and Jasper placed his hand at the small of my back guiding me inside it all changed.

It had all the earmarking of a first date. Jasper is the perfect gentleman, holding my chair, and asking me what I like as we peruse the menu. He defers to my taste on the wine and orders for us. We ask one another silly first date questions, but in all honesty, I don't know that either of us knew the other's answers. It seems strange, but at the same time, it was like we had started over without ever deciding that was what we were going to do. Jasper was so attentive and he is honest with me. I stay away from the hard topics and Jasper seems relieved.

By the time I finish with my Bow Tie with Vodka sauce and Jasper inhales his Linguini and Clam Sauce I am stuffed and laughing so hard my stomach hurts. We decide to skip dessert and stop by the bar on the way home. I was a tad nervous with being gone for three of our busy nights with the wedding, but I know Emmett and Rose and the crew would handle it without a problem.

I feel Jasper tense for just a moment before we walk in the front door, but then relax once we get inside and he looks around. I realize what the tension is about and grit my teeth. I am not about to let anything spoil our night. We have made progress and that means something. The next few days are going to be a whirlwind and I just want one night of calm before it starts.

Everything seems to be running smoothly; our bartenders don't look a bit surprised to see us. "We knew you couldn't stay away." Seems to be the common sentiment as each of them greets us and hurries back to their duties.

We decide to have one dance and head on home. The knowledge that the next couple days would be so hectic makes it an easy call for an early night.

We get home and change, crawling into bed where I fall asleep promptly in Jasper's arms, my head resting solidly on his chest, one leg between his, the other draped over his top leg. I don't even remember the last thing I said and was still in that position when I wake up to the blaring alarm clock accompanied by Alice's descript ring tone.

Jasper groans and grabs the phone from the nightstand as I hit the off button on the alarm clock. "Alice, I'm pretty sure she left town." He laughs holding the phone away from his ear as the high pitched shrill comes resonating out of it. I can't help but laugh as I take the phone and repeat for three minutes, "Calm down, he's joking."

And so it begins the wedding we had all been waiting for. 


	18. Bars and Wars Chapter 18

Chapter 18 Bars and Wars

The wedding is finally here. When we reach the Cullen's house it is already an organized chaos. The photographer and florist are each setting up for photos. Alice was calmer than I had expected. I suspect Carlisle may have dosed her. The words she kept repeating certainly don't sound like the Alice I knew.

"Well, I did everything I could for it to be perfect, what happens, happens now Bella." She even looked like she was convinced herself.

Our makeup and hair were done and Carlisle pokes his head in to say that it was almost time for the photographer. Esme and I help Alice into her dress and she looks even more beautiful with the hair and makeup done. As she steps into her heels, she turns and looks into the mirror and smiles.

"You look so beautiful Alice. I look at her for a long moment and think how different it is from my wedding day all those years ago. I could never imagine going through what Alice did to plan this day, but as I look at her I think "now that is how a bride is meant to look."

Esme began to cry, looking at her only daughter. Alice hugs her and tells her not to mess up her makeup. We began to laugh and Alice grins, winking at her mother and announcing it is time.

The photographer takes more pictures than I can count and we haven't even left the house yet.

I could already feel my face straining with the smiles. We quickly make our way to the backdrop Alice had decided on for the outdoor pictures in the back yard. Esme had gone to a lot of work designing a beautiful landscape just for the occasion. I couldn't help but chuckle thinking of how differently Charlie would have handled a wedding. I could just imagine kegs lining the back deck.

As last the final outdoor picture is snapped, Jasper walking toward me in a tux stops me cold. He looks so handsome. Catching the naughty grin he was shooting me I have a feeling he is having similar thoughts about me. I barely notice the flashes out of the corner of my eye when Jasper pulls me into his arms kissing me and turning me against his chest, my back against him, his head on my shoulder. I hear a soft chorus of awes and realize that the entire family is watching us and the photographer is snapping away at Jasper and I.

The blush on my cheeks burns and I can't help but drop my head attempting to hide my embarrassment. Jasper only lifts my chin with his delicate touch and whispers into my ear, only causing the blush to turn from pink to crimson.

Carlisle is finally the one to rescue me. He claps his hands together and announces it is time to go if we are getting to the wedding venue on time. As if on cue the limousines pull up in the front drive and Edward turns his back walking into the house, the rest of the group following closely. Jasper kept my hand in his and holds us back a minute. "You look so beautiful Bella, I am so sorry you never got this pomp and circumstance with our wedding."

"Jasper this is a bit extreme, I would have never wanted this, I mean can you even picture Charlie then with all this?" I waved my hand around the yard and toward the house and laughed as Jasper shudders.

"True, but my mom would have taken over anyway, you know that, right?" Jasper starts walking toward the house, leading me at his side.

I pull on Jasper's hand stopping him just before we walk into the house. "Jasper, I don't regret a thing about the way we did things, don't you ever think that I do. I married my best friend that day."

Jasper turns to face me, his hands on my hips, his eyes looking into mine. "Bella, the one thing I have done in this life that I have no doubts about, is marrying you." His forehead leans in and rests against mine for a moment. "Let's go watch your friends tie the knot."

We slide into the limousine and the never ending excited chatter that fills the air as we make our way to the venue. Jasper ends up across the seat from me with Carlisle listing all the things that Jasper needs to check on. I watch as he listens intently, a polite nod here and there and I smile.

Esme begins a teary journey down memory lane, recounting Alice as a child and then as a young teen, of her first dance and first boyfriend. Edward grimaces and turns his eyes out the opposite window.

The rest of the bridal party in the following limousine can be heard singing out the windows. I half wish I were with them and laugh at the knowing look Alice shoots at me.

Before I know it we are waiting at the closed doors of the ceremony site, the guests have all been seated, the music playing. I hear the signal and adjust Alice's dress, Carlisle stepping in to offer his arm. I watch the doors open and the girls in front of me start their way down the aisle.

It is my turn and I look to the front, Edward standing there, looking toward me, an empty gaze to his eyes. I look at the rows of seated guests catching sight of Jasper, his eyes moving between Edward and myself. I can see the slight furrow of his brow and the turn to a smile as he faces me.

I place one foot in front of the other and begin to walk the length of the runner to the front, stopping just before Edward, taking his arm to walk the remaining few feet in silence. He never so much as acknowledges me before dropping his arm as we separate to take our places, turning to watch Alice.

I can hear the soft intake of breath from Peter as Alice steps to the doorway and beams radiantly. Esme chokes back a quiet sob and the march begins, every guest standing at once, all eyes on Alice and Carlisle as they make their way to the front, to Peter.

Try as I might to listen to the words spoken, the memories of years ago dull the prose and blind me to anything other than a young soldier, short clipped words announcing us husband and wife and the wide eyed innocence of two kids. I can't help but smile and glance back at Jasper. To find his eyes on me, ignoring the ceremony as did I, sends a shudder along my spine starting at the base of my neck and slowing into a burning rolling at my core.

I turn quickly away; sure my cheeks were glowing with the thoughts running through my mind.

Alice turns to me, handing over her bouquet, "Pay attention Bella," she giggles and turns back to Peter.

I bite my lip and watch as the rings are blessed and exchanged and vows recited. I adjust Alice's train a couple times; making sure it is perfect for her. Although the ceremony is beautiful, I can't help but think how true my words to Jasper earlier were. What we had may have been simple and not fitting Alice for sure, it was perfect for us. This, this was too much. Every eye is on the bride and groom, whispers and approvals floating on the air, all the time in preparations and the money. My God, the money spent was enough to make me dizzy. I doubt Jasper and I have spent as much throughout our entire marriage.

By the time the ceremony was ending I was grinning and I am sure it seemed like I was happy for the couple. I was, very happy for Alice and Peter but I was also realizing that Jasper and I are not everyone else and that was exactly why we worked. It was time I put more faith in us and stopped worrying about what anyone else told me was normal or right.

Taking Edward's obligatorily proffered arm, I scoff at him. He actually blinks and stutters for a moment, I grin and wink at Jasper as we pass by and dropping Edward's arm at the front of the aisle I turn and wait for Jasper.

The moment he makes it to the aisle I grab him and kiss him, "Thank you for never putting me through all that." We laugh and take the bottles of bubbles from the basket held out by one of the other bridesmaids. Jasper begins blowing bubbles at Alice and Peter and the cameras start flashing in our eyes once more.

The bubbles seem to float and carry us from the back of the ceremony to the cocktail hour. Everywhere a consistent buzz filled with oohs and ahhs over Alice's dress, the rings, and the flowers. Alice is beaming and Peter looks like the cat that ate the canary. I think back to the library and suddenly laugh at the image of Peter, coffee and books piled high. I can't help but remember the first time he and Alice met. I know they each found their other half that night sitting at my bar.

I can hear the whispered murmurs about Edward's solemn behavior, the musings on his coming dateless and who he will be leaving with and follow the conversation to his back. He stands at the bar and I watch as he downs a double with barely a breath and sigh hoping he doesn't do something stupid and ruin Alice's day.

The next thing I know I am being pulled along behind the bride with a chorus of instructions on readying her for the receiving line and touching up makeup. She is positively buzzing with energy and excitement and I decide to make no mention of the brooding best man bellied up to the bar already.

With an efficiency known only to the best of the bridezillas Alice has me walked through bustling her train and adjusting her headpiece and removing the veiling. As she pulls me to her in a tight squeeze beaming about how happy she is and kisses my cheek, she takes my hands and looks at me for a long moment.

"Bella, do not let my jackass of a brother get to you. Not today, not ever. His problems are his problems, they are not yours, promise me that." I just look at her and furrow my brow wondering why she is bringing this up now. Maybe she saw him moping at the house or sitting disengaged in the limo. Maybe she saw him at the bar after all.

"No worries, he isn't bothering me one bit. Jasper will put him in his place if he steps out of line today Alice, don't you worry, we won't let him put a damper on your day," I said.

Alice stares at me without saying a word, and finally declares that it is time for us to stand in the receiving line. I follow along and take a place just before Alice and Peter at the front of the line and greet their guests until the last one, Jasper. He kisses me lightly and together we make our way down the remainder of the receiving line congratulating the newlyweds and their family.

Jasper escorts me to the bridal party table and kisses the tip of my nose before making his way to his seat with Carlisle and Esme. I suddenly remember to be nervous about the toasts to come and find myself pleasantly surprised when Edward offers the most magnanimous speech and I can see the tears well in Alice's eyes. I glance to Carlisle and Esme as he makes mention of their parents and see Esme sobbing. Jasper is watching Edward and there is a look of concern and perplexity lining his face, his eyes dart from one Cullen to the next and finally land on me and he looks surprised to see me watching him. Gone are the odd looks I can't quite explain replaced with a genuine smile.

The toasts conclude and all through dinner I can feel this sense of foreboding. I push it to the side and focus on Alice and the amazing meal, but something is gnawing at me slowly, deep down.

The minute dinner is over I join Jasper and only leave his side to attend Alice and pose for pictures. The night seems to be moving so fast, before I know it there is a call for the wedding party to come to the dance floor. I smile watching Peter twirl Alice around the floor and leave Jasper at the edge of the floor to join Edward as Best Man and Matron of Honor in the obligatory dance. The thought of strangling Alice for picking the longest song in history goes through my mind.

Edward wraps his arms around me and pulls me just a little too close. I swallow the lump in my throat and pray he doesn't pull something. I place one hand on his shoulder, the other at his waist and startle as I feel his warm breath on my neck and his whispered words in my ear.

"Bella, don't say anything, just listen." I nod in agreement with his words, my stomach flipping over and over.

"I have been offered a position in LA, it is a once in a lifetime kind of offer Bella. I have to tell them Monday. I can't accept it without telling you, I love you Bella, I have been in love with you since your freshman year, hell since I first met you. I know he is your husband, I know you love him, but I know you feel something for me too. Bella tell me I have a chance, tell me to stay and I will turn it down. Tell me you love him and will never leave him and I will go and never bring it up again. Bella please, I know I can make you happy, I will always be here for you, I won't ever leave you alone, please Bella."

I feel like I am going to be sick. That feeling of my stomach dropping, my jaw slack, I thank God Edward cannot see my face. I step on his toe and stumble, his strong hands catch me and he recovers keeping us floating around the dance floor as though he hadn't just pulled the rug out from under both our lives.

"Say something, please Bella." Edward sounds as though he is pleading for his life and in a way, I realize he is. I wonder what would have happened if I had never moved with Charlie, had I never met Jasper in high school, had I met Edward Cullen the first day of my freshman year. I close my eyes and know; I would have ended up with him. I would have married him. But that isn't the way life played out. I did move to Forks, I did meet Jasper and I love him. No matter what difficulties we have had, no matter what difficulties are yet to come, I love my husband.

I take a deep breath break his heart. "Edward, had things been different, I would have fallen for you that first day. I didn't because I love Jasper, I have always loved Jasper and I will always love Jasper. I am so sorry, Edward, if you love me, please find someone that can give you their heart the way you deserve. I am always going to care about you; I just want you to find someone that can be what you deserve."

"Well, I couldn't leave without trying. I promise Bella, this is the last we will ever discuss it. Friends?" He asks as the music comes to an end and he steps back and smiles that dazzling smile at me.

"Friends." I return his smile, replying and suddenly feel Peter take my elbow and whisper that it is his turn, his bride wants to dance with her brother.

I take Peter's lead and feel him whisper in my ear, "Are you alright? He told you didn't he?"

I wasn't quite sure whether Peter meant Edward telling me he was moving or that he was in love with me, and decide it didn't really matter. "Yes, he told me, and yes I am alright, thanks." We finished the dance in silence and before I knew it I was in Carlisle's arms as Edward took his mother for a spin around the floor. I looked at them and saw them both smiling and laughing. Carlisle expertly moves us away from the fray and tells me how proud he is of me, his third child, his other daughter and hopes that that role will never change. I smile and say "I'd like that dad."

Jasper steps up at the end of the dance and takes my hands in his. We begin to dance and midway through the song he stops, looks at me and asks, "Bella will you marry me?" I laugh and push playfully at his chest and we begin to dance again.

"I am serious Bella. So much has happened, we have spent so many years apart. If we had it to do over again, I would marry you all over, so what do you say, let's start fresh, let's do it again, marry me?"

I say the only thing I will ever say to Jasper, "Yes."

Author's Note: I really hope that you enjoyed the story. This one took a lot out of me personally and I struggled with finishing it. There you have it, a happily ever after, because what I have come to realize is that you don't get a happily ever after without hard work, trials and tribulations.

It is ironic that when this story first started pulling at me and inching its way into my heart, I had no idea just how life would imitate art. I am happy to report that since I first had this idea, our son is now proudly serving in the US Army, has married a wonderful girl and we now have a beautiful granddaughter. I am now seeing close to firsthand just how difficult the life of a military wife and family is. I had absolutely no clue when I started this as an outline that when I finished it my own family would be spending sleepless nights worrying about someone we love across the world in harm's way. My thanks to all who have made the sacrifices to serve and protect every one of us. My prayers for the safety of not only our son, but every member of the armed forces wherever you may be. God bless you and thank you.

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